My friends have inspired me to start a new blog topic entitled, Things Guys Say. I don't know why it is so abundantly clear to me when my friends' boyfriends are feeding them empty words. They never see it...or they turn a blind eye.
Here, I'm going to reveal as many lying lines men like to feed us in the hope of helping women--young, old, inexperienced, experienced-- recognize when they're getting played. At the very least, maybe these posts will help fine tune the built-in b.s. detector all women have.
The Beginning: George treats Lola like gold for the first two months of their relationship. Lola sleeps with George for the first time on their 3rd month anniversary.
The Middle: George starts treating her poorly thereafter, yet still expecting sex every time they are together. Lola confronts George about his behavior, they fight, and she walks out.
The Hooking Line: "I hate what just happened. I need to see you, please. Come back."
First Red Flag: He needs to see her, hates that they fought, but won't GO to her; he makes her COME to him. Accountability, guys, it's called accountability.
Lola gets back in her car, goes to George, and, upon arriving, finds herself in his warm embrace as he gently strokes her hair.
The Sinker Line: "I hate what happened. I've just been stressed. I haven't been sleeping well. I do care about you...and I'm going to show you how much I care all night."
Lola stayed the night with George.
Second Red Flag: George never actually apologized. Notice how often he said "I." I've been stressed...I haven't been sleeping well...I'm going to show you how much I care. He never once made this about her. Beware of the "I" guy.
Bottom Line: He wanted to get laid. He said as much as necessary to keep the sex around...and it worked. Sorry, but it's true. Guys will fake caring for you, loving you, etc. to get what they want. Some guys can get pretty creative. Look at George: I can't tell you how much Lola valued his "I'll show you I care" statement. It was just a clever way to confuse her heart, while getting what he wanted.
The End: Within a week, George dumped Lola, leaving her confused and brokenhearted.
Keep your ears, eyes, and instincts open...you'll see more than you expected.
You are definitely right on the red flags.. Control is the bottom line.. Also George knows what buttons to push to get his way.. Thank God, I'm not Lola... Also George is a self centered ass who will never have a woman as long as he tries to be in control..Guys who want to control do so because they aren't in control of their ownself.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that you knew Lola.
ReplyDeleteI was just going to ask how you knew George? :-)
ReplyDeleteKalei: Perfect word--control. He wanted it all his way. Sadly, she obliged, truly believing he meant all he said.
ReplyDeleteGeorge--Oops, yeah, uh, sorry--DIFFERENT GEORGE, EVERYONE! DIFFERENT GEORGE. Definitely NOT our blogger George, who is a nice, wonderful guy! ;)
Cinderita--See what happens when I try to pick a name semi-close to the real person? *shakes head*
Totally agree. If a guy messes up you make him come to you. You don't make it any easier on him. He has making up to do and should make the effort.
ReplyDeleteGreat red flags! I am guilty of having fallen for a few of them when I was young, naive and inexperienced!
ReplyDeleteIt really is much easier to see this crap when you're not the one involved. It's scary how women fall for such stupid lines. I know a few women who repeatedly fall for this stuff over and over! Karma will make it keep happening until they get a clue. How sad.
ReplyDeleteI'm saddened that women fall for this constantly, but they do and we are all guilty of shushing that inside feeling knowing it is right!
ReplyDeleteEvery time I try posting a comment on here, it won't let me. I had a good response to this post but it went kabooty. Arugh.
ReplyDeleteShould do a "Things Girls Say" too...
ReplyDelete