Friday, July 29, 2011

Er, huh? What? Oh...okay.

Well, this has been disappointing.  I recently found out this man I know is a L.I.A.R. (Lazy Inconsiderate Arrogant Rot).  I came up with that on a whim.  This man is a piece of work, let me tell you.  The whole thing has kind-of sent my brain into information overload.

So, what to write? Random tidbits? Um , yeah, okay.

Well, I mistakenly watched The Phantom of the Opera.  *insert tears and stuffy nose* When they sing All I Ask of You...well, just hand me the Kleenex 'cause I'm gone.  Definitely a film to watch solo.

Oh, I saw two earwigs getting it on.  At least, I think that's what they were doing.  Two bugs were having sex on my porch railing.  I mean, bugs? Really? The whole world is just get-it-on-central! Like I really needed a reminder in the form of bugs

I think my teeth are claustrophobic.  A single bristle popped off of my toothbrush and practically cemented itself in between my teeth.  Let me tell you, this is not a fun experience.  It hurt like all heck! As the discomfort increased, so did the panic.  It took far too long to dislodge the dang thing.  Fair warning--have floss and tweezers handy.

So, this weekend is the Brickyard.  I've got my trusty new AMP t-shirt (sans Dale's name and number as to avoid any possibility of a jinx) ready to go.  No doubt he'll give it his all--he always does.  Lady Luck better back off or I'll...I'll...well, I'll shake my fist at her and call her a name! *yeah, that's so not intimidating*

Did you hear the drumbeat for HBO (or equivalent) to make a series out of Harry Potter? I read an article where someone thought it would be cool to do a Game of Thrones with Harry and explore more of the books than the films did.  It seems to be gaining ground with fans.  What do you think?  Good idea?   Gotta tell you, I'd watch.

I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend!!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

True Blood Tuesday: Me and the Devil

Season 4, episode 5.

Tommy, Sam, & Ick Family: Wow. Well, two of my least favorite characters were killed off in the first couple of minutes.  Tommy bludgeoned Joe Lee to death and then accidentally struck his mom, killing her instantly.  Sam decides to help Tommy hide the bodies of their parents. While tossing their bodies into a swamp, Tommy says he’s going to hell.  Sam assures him he won’t go to hell if the killing was in self-defense or in the course of war. He then confesses his crimes to Tommy (the time he killed those two scam artists for stealing his money).  I guess it was a bonding moment for them.  I’m still not convinced it will make Tommy any less annoying. 

Note: Now, would the concept of Skinwalkers apply to Tommy and his mom??

Arlene & Terry: Reverend Daniels and his new wife, Tara’s mom, arrive at Arlene and Terry’s house to pull a little “this house is clean” Poltergeist moment.  Given their comical technique, I’m thinking it didn’t work.  Arlene and Terry later share an intimate moment…while some matches light off on their own. Yeah, it didn’t work.

Jessica, Hoyt, & Jason: After getting Jason to their house, Hoyt is appreciative to Jess for saving his best friend, to which she replies, “It’s all in the wrist.” Vampire humor—gotta love it.  Jess was acting really odd and a bit distant.  Glamour guilt, maybe?  Now, we all know V blood creates sexual fantasies, but this one has got to take number one on the weirdness scale.  Jason’s dream had Jess doing a little, ahem, riding, while calling Hoyt’s name over and over. Now, I think Jess ends up morphing into Hoyt in his dream, and it was Hoyt who kept going on top of Jason.  I’m a little confused.  As Jason said when he woke up, “Oh my gravy.”

Tara, Lafayette, Jesus, and Marnie: Marnie is getting on my nerves.  Tara, Lafayette, and Jesus have had it with Marnie and the spirit witch-goddess possessing her.  Lafayette agrees to go with Jesus to see his grandfather. We won’t mention the flashback goat scene.  Tara decides to go back to New Orleans and calls her girlfriend.  Uh-oh.  Tara’s girlfriend is ticked—she found letters with the name “Tara” on them. Yikes.  It’s time to come clean, Tara.

Sookie & Eric, Part I: Godric!!!! Um…Godric?  He's so not the gentle, caring Godric we remember from Season 2. Godric tells Eric he’s a creature of death, not love, and convinces him to drink from Sookie.  Ah! It’s a dream. Phew! Just as an aside…why can’t Eric sleep in the nude?  Awww, Eric went to Sookie for comfort from his bad dream.  Cuteness!  More awws as Eric rests his teary little head on her lap and Sookie strokes his hair.  He asks to sleep in her bed until dawn, to which she agrees.  He takes her hand in his, wraps her arm around him, and they spoon. One, two, three…Awwwww!

Bill & Portia: Ew! Portia is still hot for her great granddaddy!!! Okay, that’s not right. She just planted a big kiss on Bill and rattled off a ton of laws justifying their sexual relationship.  Yuck!  Darlin’, have some respect for yourself!!! Well, clearly she’s not giving up, so Bill had to glamour her away by replacing her sexual attraction to him with straight up fear. That worked.

Bill & Pam, Part I: “You eff with my face, it’s time to die.” Even with a rotting face, Pam rocks. Bill tells her his hands are tied because Marnie is human and it’s against AVL policy to kill humans.

Sookie & Marnie: Sookie channels her inner Nancy Drew and decides to “get a reading” from Marnie.  After convincing Marnie to give her a reading (note to self: if you want a reading after hours, just say Sabrina and Charmed were your favorite shows growing up.  I actually liked Charmed a lot), Sookie realizes Marnie hears her Gran.  Marnie tells her that Gran wants Sookie to look after Jason.  She also cautions her not to give her heart to the new man in her life because the situation is only temporary.  Somewhere between her warning about Eric and a new warning about Marnie, Sookie listens in on the witch’s mind and actually hears her Gran talking directly to her.  Gran tells her the woman before her is dangerous and yells at Sook to run away. Sookie, of course, runs, leaving Marnie perplexed. 

Tara & Sookie: Tara finally reveals her relationship to Sookie.  It was a nice bff moment…until Eric popped out from his lair and all hell breaks loose.  While Tara freaks, Sookie defends Eric and upsets her best friend in the process.  Tara calls her a hypocrite and takes off. 

Marnie & Bill: Thanks to his little witch-spy, Bill captures Marnie.  While sitting in one of Bill’s high-tech cells, Marnie mentally time travels to 1610 where the spirit goddess and other prisoner witches were chanting in a dungeon.  Two religious figures entered their dungeon and proceeded to feed on one of the witches.  Yep, they were vampires.  When Marnie “returned,” Bill glamoured her for answers, but found nothing useful.  Marnie is merely a vessel for this spirit-goddess-woman of the past. 

Alcide: Marcus, the pack-master of Shreveport, shows up on Al’s doorstep, angry that he hasn’t registered with the pack.  Al, cool, calm, and sexy, says, “I’m currently exploring free agency.”

Note: Gotta love a dreamy werewolf who references sports. Sigh.

Sookie & Eric, Part II: Eric and Sook had a little heart-to-heart on the couch, where Eric told her she has a beautiful light and he couldn’t bear it if he snuffed that out.  So, he leaves.  Eric doesn’t get very far when Sookie runs outside and asks him not to go.  As he walks back to her, she holds her arms out for him.  He returns to her arms and…THEY KISS!!!! YES!!!  It was the real deal. 

Note: Loved the music during this scene.

Bill & Pam, Part II: Bill calls a meeting with the remaining Louisiana sheriffs to address the witch problem.  Here, we learn a little more about this spirit goddess.  In 1610, a sorceress named Antonia used necromancy to pull all vampires within twenty miles from their sleep and into the daylight.  The all burned.  The sheriffs want to kill Marnie, but it would mean going against the AVL.  In Pam’s frustration, she reveals that Eric lost his memory.  Infuriated, Bill demands she tell him where Eric is hiding…which she does.  Crap.  There goes Bill.  Dang.

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Good Old Crush

Do you ever miss having a crush? In junior high and high school, crushes seemed like the most complicated things in the world.  The inevitable “do you think he likes me?” question took on a life of its own with tentacles that grabbed at each brain cell and prevented you from ever thinking clearly again—and certainly not about math. 

In class, you’d get lost staring at the lone off-color florescent light.  You analyzed every little thing he said, eager to find one small sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he liked you.  Helping you open your locker meant he cared.  Walking to you to class meant he liked you.  Giving you his pen because yours ran out of ink meant he kind-of really liked you.  And making sure he saw you before homeroom meant you were heading for young love.  Hey, we were young and had stars in our eyes.

From Monday through Wednesday, you hoped he would ask you out (because everyone knew a guy didn’t usually ask you out for Friday or Saturday past Wednesday).  You dreamed of how he would ask you out, pictured your first date, and fantasized about the first kiss.  Walking down the hall hand-in-hand was as big a deal as world peace.  And, of course, visions of the “I love you” moment were soon to follow. 

Then Wednesday comes and goes with no call, no note, and no date.  A little sad, you gathered yourself up and looked forward to next week, then the next week after that, and the week after that.  Little did you know the weeks would pass as quietly and regularly as the seasons.  You were a good girl.  But, the passing weeks didn’t really matter because you had hope—it kept you going.

It was commonplace for girls to talk on the phone for hours and analyze the dreaded "does he like me" question.  My friends found the dwelling part both necessary and an annoying obsession, like watching a movie and having to say the lines before they happen.  I was their sounding board and I never minded--to me, they weren't obsessing...they were hoping. 

For me, it was the wondering that kept me company.  I guess it filled a void in a way. It was like picturing how you would have your life be, if you could—like you’re writing a story and you’re the main character.  

The only baggage you had involved deciding on what to wear, wanting a boyfriend, going on a date, or getting asked to a dance.  And those little flavored roller-ball lip glosses made you feel like the sexiest girl in school.  I had the strawberry flavored one.  

Life was simple, even though it felt impossibly complex.  Back then, the boys hoped for sex.  As you get older, men expect it, and soon.  

Sometimes, I just miss the simplicity of a crush that goes absolutely nowhere.  

Friday, July 22, 2011

Harry Potter's Alternate Ending?!?!

Greg Palast, an investigative journalist, claims J.K. Rowling told him of a rather interesting alternate ending for her beloved Harry Potter series.  He revealed this ending on his website (see link below).

Here are the highlights:

* The climactic showdown would have taken place in the Forbidden Forest when Harry makes the journey to face Voldemort. 

* Rather than Harry's parents, Lupin, and Sirius walking him to his fate, Tom Riddle's parents appear as his protective, ghostly guides. 

* Meanwhile, Voldemort found a way to, in essence, collect hundreds of Dementor's kisses within his wand.  Once unleashed, the power of the kiss would forever freeze Harry in place; he would be a cold reminder of Harry's defeat and Voldemort's ultimate triumph. 

* Voldemort becomes enraged when he sees the spirits of his parents and immediately sends his spell hurling towards a defenseless Harry. 

* Voldemort's ghostly parents soar towards their son. He begins to grow younger and younger, until he becomes a little child once more. 

* The curse struck Harry's scar; excruciating pain ensued before the curse turned back towards its sender. As the curse neared, Voldemort's parents placed their arms lovingly around their son. Now, forever more, there would be a monument to three souls: A young Tom Riddle, his protective father, and his loving mother.

Harry Potter, 2130:

* On his 150th birthday, Headmaster Potter knew he would soon fill the empty picture frame alongside Dumbledore and headmistresses McGonagall and Chang. 

* Rather than growing old, Ginny transformed into a bird of paradise (and, yes, she can talk).

* After the Dementors escaped Voldemort's spell, the existence of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was erased from everyone's memory...except Albus Dumbledore's portrait-self and Harry Potter.  No one even wondered about the little entombed family any longer. 

* Before Harry attended his 150th birthday celebration, he decided to keep a watchful eye on his great, great grandson. 

* Baby Tom was happily playing with a chocolate frog when he exploded in a fit of rage and crushed the candy frog.  Harry watched, knowing the wizarding world would face dark times once more. 

So, there you have it! Personally, I'm glad she went with the one we have.  This one certainly held my attention and I can totally see Harry as a future headmaster of Hogwarts, but I'm not sure I can completely gel with the Riddle clan being this loving, happy family, given their backgrounds.  Bird Ginny didn't quite feel right to me, either.

If this indeed was an alternate ending, what do y'all think?

You can read the full write up on Mr. Palast's site here: Harry Potter, Jo's Other Ending.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Is Marriage Obsolete?

To start, I believe in fate, love, romance, and all the things some people like to explain away. But, I can't say in all honesty that certain things today don't create some sort of doubt in my mind; I've just gotten very good at pushing the questions away, at least for a time. 

Recently, I saw a poll showing how roughly 60% of people now believe marriage is becoming obsolete. 

Then, while contemplating an excursion in online dating, I found an article where the founder of e-Harmony basically says we may no longer need marriage.  Of course, he does go on to say that marriage can be a beautiful, fulfilling experience if people took the time to select a marriage partner. This makes sense, given how many people we see jumping into marriage at the drop of a dime, only to hop right back out in the not-so-distant future. 

Do I need to rethink this marriage thing? Could I?

I get that it's just a piece of paper and it shouldn't matter when it comes to love.  But, well, I just can't accept that...not for me.  Maybe I'm too old-fashioned for my own good because I still believe in true love and marriage. I know the world has changed; I understand the dynamics of relationships have changed.  And I'm acutely aware that I was, in all likelihood, born in the wrong era.  Still, I love believing in what doesn't seem possible. 

Here's the question burning my brain cells:  If the majority of the world views marriage as wholly unnecessary, how does someone like me ever hope to find a man in this great big cynical world who still believes in a little thing called vows?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Dear Road Fates

I have two very small requests, one for me and one for Dale Earnhardt Jr. 

For Dale: Please let my brand new AMP t-shirt bring good luck to Dale Jr. Lately, Lady Luck (a.k.a. the evil bitch) has been covering his lucky horseshoe with mold and it’s tickin’ me off. 

When I saw this lonely little AMP top on a discount table, I thought, “Hey, maybe it will bring him some luck.”  It doesn’t have Dale or his number on it, so I figure it doesn’t fall into the jinx category. 

Any day you fates feel like kickin’ Lady Luck into gear for the 88 would be absolutely fantastic.  

For Me: The next time I stumble off the sidewalk like an idiot with my AMP t-shirt in-hand, please don't let me find an attractive man parked next to my car with several Kyle Busch stickers proudly displayed in his back window (Kyle drives the 18 in NASCAR and probably gets the most boos at every race; Dale, of course, is the most popular and typically gets the most cheers).  So not ideal.  Ironic, yes, but not ideal.  

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

True Blood Tuesday: I'm Alive and On Fire *SPOILERS*

Season 4, Episode 4.                         
Eric & Sookie, Part I: Ha! It seems Eric drank too much of Claudine’s fairy blood because now he’s just a ’lil bit drunk.  Tipsy and horny, Eric wanted some more red fairy-scotch from Sook, but settled for pinching a little bum cheek and squeezing her—as he put it—“beautiful butt.”  Not wanting to go inside, Eric ran away…still blood-drunk.

Note: I cannot get enough of cute, silly, sweet Eric.

Jason & Crystal: Well, it seems ghost daddy was certainly living up to his role as panther-maker—poor Jason had those panther-women riding him like Zorro, one after the other.  Once the next panther-woman was done, she sent in Becky, the underage panther girl.  The old guy ordered Becky to become pregnant by their “ghost daddy.” Jason found out she was a virgin and said her first time should be something special and not because someone is forcing her.  She agrees and cuts him free. 

Jason escapes!!! Yay! Now, he just has to get away from Felton, who is hot on his trail.  No worries, though—Jason, pointy stick in-hand, waited in a tree for panther-Felton, jumped him, and stabbed him to death.  Crystal showed up in panther form not two seconds later, transformed, and was happy as a clam that Felton was dead.  However, she’s seriously delusional, thinking Jason would want to stay around and be ghost daddy to their clan.  Jason basically told her he never wanted to see her again and took off.

Jessica & Hoyt: This episode was practically Jess/Hoyt free. Boo! They had one scene late in the episode where they saw Jason passed out on the side of the road and Jess fed him her blood. 

Note: Now, what will vampire blood do to a panther-bitten former V-addict???

Bill & Nan: Nan doesn’t believe the witches are a problem, and she certainly doesn’t think they are true necromancers. She orders Bill to find Eric and warns him not to harm any humans in the process or it’ll be his butt.  (At this point, I just really wanted to see Bill’s butt). 

Note: Nan said the last threat of necromancy was over 400 years ago during the Spanish massacre where there was one single powerful witch with a reason to go after vampires.  Now, could this be the spirit-woman we saw watching Marnie at the end of the last episode? I’m thinking it is!

Eric, Sookie, & Alcide: Sook called in reinforcements in the form of one steaming hot werewolf.  Alcide arrived at Sookie’s and transformed to help pick up Eric’s scent. *Ah, very nice shirtless shots here…why must they turn the camera away at just the wrong moment?* They found Eric happily swimming in a sun-drenched pond.  Were-Alcide transformed to naked, um, human-Alcide and Eric did NOT like Al standing near Sookie—he was prepared to fight.  Ooooh, some nice naked (of course we don’t see anything, but a little bum) Alcide-Eric tough guy stuff going on here.  (Eric: “You stinking dog!” Alcide: “Take a shot you dumb sh*& fanger!).  Sookie calms them down and Eric starts feeling sick as the effectiveness of Claudine’s blood begins to wear off.  Sook covers Eric with a blanket and they get him back to his built-in cubby.  Feeling increasingly sick, Eric asks Sookie to stay with him, but she sweetly says she has human stuff to do.

Alcide & Debbie: Despite her words, I think Debbie was a little miffed Al went to help Sook wrangle a vamp.  Now, whether she was jealous of Sookie or the fact that he was near vampire blood, I don’t know.  All I know is I don’t trust her for a second and Al deserves way better (of course, I may still be mesmerized by the man’s abs and bum).

Bill & Portia: Bill meets Portia and Andy’s very old fashioned, wealthy grandma.  Andy acts all twitchy and quickly leaves for “work.” Grandma is certain he’s drinking again (well, she’s partially right).  Having worked his charm, Bill takes a look at some old genealogy of her family and, to Bill’s horror, discovers that Portia is his great-great-great-great granddaughter. Bill, ya slept with your great granddaughter.  Um, ewy.

Luna & Sam: Sam calls on Luna and discovers she has a little girl named Emma.  He is amazing around Emma, but Luna says she must be careful—her ex is a jealous werewolf (were-stalker, more like, considering he still watches her).  Sam isn’t intimidated. Love this couple!!!

Arlene & Terry: Terry was talking to little maybe-devil-baby, saying how he’s his daddy, etc. Apparently, this didn’t sit well with something because when Terry leaves to attend to the laundry, the phrase “Baby Not Yours” appears on their living room wall in red marker.  Maybe-baby was holding a red marker.  Oh, dear.

Tommy & Melinda: So, Tommy heads off to meet up with his mom, who tells him she has left Joe Lee.  Tommy is elated she finally left the drunken creep, especially after learning that he forced her back into dog fighting.  Well, it was all a ruse to force Tommy back into fighting.  Joe Lee is still very much present and disgusting as ever.

Sookie & Eric, Part II: Eric is sad about not being able to go in the sun again and about not seeing the sunlight in Sookie’s hair (awww!).  Eric wants to kiss Sookie, saying she would be happy if she would kiss him.  Sookie refused, but only slightly.  They looked in each other’s eyes, leaned closer, and…Bill shows up at her door.  Dang it, Bill! They were gonna kiss!!!

Bill is there to find Eric, but Sookie tells him Eric left.  Bill said he will personally search her house, but Sookie stops him, saying, “…have I ever lied to you?” He stops just shy of going inside, recognizing that fact.   Oh, dear.  Sookie, you have now lied to Bill…and I’m glad. 

Layfayette, Jesus, Tara, & Marnie: Marnie has a dream about the “goddess” (the woman who did the spell on Eric).  Marnie is basically “in” her dream, watching the woman being burned alive.  When the goddess starts to chant, Marnie begins chanting with her, staring into her eyes.  When Marnie awakens, there are flames burning in her eyes. 

Lafayette, Jesus, and Tara try to get Marnie to reverse the spell on Eric, but she has no idea, since it was the goddess who cast the spell initially.  After calling the goddess for the spell, a book mysteriously knocks over, revealing the counter spell. 

Pam shows up for the nighttime reversal, but grows impatient and says, “This is b.s.” Bad move, Pam.  Marnie channels the goddess (or the goddess channels Marnie) and turns Pam into a partially rotting corpse—literally, her face began rotting and peeling. Poor Pam…this is going to piss her off big time.