Yes, I have a BFF and he's wonderful, like the brother I never had. But my real best friend is my mom. Yesterday's faux-husband incident had us laughing hysterically late last night after the games that we just had to complain about (mainly the Mavericks losing).
My whole life she has said or done things that only happen in movies; things happen to my mom that are just unbelievable--either jaw dropping amazing or seriously embarrassing, but always hilarious.
I inherited the seriously embarrassing, but sometimes hilarious gene. Yeah, not as good, but it keeps life interesting.
My parents and I are so close--they are good, strong, southern people. They've lived their lives doing things the right way...being good to people, even though they haven't always received the same in return. I've seen their hearts break and all I want is to give to them what they have always given me: hope.
When one of my parents isn't well, I fall to pieces. I just cannot imagine my life without them. They are all I have in this world. I want my daddy to walk me down the aisle; I want my mama to see her baby girl in a wedding dress; I want my mama and daddy to be grandparents...they deserve to be.
But with each passing year, I worry I may fail my parents...and fail my heart. Though I know they are proud of me, I feel I owe them more...no, I DO owe them more. And, boy, would they protest if they knew I was thinking this way. They just want me to be happy.
I'm probably not making a bit of sense right now...that's what happens when my heart takes over. Reckon what I'm trying to say is this: I love my parents with all of my heart; they are everything to me.
So, today, when my mama wasn't feeling very well, I couldn't help but wonder if I'm doing the right thing...what if this rather unpopular choice of mine keeps every chance of real love away and my mama never sees me as a bride or a mother? I went through this same thought process earlier in the summer with my daddy.
I begin to think I'm walking down this endless, dark tunnel with no light in sight. I'm panicked.
Then I hear my mama say she's proud of who I am, the choices I've made, and, once again, she gives me hope.
My mom is my BFF too... I so understand you in this post... And it really touched my heart!
ReplyDeletexxoo
Listen to your mom, she knows best. You are not short-changing them or cheating them of anything. They are proud of you and of your choices, accept it and believe it. Easier said than done, I know, but try. And the best way to honor them and give back to them, is to be the best you, you can be and to be happy. Because really, in the end that all they really want. :)
ReplyDeleteYou definitely are NOT throwing away a chance at love. You're making your future relationship that much stronger. Your parents know that and respect you for it. They have a lot to be proud of!
ReplyDeleteSo so sweet! Great post! I'm sure your, your mom's BFF as well!
ReplyDeleteSweetie. You are not letting down your parents by making the choices you are. I am sure they are so proud of your strength and conviction. I know that when the time is right the perfect man for you will show up and you will be SO glad you waited for him. Your parents don't want you to throw away the experience you have been waiting so long for out of some distorted sense of responsibilty to them. Keep being the amazing woman you are...I'm sure that's all they want!
ReplyDeleteYou know my email...use it! :-)
I started writing the same thing that Jewels has written. So, yeah - what Jewels said.
ReplyDeleteNew follower here and excited to see another sports fan!!
ReplyDeletewww.katsplaybook.com
Thank you everyone. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support.
ReplyDelete