Season five, Episode eight
Sam, Luna, & Andy: Luna is a bit cranky. She wants out of the hospital, so she can get her revenge on the haters. Sam, believing Luna had calmed down, headed for the station. Meanwhile, Luna has a bit of a breakdown…and in the process, she shifts into Sam. Remember her family history? The shock of seeing herself as Sam brought on the faints. Lol
Eric, Bill, & The Authority: They return from their massacre all high and happy…apart from Eric. Bill appears to be enjoying the whole ‘Lilith appeared to us’ thing, but Eric seems to talk some sense into him (“We were high as an effin’ kite.”).
Sookie & Jason: Jason stops Sookie from becoming normal. He tells her that had she not been what she is, she never would have known true love with Bill and she never would have been able to talk to Gran on the other side. Jason tells her that her gift may be the one thing they have to finding the vampire who murdered their parents.
Luna/Sam: Luna/Sam sneaks out of the hospital. Though taking the look of a man, she maintains her sassy talk and walk. Lol
Jess & Fangtasia guy: Well, dude convinces Jess to leave with him for his super-tasting blood. My gut tells me this is a hater-moron…
Eric, Bill, & The Authority: While Russell, Steve, Salome, Nora, and the others revel in their ‘amazing’ night, Eric and Bill appear disgusted. Salome orders Steve to have a group of humans gathered and held in the cells. Eric says he’s had enough fun for one night and asks if Bill will leave with him…but Bill stays. Shame on Bill.
Alcide & Were-Woman (whose name is apparently Rikki): My. My. My. Um. Alcide, all growl-y and, well, naked, is having some adult play time with his were-gal. Uh, he asks her to be his girlfriend. Her answer? Maybe. Riiight. I’m thinking her ‘maybe’ translates to ‘Hell, yes.’
Bill & Salome: Salome presents Bill with the mother of a four-month-old child to feed upon. Bill cannot feed on the young mother, having been a father himself in his lifetime. FLASHBACK: Bill flashes back to when he visited his ill daughter. Once she realized he was immortal, she begged for him to turn her…he refused. BACK TO PRESENT: Salome says to refuse to feed is blasphemy. Yep, Bill sinks his fangs into the poor woman.
Note: I want to smack Salome. Honestly, her peer pressure-Lilith crap is getting on my nerves. And Bill…shame on you!
Hoyt & the hater-morons: Just as I suspected, Jessica is silvered and locked in some isolated house. The hater-morons lock Hoyt in a room with Jess until he shoots her with a silver & wooden bullet.
Sookie, Jason, Claude, & Fairies: Sookie and Jason head to the fairy club to find out about these extra powers she holds. Claude thinks he knows a way they can help her…they’ll meet near the bridge where her parents died.
Lafayette: Driving back from his ordeal with Jesus’ grandfather, Laf pulls over, digs in a first aid kit, finds some V, and puts it on his wounded lips (from where they were laced). After they heal up, Laf sees Jesus sitting in the car next to him. He asks Jesus if he’s real. Jesus basically says it doesn’t matter. They hold hands and Laf drives on.
Andy, Sam, & arrested hater-moron (the one Sam tackled in the hospital last episode): Andy leaves Sam alone with the idiot, who, of course, acts all moronic and brave. Really? You’re in there, alone, with a shifter. Yep, Sam shifts into a snake and starts threatening him. Meanwhile, Andy sees Luna/Sam storm into the police station, demanding to see the hater-moron. Luna/Sam heads back to find Sam-Sam, who, at that moment, has dressed and gotten news on the hater-morons’ hideout and Jessica’s capture.
Sookie, Jason, Claude, & Fairies: Using Albert Einstein’s (and Albert was part-fairy, btw) theory, they will utilize waves to help Sookie channel her mother the night of her death. Instantly, she smells her mama’s perfume. Essentially, she feels and sees everything her mother saw/felt the night she died. She sees the vampire attack—he’s wearing a big hat and trench coat. Something happens…Sookie is no longer her mother—she’s the vampire. She feels his desire and hunger for her blood. Claudette shows up, screams to leave the girl alone, and fairy blasts him. End of channel session.
Hoyt & Jessica: Jess asks him to remove the silver. Hoyt wants to know why she doesn’t love him. She says she wanted to love him, even prayed for it to come back, but it never did. Hurt, Hoyt aims the gun at her head. We then see the living room where a hater-moron is watching t.v…and there’s a gunshot. The hater-moron rushes in the room…and gets his neck broken by Jess. Since Jess can’t leave because it’s daytime, Hoyt heads out to find help. Okay, Hoyt, I like ya a little better now.
Lafayette, Arlene, & Holly: Arlene & Holly convince Laf to conduct a fake séance to show Terry that his smoke monster is a figment of his imagination. Laf agrees to do it…for $300. lol
Sam, Jess, Andy, & Luna/Sam: The crew busts into the hater-moron shack to save Jess. Luna/Sam smells a distinctive female scent in the shack—the woman is big and has a bad diet. Luna/Sam then doubles over in pain.
Note: I’m thinking the ring leader of this hater-moron group is Hoyt’s mama.
Sookie, Jason, & Claude: Back at Sookie’s, Claude is freaking a bit—channeling a vampire is a big no-no. Sookie remembers Claudine saying the vampire’s name—Warlo or Warlow.
Tara & Pam: While bartending at Fangtasia, a former high school classmate of Tara’s shows up—she’s a rude, racist bitch. Tara calls her out, but Pam zooms over to scold her child.
Alcide, J.D. & the pack: J.D. changes the rules for the pack master competition—he offers up a young high school track star for them to hunt. Al drops out to save the boy’s life. Unfortunately, J.D. still decides to hunt the poor thing. Al tries to stop him, but J.D. put a beating on our sexy wolf. The hyped-up were takes off after the boy…and Al goes after him.
Note: I really, really don’t like J.D.
Eric & Nora: Eric finds Nora praying to the vile of Lilith’s blood at The Authority. Eric tries to tell her that Lilith doesn’t exist—that Salome chose this path for her. He tells her he saw Godric the same night she saw Lilith. He tries to talk sense into her, but she denounces her maker, saying Godric was a weak, disgusting apologist. Eric zips ahead and chokes Nora, but he doesn’t kill her. She says Lilith will show him the way and leaves Eric standing with tears in his eyes.
Sam & Luna/Sam: Same nurses Luna/Sam, who thinks she’s dying. Luna/Sam shifts back to Luna…and then suffers horrid pain…and pukes.
Pam & Tara: Pam pulls Tara aside to talk about her attitude. She brings her to the basement where the high school bitch is tied up. Tara says she thought Pam was mad. Pam: “You don’t know me that well. My mad face and my happy face are the same.” Pam then glamours the rude bitch into being Tara’s slave—her sole purpose is to feed and worship Tara, her master.
Note: The maker/child relationship between Pam and Tara just keeps getting better and better.
Alcide & J.D.: Al is able to save the boy, but J.D. beats the snot out of Al. Luckily, Martha stops him from killing Al.
Note: Um, J.D. was on V. It wasn’t a fair fight, right? Isn’t that against wolf-law or something? Why wouldn’t HE be disqualified? Ticks me off.
Lafayette, Arlene, Terry, Holly, & Patrick: In an effort to convince Terry that this whole monster thing is just a figment of his imagination, Arlene, Holly, & Lafayette hold a fake séance. There’s just one little problem…the woman Terry & Patrick killed in Iraq shows up and takes hold of Lafayette, just as Marnie did last season. She makes it known that she’ll lift the curse IF: 1. Terry kills Patrick or 2. Patrick kills Terry. Patrick rushes out at this revelation.
Note: This is a very girly observation, but I loved Arlene’s hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. Usually, her hair is so styled, but the simple look really suited her.
Hoyt: While walking along a deserted road, lost, a truck pulls up and Hoyt apparently recognizes the ‘friendly face.’ Although, he/she must not be that friendly, since he/she is holding a gun to Hoyt’s head.
Sookie: While in her bathroom, Sookie sees a spooky mirage of the vampire that murdered her parents. In a Freddy-Krueger-like voice, he says he’s coming for her.
Note: Um, maybe it’s just my frame of mind tonight (seriously happy over Dale Jr. finishing 4th and taking the points lead today), but I didn’t find this uber-vamp very scary at all. Like Sookie couldn’t fairy-blast his fanged butt? Come on.
Eric, Bill, Salome, Nora, Russell, & The Authority: Our group of Lilith followers holds a meeting to plan their next move. Russell and Steve are flirting it up, not really paying attention to Salome. Bill comes up with the idea that they should blow up True Blood factories—if they remove the ‘safe’ food source, mainstreamer vampires will turn to feeding on humans. Eric turns to Bill and asks, “What are you doing?” Bill: “Evolving.”
Note: Okay, who thinks Bill is really ‘evolving?’ Personally, I have to think he has some master plan to take down Salome and crew (at least, I hope so). Although, I was kind of hoping this would be Eric’s time to save the day. We shall see…
Some thoughts: I still think Russell is playing Salome. Just the fact that he wasn’t paying her a bit of attention at the meeting tells me he’s up to something.
AND, who do we think this Warlo/Warlow character is? When he appeared to Sookie in that misty way, I immediately thought, “Hmm, not really a vampire thing to do.” If you’ve read the books, you know who really killed Sookie’s parents. I’m wondering if maybe Warlo/Warlow isn’t a fairy-turned-vampire, perhaps?? How did Claudine know him by name? What do you think?