True Blood Tuesday: Welcome to Vamp Camp

Season six, Episode five

Sookie & Warlow: We pick up exactly where we left off last week with Sook telling Warlow to get the eff off of her. Warlow immediately removes himself from Sook without issue; Sookie follows him around her living room with her supernova shining bright, ripping him a new one. He says she doesn’t understand—it’s their destiny to be together; she is his intended. Sookie: “If you loved me so much why’d you kill my parents.” Uh…yeah.  

Jessica, Bill, & the dead fairies: Jess is a mess, crying on Bill’s shoulder. Stunned, Bill says they’ll figure it out…and then she starts KISSING Bill. HOLY! Bill ends that stuff really quick, and Jess returns to her self-loathing, claiming she’s a monster and deserves to burn.

Sookie, Bill, & Warlow: Warlow claims the night her parents died, her parents were actually trying to kill her and he did what he had to do to save her. Sookie, totally not believing him, swiped her ball of light across his chest, burning him…a burn Bill felt intensely back at his mansion. Bill rushes into Sookie’s house...to retrieve his progeny, Warlow. Because Bill drank Lilith’s blood, he is now Warlow’s maker. Thus, as his maker, Bill commanded Warlow to follow him back to the mansion. Poor Sook is left completely dumbfounded.

NOTE: Okay, so, I’m guessing Bill is, essentially, Lilith reincarnated?? Or, perhaps, she just lives in his blood?? Ugh, I’m confused.

Andy: Andy shows up at Bill’s mansion, gun in-hand, and discovers his daughters, slaughtered on the ground. OMG, so sad!!! He’s going to each one of them, searching for any sign of life. As Jess zips out of the house, unnoticed, Andy hears a little gasp. He hurried to her, scooped her up, and took her away. “Daddy’s gonna make you okay.”

NOTE: How can anyone NOT love Andy this season?! I want to hug him.

Eric & Tara: Tara shows up to meet Eric. She tells him the governor’s men got Pam. Eric leads Tara to a checkpoint, where they allow themselves to be caught and taken to the camp.

NOTE: WTH?! Seriously, Eric?! This is dangerous. I mean, I want him to save Pam, too, but…turning himself over to the nutcases is hardly the best plan, right? Am I missing something?!

Pam: Guards are leading Pam down the halls of the camp. On their way, they pass some scientific labs depicting vamps having their fangs removed (ouch), some uber-speedy vamp-screwing, etc.

Sarah & Governor: Sarah tries to convince Gov. to let Willa go. Um…Sarah wants a ring and a baby. Hello, crazy chick, anyone?! He’s not interested in replacing his daughter, nor is he too keen on putting a ring on it. As he rushes out of the bedroom, Sarah desperately reminds him that when a woman comes to a man in black lingerie, you unwrap her.

NOTE: Clearly, Sarah is still trying to get over what Steve did to her. In fact, she even warns the Gov. not to take her for granted like Newlin did. Still…is this chick on glue?! She’s acting completely mental!

Warlow & Bill: Bill tells Warlow of his connection with Lilith—how they are now one and the same. Bill zooms over and stabs Warlow in the neck, taking a sample of his blood. While doing so, Warlow/Bill think back on the night Warlow was turned by Lilith.

When Lilith showed up, she was, of course, naked and intoxicated by his fairy scent. She humps him standing up; scratches his back, and says he is destined to save vampire-kind—thus, she bites him. Back to present day: Warlow says Billith made him into something he despises. Billith says I made you into our salvation.

Jason & Sarah: Desperate Sarah is on Jason’s steps, wanting to save his soul. SERIOUSLY?! Jason isn’t at all happy. She says—are you ready—God wants her to *bleep* him. And, of course, Jason cannot resist. They get it on in a big way.

NOTE: Anyone else think Jason’s her fallback? Because I’m thinking she just wants to get knocked up and try to convince the governor the baby is his.

Andy & Fairy Daughter: Andy takes the only one he was able to save from Bill’s mansion back to the station. From their evidence room, Andy retrieves a vial of V and feeds it to his daughter. She wakes up and says, “Daddy?”

Alcide: Alcide is in a ‘backwoods wolf’ bar, trying to dig up information on Sam’s whereabouts. Unfortunately, the backwoods bunch isn’t keen on helping the power-hungry pack master. Alcide’s father questions his intentions regarding Emma—he wonders if this is something Alcide really wants to do or if the new pack master is trying to impress Rikki. Alcide slams his father to the ground and tells him to get out of his life.

NOTE: Yeah, I’m over this new version of Alcide. I can’t stand him, and that hurts to say because I really, really loved his character. Now, it’s like he’s entirely different and it’s not even in an interesting or mysterious way—it’s just plain annoying and upsetting. Yes, I feel strongly about this. lol

Eric & Tara: The guards deliver Tara and Eric, both hooded, to the camp. Eric quickly tells Tara to find Pam before they’re separated.

Jessica, Jason, & Sarah: Jess awakens Jason from his post-coital slumber. Jason invites Jess into his house without hesitation. Jess admits to doing horrible things and needing to be confined where she can’t hurt anyone. Jess is literally cracking up, y’all. She thinks maybe she’s serving the devil in Bill. Jess asks if Jason ever loved her—he did. They share a tender moment together…until Sarah emerges, spewing venom, calling Jess a demon-whore. Jess slams her to the counter, telling her Jason has her blood inside of him, making him unable to resist her; Jess also lets Desperate Sarah know that Jason was probably thinking about her while sexing it up. Just before Jess could bite the bitch, Sarah somehow rescinds Jessica’s invitation to Jason’s house. When she exited, the governor’s troops were there to haul her away. Jason is NOT happy. Sarah called her body a temple, saying Jason has defiled it with a vampire-loving pecker.

NOTE: Um, since when could Sarah rescind Jessica’s invitation from JASON’S home?! I thought only the OWNER of the home could do that. Am I wrong? What did I miss? And, uh, Sarah needs to get hers—she’s ticking me off and she clearly needs some medical attention.

Eric & random vamps in the camp: About four of them are in a circular room, much like the one from Bill’s vision. Blue racquet balls drop into the room. Eric instinctively moves to retrieve one—the others follow his lead. It soon becomes clear whoever catches one or retrieves one wins; those that don’t will be shot one by one. When it’s narrowed down to Eric and a female vamp, two doors slide open, revealing guns. Eric has his and shoots her before she could even aim her gun. Of course, this means Eric wins. He’s given a blue jumpsuit with a number one on it. He heads into a room with a bunch of other male vamps and quite loudly asks where Pam is—none of them know; they recoil from him (Eric is a bit intimidating, after all).

Pam & psychiatrist: Doc asks Pam to lie down. She resists, even after being told there are hidden guns pointed at her. He tells her she is a level one—they are interested in her brain, how she thinks, how she feels (so, same as Eric, then). She’d prefer the vampire-sex room—but that’s for level 3’s. The incentive for cooperating is a member from the Living Donor Program. The doc asks what value Pam places on life, starting with human life—his life. Pam’s answer: “None. Your insignificance to me cannot be underestimated… You are food to me, nothing else…Truth is, I care more about the tuna you ate than I care about you.” Good enough answer—he lets her feed (and he seems to enjoy watching…thinking the doc is a little kinky).

NOTE: Totally thought Pam looked gorgeous in this scene. Her hair and makeup were insanely perfect!

Sookie & Lafayette: Sook tells Laf about Warlow, even admitting to believing the hot vamp-fairy when he said he loves her. She asks Lafayette to help her find her way back to the truth.

Terry & Arlene: Terry invited some guy named Justin to Merlotte’s and asks how his shooting is…then offers to pay Justin to kill him. OMG. Terry has tried to commit suicide, but can’t do it. He fesses up about killing Patrick. Arlene suspects something is up, but isn’t clear on Terry’s intentions. Sad. Justin agrees to kill Terry…but he won’t take his money. Terry doesn’t want to know when it’s coming.

NOTE: Maybe I’m reading too much into things, but it seemed like Terry’s pal, Justin, was just a little too eager to ‘off’ his friend. Aside from the obvious, something isn’t quite right here, and I couldn’t help but worry for Arlene.

Andy, Holly, & surviving fairy daughter: Andy and Holly are watching the fairy daughter sleep. Apparently, she was able to tell Andy that it was Jessica who attacked and killed her sisters; she also revealed that Bill was taking their blood for some unknown purpose. Andy grabs a gun, wanting to go after Bill, but Holly convinces him to stay put—his poor little daughter needs him and he’d never survive Bill. Holly is going to call off the search party—as far as everyone is concerned, the girls went back to their mama. Holly holds a crying Andy in her arms, promising to get him through this.

NOTE: I just LOVE Andy and Holly together. And Andy as a father is an absolute homerun—I just wish more of his daughters had survived.

Sam & Nicole: Sam and Nicole had their sexy fun, but it looks like she is somewhat overwhelmed or regretting what happened.

Jessica & Tara in the camp: Both are wearing blue jumpsuits with a number three on them. They didn’t catch the balls (and finish off the remaining vamp) like Pam and Eric did. Jess is still really, really high on fairy blood. Jess asked if Tara believes in the devil; Tara doesn’t, though her mother did. Jess is wondering if maybe vamps really don’t deserve to live. She’s deep in self-loathing.

Pam & Doc: Pam informs the doc on vampires who nest: the longer they nest, the stronger the bond. However, once they split up the nest, they’ll stake each other in a heartbeat. Thus, it’s not a real bond and they’ll feel no remorse when killing another vamp. The doc asks Pam if she feels remorse when killing another vampire. Pam: “No, I don’t.” She thinks she’s especially unremorseful. Doc: “Except when it comes to your maker.” Pam: “Yeah, that’s a different story.” He pries about her maker—Pam says it doesn’t matter because he’s no longer her maker; he released her. Doc: “Did you have any idea it was coming?” Pam: “None.” Doc: “What’d it feel like?” Pam: “I feel nothing…You humans love your pain, don’t you? You just love being in it…Cry the most at a funeral, you must be the best person there…Your lives are pathetically brief. When vamps say forever they have to mean it—pain is a worthless emotion…they have to move on. For a time her maker was everything to her…it hurt.” But, now, she’s over it…he’s nobody to her. Doc doesn’t believe she’s over the hurt of being released.

Sam & Nicole: Nicole tries to call her folks on a payphone just outside their hotel room, but Sam rushes outside to stop her. He tells her that the wolves would kill her family if she made that call. However, Alcide’s father saw the two of them from a nearby room where he was getting busy with some lady from the backwoods bar.

Jessica & Tara: Their form of a food line is a little mail drop, almost like at a bank drive-through. The guards drop a little bottle of blood for each one. Jess doesn’t want hers, so she offers it to Tara. Unfortunately, several of the female prisoners zoom forth for the blood. Tara shields Jess. One vamp calls the others off—looks like she’s the leader of the female prisoners. She asks what’s wrong with Jess, but Tara protects her, saying she’s just fine. Somehow the leader-vamp thinks Tara and Jess owe her.

NOTE: Loving the protective role Tara has taken on, first for Pam, then Willa, now Jess. I think it shows a real human side can exist, even when being a vampire—it’s a nice contrast to, say, Sarah Newlin or the Governor who are ruthlessly tossing away their humanity to punish vampires.

Willa: She’s a special VIP of the camp, brought to solitary. Though she saw Tara on her way in, the guard said they don’t allow VIP to mix with the general vamps. One of the ego-tripping guards more or less gave Willa a veiled threat that he will get to know her better. Have a feeling Eric will make sure that doesn’t happen.

Jason: Calls Sook and says he messed up with Jess and he’s going to fix it and make it right. I think he’s joining the governor’s troops undercover-like. GO JASON!

Sookie & Lafayette: Lafayette channels Sookie’s parents to find out if Warlow was telling the truth. Sure enough, when she touches Laf’s hand, she sees the memories of her parents: Warlow visited Sook’s parents when she was little, informing them of the marriage contract, telling them what she is; he said he would come back for Sook when she was of age—he will love her and protect her forever. She could live forever. Her father, staunchly against the union (and, I have a feeling, her being a fae, being different), then scooped her up, placed her in the back of the car, and intended to drown Sookie in order to prevent Warlow from marrying her when she got older. It seems Warlow was telling the truth. Sookie was stunned to learn that her parents—her father specifically—tried to kill her. Unfortunately, Daddy Stackhouse possessed Lafayette’s body and captured Sookie, stuffing her into the trunk of Laf’s car.

Warlow, Bill, & the professor who created Tru Blood: Warlow threatens to kill the creator if Bill doesn’t free him (he has the prof. in his grasp). It’s b/c of Billith that Warlow returned to his camp many years ago and murdered all of his fae kin (we see this happen in a flashback). Sookie’s grandfather—then just a small boy—was hiding from Warlow. Warlow heard his cries, saw him hiding, but walked away, allowing him to live. Billith says Warlow didn’t need them—he had her (Lilith). Warlow despises the vampire race—wishes them extinction; wishes Lilith extinction. Flashback: We see Warlow in a dark cave, overlooking a sleeping Lilith. He uses his fairy power to blast open the top of the cave and allows the sun to rain down on Lilith, sending her up in flames.

Sarah, Gov, Steve, Eric: Gov is thrilled they “caught” Eric. Eric says “ F*&! you.” Gov tells Eric he imprisoned his daughter in the camp. Eric is PISSED and stunned he could do that to his own daughter. Sarah says cue the stake. Eric grabs a longish stake from a little compartment—he says give me something to kill. Sarah: “This is the best part.” A door opens…and it’s Pam, also holding a stake. NOOOOOOOOO! Steve Newlin provided the intelligence on Pam being Eric’s progeny. When Eric and Pam just stare at each other, stunned, Sarah says, “Haven’t you seen Gladiator, effing fight.”

NOTE: Oooooh, nothing better happen to Eric or Pam!!!!!!

Lafayette (Sook’s Dad) & Sookie: Laf/Sook’s dad drags her from the trunk to a nearby body of water and forces her head under—she’s screaming, unable to fight.

Thoughts & Highlights:

-Wow, well, where to begin? How about what I’m not liking: Alcide/Sam storyline. It just seems unnecessary. Maybe it’s because of the turn in Alcide’s character, I don’t know.

-JASON is BACK! LOVE that it looks like he’s going to go all badass and infiltrate the camp.

-We know there will be at least ONE big character death rumored to happen next episode, and I think it’s safe to say this episode has set it up to be practically anybody.

Scene of the night: Has to go to Pam with the psychiatrist. She just DELIVERS. Kristen Bauer van Straten’s brilliant line delivery makes you hang on every word. Her technique reminds me a bit of Alan Rickman as Snape…he just brought an extra element to every syllable.  

Line of the night: Pretty much all of Pam’s sequence with the doctor. “None. Your insignificance to me cannot be underestimated.”