Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Make Believe Marriage

Not long ago, some bride enthusiasts basically condemned my future happiness because I was the weirdo who didn't have her wedding all planned out, from gown and location to flowers and cake. Like I said, I'm not one to put the cart before the horse. Does this mean I don't want to get married? Nah, I don't think so. Could I have latent doubts about marriage, i.e. trusting someone won't break my heart? Well, come on, who doesn't?

After thinking back on my childhood behavior...Houston, we may have a problem.

Exhibit One, Kindergarten, The Princess Leia Mentality: While all the girls huddled around an oddly comforting plastic kitchen set during recess, I balked at the idea of faux-baking and instead accepted an invite by the boys to be Princess Leia in our Star Wars remake. The little girls all said, "If you go play with them, you can never play here." At the time, I didn't care. I'd rather sit in the little spaceship outlined in desks and pretend I'm leaving a message on R2D2 while running from Darth Vader. 

The potential problem--Rather than play little homemakers with the girls, I found greater happiness playing a stubborn, strong, independent, laser-gun-wielding princess.

The upside--Princess Leia, for all her strength and stubbornness, fell madly in love with Han Solo...and lived happily ever after. I added the last part. *blushes*

And speaking of Han Solo...

Exhibit Two, Kindergarten, Princess Leia Does The Unthinkable: One day, after narrowly escaping Darth Vader, the little boy who played Han Solo asked me to marry him. I said yes. *pause for the inevitable awwwws*  Young love is so sweet...that is until my friend told me during nap that she was really in love with the little boy I was now engaged to.  Oh, and she was sobbing.  I felt awful. So, what did I do? I gave him to her. I literally told him my friend is sad because she loves you and wants to marry you, so you need hold her hand.  Like a typical guy, he jumped spaceship. 

The potential problem--Princess Leia gave up her Han Solo!!! That can't be good. I mean, my mama always said I have the biggest heart she's ever seen, but still....Could I have unwittingly cursed myself by giving away my first faux-groom? Did I bust my own karma?

The upside--Well, I was well-intentioned...I hated seeing my friend sad. That has to count for something, right?

Exhibit Three, Make Believe Marriage...to Superheroes: This may be the most damning of all.  When I was little, I did, in fact, dress up and pretend to marry...Batman, Superman, and James Bond. Yeah. I blame my dad. The first male figures he introduced me to were quarterbacks for the Dallas Cowboys, superhero figures, and 007. The minute I heard, "Bond, James Bond," I was so the smitten kitten. I never pretend-married someone who couldn't fly, melt stuff with their eyeballs, throw a mean spiral, or perform outrageous escapes in a tuxedo. 

The potential problem--Well, hello? Superhero complex, anyone?

The upside--At least I did, you know, pretend to walk down the aisle (we won't mention the rather unique guest list at said wedding or the fact that my groom was in a bat suit and cape). 

Am I strong and stubborn? You bet your chicken fried steak I am.

Would I give my hubby away to someone else? Not on your life.

Do I secretly hold men to an impossible standard? Nah, so long as there's trust and love, he'll be a superhero in my eyes.

Still, it might be kinda fun to, you know, dress up like superheroes and...well...

Meow, Batman.
Han, I'm a slave for you. 
Fly me to the moon, Superman.
I'm your Bond girl.  Shaken, not stirred, 007?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

True Blood Tuesday: She's Not There

Well, after a painfully long wait, we have finally reentered the freaky-fun world of True Blood, and, boy, were there some unexpected twists and turns!

Fairyland: The episode opens with Sookie arriving in faerie-world with her “fairy godmother,” Claudine.  The world is serene, calming, and beautiful.  Sookie runs into fellow telepath, Dallas bellboy Barry, who arrived with his fairy godmother…uh, godfather…whatever.  Almost immediately, Sookie and Barry are offered some glowing fruit. Sookie notices the humans enjoying this funky fruit a little too much and warns Barry to hold off, but he’s already indulging. 

While observing the humans, Sookie sees her Granddaddy Earl, looking exactly as he did when she was a little girl.  Believing he was absent for a mere week, Granddaddy Earl learns he has been gone for twenty years.  As they talked, Sookie began seeing some disturbing images: seriously creepy looking faeries, rotten light fruit, and moldy growth on faerie-land grounds. Realizing this place was a fa├žade, she telepathically told her granddaddy that this is a trap and they need to escape. Unfortunately, it seems everyone in faerie-land is a telepath.

Here, we meet Queen Mab, a towering faerie with a desire to seal the portal between humanity and the faerie world. We learned last season that faerie blood allows vampires to walk in the sun, thus Mab, in an effort to save her kind, has been harvesting faerie hybrids. But when Mab tries to force-feed Sookie some of the tainted fruit, Sookie blasts her backwards, unveiling a sparse, dank reality where the faeries transform into rather hideous goblin-like creatures. 

Thought: Sookie, a half-faerie, blasted Queen Mab? Is Sookie more powerful than even she knows? Something to ponder…

Claudine’s brother, a member of the rebel faeries, wants the portal to remain open, and rushes to save Sookie and Granddaddy Earl from Mab and her wild light-grenade throwing groupies.  He leads them to the edge of faerie-world, but warns that only Sookie can return because she didn’t eat the light fruit. Sookie, not wanting to leave her granddaddy, hesitates, giving Mab enough time to start closing the portal.  Granddaddy Earl grabs Sookie and jumps. 

Bon Temps: The return & time warp.  Back in Bon Temps, Sookie bids a teary farewell to Granddaddy Earl, who begins rapidly aging and dies next to her grandmother’s grave, bursting into a cloud of dust. Just before he passes, Granddaddy Earl gave her his pocket watch to give to Jason.  It was a sweet, but very sad and quick reunion.

Meanwhile, the second Sookie arrives back in Bon Temps, we see Eric and Bill in their respective sleeping spots, both waking upon sensing her return.

Sookie, believing she was gone for only 15 minutes, discovers she was really gone for over a year in the human realm.  Everyone thought she was dead and believed Bill killed her. 

Many changes have occurred in the year since Sookie disappeared: Jason is now a well-respected officer; Andy is a cop hooked on V; Jason sold Sookie’s house; Arlene has had her devil-baby; Tara is a lesbian and a cage fighter; humans are picketing outside of Fangtasia; with the help of Bill and Eric, the AVL (American Vampire League) is working overtime, filming PSA’s and the like, to win over humans after Russell’s antics; and witches have come to Bon Temps.

Now, let’s break it down by the characters:

Jessica & Hoyt: Their house is all fixed up and they are living in bliss…but not really. Jessica is restless, craving humans to feed upon, while Hoyt wants her to be a little more domesticated (cook him dinner, try to eat human food, etc).  After laughing over a little argument, Hoyt and Jessica go to Fangtasia for date night.  While Hoyt is getting drinks, sexy-dancing-Jessica is tempted by a male fang-banger, but stays loyal to her boyfriend.

Thought: What about that creepy baby doll we saw in their house at the end of last season? Maybe the rumored haunted house story will come into play later on.
                                                                                                                       
Arlene & Terry: Terry has clearly taken a liking to being a daddy.  Arlene, however, is scared to death of Rene’s child. When she comes home and finds the baby has beheaded a half-dozen Barbie dolls, she wigs.  

Lafayette & Jesus: Though still going strong, Lafayette is less than thrilled about going to a coven meeting with Jesus.  So, onto Moon Goddess Emporium, where Lafayette witnesses head witch Marnie on some other plane, talking to the dead.  He makes light of the situation until Marnie channels vampire Eddie. Later in the show, Lafayette reluctantly joins hands with the other witches and helps to momentarily bring Marnie’s pet bird, Minerva (I really want to make a Harry Potter joke here, since Marnie is played by none other than Fiona Shaw, who portrayed Aunt Petunia in the Potter films.) back to life.  Now, the stage is set for a little witch-undead match up.

Tara (a.k.a. Toni) and Naomi: Tara is now a fighter in New Orleans and is in a lesbian relationship with Naomi, a fellow fighter. The problem? When Lafayette texts Tara about Sookie being alive, Tara lies to Naomi and says her father just texted about her grandmother’s passing.  Um, Naomi thinks Tara comes from Atlanta. Oh, and she thinks Tara’s name is really Toni.  Tara wanted to start over…guess that’s what she’s done.

Sam, Tommy, Luna: Sam actually did shoot Tommy in the leg at the end of last season.  Tommy, who is undergoing physical therapy, now lives with Hoyt’s mother.  Since Hoyt defected to the dark side, Maxine is eager to treat Tommy like a son—which means Tommy kinda dresses and acts like a dweeb. 

Meanwhile, Sam has been attending anger management classes, which basically amounts to having wine, talking, and shifting into horses with three fellow shifters, one of which is the lovely Luna. Clearly, Luna and Sam will soon be one of our new Bon Temps couples.

Jason & Hotshot: Now a respected police officer, Jason has taken the role of watcher, both to V-addict Andy, as well as the helpless people of Hotshot, just as Crystal asked. On another visit to Hotshot, Jason brings some food and supplies, but one of the teens tells him the freezer is broken again. Jason, ever the good guy, goes to take a look, but while bending into the freezer, the teen hits him over the head, pushes him into the freezer, and locks it.  Way to appreciate all the help he’s given them!

Sookie & Portia: Sookie seeks legal help to get her house back from the new buyers. Enter Portia Bellefleur, Andy’s sister, and attorney.  Portia comes off as a bit snooty, but agrees to keep digging into the mysterious new owners of Sookie’s house.  Sookie dipped into Portia’s brain for a moment and heard her talking about how she hopes Sookie doesn’t go running back to Bill, especially since he hardly even speaks her name anymore. See what I mean? Snooty.

Thought: Could Portia have a thing for Bill? The “new owners” have put over $50,000 into fixing up Sookie’s home. Can we all scream, “FINALLY!” I am so happy to see her house clean of all the dirt and grime from when that maenad lived there.

Sookie & Bill: Though genuinely happy to see Sookie alive, you can tell Sookie is not ready to forgive him.  After all, to her, it’s only been fifteen minutes since he broke her heart.  For me, their brief reunion seemed strained. 

Bill: There was a HUGE twist in Bill’s storyline—Bill is the KING of Louisiana.  Reckon he defeated the Queen! One of the witches in the coven is spying for King Bill and informs him of Marnie’s success in bringing a bird back to life. 

Thought: I may be wrong, but I’m thinking there was a spark between Bill and this little spy lady. 

Sookie & Eric: Eric reveals that while Sookie’s friends, family, and even Bill Compton believed she was dead, he never did.  It was so sweet…and, um, sooooo sexy. At the end of the episode, Sookie, after having a shower, took off her cover-up and tossed it over her shoulder…and it never hit the floor.  When she turned around, she found Eric standing behind her, holding her cover-up, and soaking in every inch of her body. She quickly grabbed something to cover herself, but Eric got his eyes full and moaned about how strange it is when reality matches what he imagined for so long. 

Sookie says she rescinded his invitation, but Eric reminds her that she no longer owns the house.  Slowly, Eric reaches into his pocket and pulls out some keys. Eric now owns Sookie’s house. He figures that if he owns her house, he owns Sookie. The episode ended with him standing over her saying, “You are mine.” Oh, and he flashed a little fang.  Sigh.  

And there we have it! Welcome back to Bon Temps! What did y'all think of your first trip back to crazy town?

Monday, June 27, 2011

Share Mail: The Waiting Game


Hi! Do you ever get tired of waiting? And what advice would you give to young girls who want to wait for love, like you, but are having a tough time waiting?
                        
Oh, I get tired of waiting all right! Like I’ve said before, this is not an easy choice, much like I’m not an easy lay. But, life isn’t about sitting around, moping about not having anyone in your life (though sometimes you may want to).  You have to keep moving. Life will catch up when the time is right. Strength is built from within.  Remember, you’re stronger than you realize. The most important thing is to do what’s right for you and never let anyone change that.

As far as coping with the waiting, I think you have to start with your mindset. Stereotypes would have you think virginity is some weird, abnormal thing you should be ashamed of.  Personally, I like to turn stereotypes on their head and suggest that virginity is not only pure, but sexy. You don’t have to have sex for someone to find you sexy.

I like to think of myself as undiscovered, uncharted territory.  We virgins just have to wait for our Christopher Columbus to uncover us.

You can’t compare where you are now to where you want to be in the future—you’ll go nowhere and likely drive yourself crazy in the process. It’s like treading water in the deep end, waiting for the bottom of the pool to touch your feet.  The best and only thing you can do is just go with the flow—ride the waves and see where life takes you.  Most of all, trust in yourself and believe in the seemingly unbelievable. 

Thursday, June 23, 2011

When A Salad Looks Like A Pillow

Ever go on a date you really didn't want to go on just to please someone you know?

I found myself on one of these dates, something I affectionately refer to as ANDD (to be revealed at the end of the post). 

Bless him, I'm sure there is a match for him somewhere out there, but...it ain't me. (Throwin' in some slang! Yee Haw! And, no, I didn't slang it up on the date...we Texans save our slang for very special occasions...like a Cowboys game).

Conversing was a challenge, he hated sports, and laughing and/or joking was out of the question since at some point along his life he must have had a humor lobotomy.

When I asked him about his favorite sport, he said, "I'm not a sports man. That must be refreshing for a woman to hear."

Unless said woman loves sports. I instantly knew this man would have thought I was a crazed lunatic during the NBA Finals.

At one point, he started talking about some random topic like leaf pigmentation and all I could think about was how comfortable my salad looked.

The last time I worked so hard to keep the yawns at bay was during a lecture on Pythagorean theorem. The growing desire to rest my head on the table and use the salad as my pillow was rather disturbing...as was the fact that I didn't want to use toothpicks to hold my eyelids up--I wanted to jab them in my eyeballs just to get some sort of reaction from the man. 

We had nothing in common.  Zero. 

Moral of the story: When your salad looks like a pillow, you are on an ANDD, Ass-Numbingly Dull Date.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

True Blood Tuesday: Season 4 FIRST 8 MINUTES!!!

Okay, my little fang-friendly friends, are you ready for a sneak peek of the new season of True Blood? HBO has released a teaser in the form of the first eight minutes of episode one. Initially, they released a six minute preview...now we have a couple of extra minutes of True Blood madness!!! 

If you haven't seen it, I think you might be in for something...well...fairytale-like...in a dark, twisted, True Blood way. 




So, what do you think???

Monday, June 20, 2011

Dating Sucks...Oh, And New Harry Potter!!!

Dating is a boil on the butt of humanity. It's the hair wad clogging the drain, the monster under the bed.  Ever worn a pair of tall boots and had an insane foot itch? That's dating.

Oh, but a good date can be magical, you say? Well, I suppose it can be magical...as magical as any of the Unforgivable curses. Crucio! 

Speaking of Unforgivable curses...how many of you are ready to see Voldemort taken down by one Harry Potter? Well, place an undetectable extension charm on your favorite bag, pack it full of spell books, and don't forget your wand as you make a date with the final Harry Potter film--a date that won't disappoint.

Prepare for the most incredible Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II movie trailer yet--people just can't stop watching it! 



Friday, June 17, 2011

J.K. Rowling To Launch "Pottermore"

Do you hear them? The owls? They're flying all around the world, delivering some mysterious, yet exciting news to Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff hopefuls!

J.K. Rowling is set to launch Pottermore.com. Representatives for the beloved author have said the site is not a new book, nor is it related to the final film.

Many are speculating the site could include a vault of stories, character backgrounds, and possibly alternative plot lines never before seen in print.

All I know is this: I can't wait! I love the Harry Potter series and always will. Now, we have something to look forward to, as the magic lives on.

To view the upcoming site, simply wave your wand and click here: Pottermore.com

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Rowdy, Proud, & Loud--It's Award/Thank You Time

As you know, for months, I've been consumed with my Dallas Mavericks run for the championship.  I've loved them for as long as I can remember, so with each game, each win, the anticipation, excitement, and nervousness increased to levels I can only assume reached some unknown stratosphere.

Sunday night, the run ended in spectacular fashion with the Dallas Mavs winning their very first NBA Championship.  It was truly a dream season.

I've been so incredibly touched by how many of you supported my devotion to my team, which included some hot-under-the-collar posts about, oh, you know, one-sided announcers, people who constantly put my Mavs down, etc. From the seriously giddy to the rather emotional moments, y'all were there, supporting me and my Mavs, and I want to thank you.

The fact that you even pulled for my Mavs...well, that just meant the world to me. As corny as it sounds, I kinda like to think the Mavs could feel all of the support coming their way.

So, for all of you who put up with my Mavs-sporty-gal posts...this is just a little something for you. The Rowdy, Proud, & Loud Award...well, really it's just a thank you.

With love from a Mavericks' fan.

Somnia, Jewels, Eva (even though you don't accept awards...since this is really just a big thank you, I figured you might not mind too much), Aubree, Chanel, Yvonne, Oilfield Trash, Carole, kitkat, Mrs. B, Chocolateangel, Jack of Diamonds, Not The Hero, George, David (even though he didn't pull for my Mavs, he's a basketball fan and a good sport).

If I missed anyone, I'm sorry--you know who you are and you know I love ya to bits!

Rules? None. This is simply a thank you...a blogging hug of sorts. There are no rules with thank yous. Hugs to you all...

...and, one last time this season...

GO MAVS!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Stereotype Slayer #14: Virgins Will Purposely Hold Back

Since I'm still in post-Mavs championship euphoria, I feel the need for some simple stereotype slayer action. However, I must say, I've made some rather startling discoveries during the course of this championship run regarding sports and hormones...another post for another day.

Stereotype: "Virgins will purposely hold back because they've been used to not letting go sexually."

This one will be very short and sweet.

If anything, when a virgin is unleashed for the first time...holding back will be the LAST thing on her mind, I assure you.

Shyness and nervousness aside...

...Darlin', when I decide to save a horse and ride a cowboy...it's on.

Stereotype #14: SLAYED (with ease).

Sunday, June 12, 2011

THE DALLAS MAVERICKS ARE NBA CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!

The DALLAS MAVERICKS have won their first NBA Championship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The happy tears are streaming down my face, just like I knew they would. Ooooh, I'm a little emotional right now!!!

Words cannot describe how incredibly happy I am for my Mavs, for Dirk, for Kidd, for Terry, for Mark Cuban, for Don Carter...for everyone devoted to this team.

Mark Cuban--thank you. We are remarkably fortunate he is our owner. His passion and devotion to the Mavs, to the fans, and to Dallas...well, you can't put into words how much that means. He's a special, special human being.  I think just about every Mavs' fan felt the sting of tears when Mark Cuban requested the presentation of the trophy be made to Don Carter, the founder of the Dallas Mavericks.  It was an incredibly touching moment.  The tears in Mr. Carter's eyes said it all--beautiful moment.

Rick Carlisle coached a phenomenal series.

Dirk was named MVP, and rightly so. He's our humble warrior and a gift to basketball. It is a privilege to watch him play, and an absolute joy to see him as an NBA champion.

JET...it's a beautiful thing to watch him fly.

Jason Kidd finally has his championship. Amazing player!

Every single player on this team deserves ALL the credit in the world.

Tonight, the Dallas Mavericks quieted all those who refused to recognize and respect them. They showed what it means to be a champion:

hard work,
unselfish play,
overcoming adversity,
dealing with naysayers in a classy manner, 
never giving up,
standing together as one team, and
playing with the most powerful tool of all--heart.

No one gave the Mavs a chance against the Lakers. Mavs swept them.

No one gave the Mavs a chance against the Heat. Mavs beat them, winning the last 3 straight games. (Might I add, we beat them handily tonight, 105-95.  The Heat looked rather frazzled.  Did that sound a little "ha ha, in your face?" I don't mean it like that...*bats baby blues*...well, maybe a little bit).

No one thought the Mavs could win a championship. Mavs are the champions.

Let me tell y'all something...the fans BELIEVED. I believed. We never stopped.  Never. 

I'm so VERY, VERY proud of this team.

Now, if y'all will excuse me, I really must wipe the tears and go shopping--lots to buy...let's see, I need a Mavs championship t-shirt, a hat, the DVD...

WAY TO GO MAVS!!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE THE WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!!!






























































































 

Thursday, June 9, 2011

DALLAS MAVERICKS WIN GAME 5 AGAINST THE HEAT!!!!!! LEAD SERIES 3-2

ONE MORE!!! ONE MORE!!! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *my bouncing has definitely reached new heights...much like my blood pressure*

In another absolutely fantastic game, the Mavs defeated the Heat 112-103.

I. Can't. Breathe. Literally.

I'm so darn PROUD of my Mavs. PROUD. 

NOTE: LeBron and Wade made fun of Dirk ON VIDEO (Go to the 1:00 mark) for being sick. They began coughing in their shirts, and Wade looked around at LeBron, saying he thinks he's sick or getting sick. Really mature, there, fellas. Expected more from y'all. Dirk hasn't done a damn thing to warrant that.  He hasn't trash-talked.  He hasn't done anything...but beat you on the court, of course. It's called basketball.

NOTE: Prior to tonight's game, TMZ reported that Miami fans were purchasing voodoo dolls to help their team win. They ended the article with the following: "Lucky for the Heat, they probably won't need the extra help."

***Dallas is now up 3-2. One win away. Yet, people are STILL saying the Heat is a better team than the Mavs. You know what? Let 'em. You'd have to be a stubborn jacka** (pardon my language) not to see the greatness of the Mavericks.

There, I feel better. 

Now...

How are you feeling Dirk? ;) What hurt finger? What temperature? The man is a legend. No question. 

JJ was playing like he was 10 ft. tall!!!

Can we say 3 pointers??? Jason Terry and Jason Kidd closed this game with HUGE 3 pointers. JET! JET! JET!

The Mavs played TOUGH, FAST, and with HEART!! They mixed it up, gave Miami some different looks, and left everything on the court. 

God Bless, I LOVE my team!!! I'll go to battle for 'em any day of the week!  ONE more, Mavs...ONE more.

There's nothing more powerful: HEART, FAITH, &  BELIEVE!!!!!!

GO MAVS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TEST: Can You See This Post?

Can't post. I posted this afternoon, but it never showed up to anyone but me.

I'm really aggravated right now.

Right before the game, too.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

DALLAS MAVERICKS WIN GAME 4 AGAINST THE HEAT!!!!!! TIES SERIES 2-2

Dear Lord, I'm not adult enough for this! Insane basketball!!!

Question: HOW can ANYONE in their right mind say the Dallas Mavericks are outmatched by the Heat?

4 games, all close, and a tied series. However this series turns out, it's time for people to eat their words and recognize the Mavericks as one helluva talented team...one that is just as good as the Heat. Come on. Grow some and man-up to all who downed my Mavs. 

Dirk.  Our beloved Dirk.  He played bad-sick tonight, fighting through a 101-102 temperature. Doctors unsuccessfully tried to bring his temp down prior to the game. Chandler said they watched him and he was barely able to talk because of the wheezing and coughing.  I confess, I got a little teary watching him battle on--he's a humble warrior.  The rest of the team stepped up and gave him the support he needed.

Terry, Chandler, JJ, Kidd, Stevenson...everyone played GRITTY-TOUGH.

Mavs bench outscored the Heat bench, 28-15. 

This team played a phenomenal defensive 4th quarter--I mean, did y'all see that? It was about as perfect as you can get, forcing Heat turnovers and holding Miami to 14. 

At the very end, it appeared as though Terry looked up at Dirk and said, "I got you." THIS is a team. 

I've said it before, and I'll say it again and again...it all comes down to heart. There is nothing more powerful than heart and believing.  Nothing. 

BELIEVE.

*slightly teary-eyed* GO MAVS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wedding Weirdness


Mavs lose, and a bad day is sure to follow…the kind you wish would hurry up and end so you can go home, grab some ice cream, curl up in your favorite chair, and watch some guilty pleasure movie, like Dance With Me.

Here are the high points (low points?):

In the course of random conversation with people I barely knew, the topic of weddings came up.  Hardly surprising considering it’s the month of June--the unofficial wedding month--where every girly station like WE, Lifetime, and TLC, airs enough I Do shows to make The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man explode. 

I’m a hopeless romantic, y’all know that, but weddings have never been a fantastic fantasy in my life. This, as I learned, instantly shoves me into the “You are so doomed” category.

Here’s why:

-I haven’t had my ideal wedding planned since I was a little girl.
-I don’t have THE dress already in mind.  An idea, maybe, but certainly nothing set in stone.
-I don’t buy bridal magazines and keep clippings in a box with hand painted flowers and hearts. (I’ve never even held a bridal magazine)
-I don’t have a dream venue; I haven’t chosen my colors (again, an idea, maybe); I don’t have music or flowers picked out.
-I wouldn’t force my bridesmaids to wear something they don’t want to wear—no single style dress/outfit; no single color, etc. If they want strapless, cool! If they want a little jacket, cool!
-I’ve never tried on a wedding gown (Um, is this really something a single woman does?)

Bride Enthusiast: “Didn’t you know it’s bad luck not to pre-plan your wedding?”

Me, amused: “Interesting. And here I thought it was bad luck if the groom sees the bride before the wedding.”

Bride Girl: “Will you take this seriously, please? This isn’t good!  You're jinxing yourself!”

Me, grinning: “Well…I know I don’t want fancy, frou-frou food. I want down-home cooking that everyone will love. Does that count?”

They weren't convinced.

Guess I don’t have the cart-before-the-horse mentality. I don’t begrudge anybody who plans their wedding in advance of an engagement…or a groom…(it’s kinda cute and hopeful, really), but, good grief, don’t say it’s oh-so-bad luck for me because I never did the same.  

Here’s the deal: I don’t define love by a single day event where you wear an unmanageable white dress that is certain to get slopped on by day’s end. For me, it’s about two people who somehow find each other through this unbelievable chaos called dating.

Reckon I just value the love part more; the wedding part, to me, isn’t meant to be stressful—it’s meant to be enjoyed. A bridezilla, I would most definitely NOT be. It’s not my nature. If you’re lucky enough to find a lifetime love, then the wedding is just white icing on the chocolate cake…at least to me (Huh. Looks like I subconsciously have the cake part picked out anyway).

So, after the Bridal Brigade, I didn’t think the things could get much worse.

I was wrong.

My phone is totally PMSing. She refused to make calls, refused to take calls, and denied me my voice mail. She begrudgingly let me text. Little b*&^%.  I had to call (on another phone) to see if I can fix my phone’s funk.

Following the automated voice stuff, I dutifully fulfilled my button pushing role until something went massively wrong.  It asked me to punch in the number of the phone I was calling about (which, of course, wasn’t the one I was calling from). So, I punched in my cranky phone’s number and heard this:

“You chose to pay 1 million blah blah blah…”  Her voice kept reading numbers and my brain went into freeze mode, while my body starting sweating profusely.

I WHAT?! No, I absolutely DID NOT.

I ended the call immediately, not even letting her finish the endless number reading.

“Thanks a lot, you useless piece of PMSing metal!”

What followed was me trying not to channel the horse in Animal House, all while shaking, dialing, glaring at my problem phone, talking, and getting everything resolved—hopefully. The person I talked with said there must be a problem with the automated system.

See, this is why I don’t use GPS. Dang thing would send me straight off a pier, into the ocean, and down the mouth of a whale.

The day ended with a massive headache and an ice bag.   

Mavs, I really, really need you to win. 




Sunday, June 5, 2011

Dallas Mavericks Lose Game 3 To The Heat :(

You wanted a good series? You've got a good series.  AWESOME game tonight! Unfortunately, the Mavs came up a little short, losing 88-86. The Heat take the series lead 2-1.

Ugh, this hurts like heck. I just love my team so much! I hate seeing them lose, particularly when they work so hard and play so incredibly tough.

I don't think I need to discuss the announcers--slanted, once again. Shock, right? The MUTE button is getting a workout.

Let me say this: For all who said--and continue to say--the Dallas Mavericks were no match for the Miami Heat, you were/are wrong. Even with turnovers and missed opportunities, this team stays right with the mighty Miami Heat. How can anyone say this Mavs team is anything other than GREAT?

Just saw someone say the Heat is "more talented and will dominate." Wow. After three CLOSE games and people can still say that. Pathetic, untrue, and really poor sportsmanship. Frankly, I think they are evenly matched. 

To win this series, we'll have to do it in Miami.  Miami hoisted that trophy, Game 6, in Dallas, in 2006...maybe it's time for a reversal of fortune.

GO GET 'EM NEXT GAME! Y'all will be just fine!!!!!! Mavs fans don't give up and we don't get down!!! WE BELIEVE!!!!! Let's do this in spectacular fashion, MAVS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO MAVS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

DALLAS MAVERICKS WIN GAME 2 AGAINST THE HEAT!!!!!! TIES SERIES 1-1

Bounce! Cry! Bounce! Cry! Bounce! Pass Out.

After all of Miami's showboating and celebratory posing in front of the Dallas bench, it was truly beautiful to watch my Mavs calmly and professionally take it to the Heat. 

Hard play, Mavs! Hard play! Down 15 and what did the Mavs do? They got the GRRRRRRRRR and took it to 'em. And they said we wouldn't be able to come back against the Heat!!! Beg to differ. Come on, respect people! They've EARNED it.

I had to watch the game muted, yet again. Perhaps the ABC commentators should seek positions on on the Heat's PR team. Honestly, why cover a game if you are going to sniff up the backsides of one team and completely disrespect the other? They got there the same way the Heat did.  By the way these announcers talk, you would think the Mavs merely won a lottery to get to the Finals, while the Heat earned their way in.

Soooooo, I just have one thing to say to the commentators: HOW DO YOU LIKE US NOW? *Cue Toby Keith* (This may reek of snottiness, and I am sorry if it does, but I WILL defend my team). 

Dallas held the Heat to 5 points in seven minutes. I'd say that's defense.

We came back from a 15 point deficit in the 4th.  I'd say that's offense. 

After sinking a 3 pointer, Dirk hit the game winner...with his left hand (you know, the injured one). I'd say that's hardcore heart. 

This Mavs team is a damn good team. Marion had an amazing night. Dirk and Terry closed it. We made the tweaks we needed--we out rebounded Miami and our bench outscored theirs (23-11).

Tweaks for game 3: Eliminate turnovers. Now, let's put these turnovers into perspective: We gave the Heat points--practically handed them 31 points...AND STILL we won on their court. THAT says something, folks.

HEART. That's where you find greatness.

Get Rowdy, Proud, And Loud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dallas, we're COMING HOME!!!!

GO MAVS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dale, Dirk, and Dragons

Dirk: So, I reckon y'all know my Dallas Mavericks lost game 1 of the NBA Finals to the Miami Heat. Tonight is game 2.  I'm trying to remind myself to exhale.  When I look back at the game, I see areas the Mavs need to tweak (they're masters at tweaking), but overall they were right there with the Heat (until the 4th, really). 

Dirk has torn tendons in his left middle finger (yeah, the bird.  Ironic, huh?).  He's not too worried about it--you think anything is going to stop this man? Not a chance.

Dale: It was the sputter heard 'round the world...well, at least around NASCAR...and Earnhardt Nation.  On the very last lap of the race Sunday at Charlotte, Dale Earnhardt Jr. was leading the race--you could hear the roar of fans; my house was coming unglued.  As he came around the final turn, finish line in sight, his car slowed.  He was out of gas *THIS CLOSE* to the finish line. I can only describe it as crushing. I just felt so bad for him. Okay, okay, I was a little weepy.  He wound up finishing 7th, so it was still a great finish, but I really hate his gas tank.

After the race, he was so upbeat and just so...positive...he's a good guy.  You can't help but like him. 

Dragons: So, after Dale's demon gas tank, Dallas' loss, and Dirk's torn bird finger, I decided to watch a movie about Dragons.  What is it with me and things that start with "D?" Anyway, have you seen the movie How To Train Your Dragon? OMGoodness!!!! If you haven't and are looking for a fun escape--this is it.

The film follows a very un-Viking, Viking boy named Hiccup, who simply does not conform to traditional Viking ways. While everyone else strives to slay "evil" dragons, Hiccup befriends them and opens the eyes of all his fellow Vikings. 

The film holds a 98% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and I can absolutely see why.

I'm completely in love with this film--it's funny, smart, beautiful, and uplifting.  The message is clear: Don't judge a book by its cover and never discard someone just because they're different. Warning: You will surely laugh, you may shed a tear or two, and you may very well feel compelled to applaud

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Share Mail: Pressure To Fit In

NOTE: THE PROM PRESSURE SHARE MAIL FROM JUST PRIOR TO THE BLOGGER HICCUP IS NOW POSTED WITH TODAY'S DATE, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS FROM LAST MONTH (MAY 11th). I DON'T GET IT. (Maybe it had to do with the labels that were messed up and appearing in the wrong places??? I finally figured out how to fix that, but it should NOT be appearing with today's date--you'll see the majority of comments are from the 11th. I don't get technology sometimes).


Frisky Virgin, 

I'm the only virgin of all my friends and they think I'm weird.  A lot of times I feel like I'm doing things to fit in or to keep up with them and stay in the group-like drinking or smoking and I don't feel good doing those things either.  They make fun of me because I haven't had sex and one guy asked me why I want to be weird.  Sometimes they leave me out of things.  How do you handle it? What do you say?  I've had enough and think if I just do it, then they'll get off my back.

Oh, sweetie, I understand exactly how you feel, but doing things to fit in or in the hope these people will ease up on you is not the way to go--that's not living your life...it's living theirs. 

Never feel you have to engage in activities you are not comfortable with simply to please your friends.  If they were your true friends, they would respect your choices.  Don't drink to make them happy; don't smoke to make them happy; don't have sex to make them happy.  Basically, you're making them happy for a moment--a blip in time--that's it...tomorrow or the next day, they will find something else you will have to do to please them.  It's a vicious cycle and a waste of your life.  YOUR life, not theirs. 

One important life lesson my mama taught me early on was this: No matter what you do, you will never please everyone all the time. In fact, there are some people out there you will NEVER please, no matter how hard you may try. The best you can do is live your life the best way you can, be happy with yourself, and NEVER let someone try to tell you how to live YOUR life. And, believe me, they will try. 

It's amazing how some people are so unhappy in their own lives that they have nothing better to do but to attack, tease, or otherwise try to hurt others.  I wish I could say people grow up and stop being ridiculously petty, but, unfortunately they do not.  Some people get this sick sense of fulfillment when ridiculing others. It's pathetic, nothing more, nothing less.

How I handle it:  I let it roll off my shoulder. I see those types of people for who they truly are and I feel sorry for them.  I stay true to myself, stand my ground, and keep on keeping on.  Again, it's my life, not theirs.

What I say: Not much. If someone comes at you, don't feed them. Just say something straightforward like, "Hey, this is me" or "Just as you are who you are, I am who I am, no apologies." One extremely effective phrase, should they keep at you or cross a line in your book, is this: "Shame on you." Never fails. Basically, you don't need to say much--you don't owe them anything.

Stay strong, darlin'.  There's nothing wrong with marching to the beat of your own drum.  People will try their damnedest to tear you down and get under your skin. Rather than letting their words get to you, look through them--read between the lines, feel sorry for these people, and hope they one day find whatever it is they are missing in their lives.

I know I'm making it sound easy--trust me, I cried in a pillow a time or two (or three or four)...and with each tear, I got stronger. You will too.

Share Mail: Prom Pressure

Dear The Frisky Virgin,
                      
I hope you don’t mind me writing you.  I need help and have no one to talk to.

My boyfriend wants to have sex on prom night. I’m not ready. When I told him, he said he’s not sure he could stay with me if I don’t. He even said he might not be able to take me to prom if he knows I won’t have sex with him.  He said he loves me, and doesn’t want to break up, but that it’s time we have sex.  I feel like it’s an ultimatum.  He says if I love him and he loves me, then I should be okay having sex, especially on prom night.

I don’t want him to break up with me, but I’m not ready to sleep with him either.  I don’t know what to do.  


Never worry about writing me—that’s what I’m here for, anytime. 

Your instinct is right: He IS giving you an ultimatum—have sex with him or he’ll break up with you, possibly even before the prom.  That’s a low thing to do.  If he truly loves you, he simply should not put you in this situation.  For him, the future of your relationship rests on whether or not you have sex with him on prom night.  That’s just backwards.  Love doesn’t work that way.

You’ve told him how you feel and still he dangles the dreaded break-up carrot in front of you. He’s not respecting your feelings—he's too focused on what he wants.  It sounds like he’s trying to guilt you into having sex.  I understand that you love him and you don’t want him to break up with you…but, do you really want to stay with someone who could put you in this situation?  

Sex is a big deal.  If you think about it, it’s what brought all of our lives into existence.  An act that can create a human life is no small thing.  It’s not something you should feel pressured to do before you're ready, even if you love him.  No one should ever push you into something you don’t feel comfortable doing.  This is your life, no one else’s. 

I’ve seen girls give in long before they were ready because their boyfriends backed them into a corner—have sex or break up...and it’s something they said they really regret.  I know it’s difficult to be strong, but you need to stand your ground.  If he truly loves and respects you, he will stand by you.  If not, he may walk away.  If he does break up with you, then he didn’t deserve you to begin with.  Does it hurt when a guy walks away over not getting sex? Of course it hurts, but, in the end, you stayed true to yourself, you didn’t give in to something you weren’t ready for, and you learned just how strong you are—that’s invaluable.   

*If I can be of help to anyone, please know I’m here to talk about the stresses and benefits of virginity, how to handle certain situations, or, well, just anything. :)  Messages, whether via e-mail or otherwise, will only be posted if you give the thumbs-up.