Thursday, December 29, 2011

Truth Is Thursday!

Truth Is: I don't like when Christmas ends. It's just so depressing. I mean, what do we have to look forward to, holiday-wise?

*New Year's Eve? Eh. A digit changes. Shock. (Okay, okay, so it is kind-of a festive, hope-filled evening. Reckon if I actually had a good NYE, I'd think of it like I do Christmas...but until then, eh). 

*Vomit, er, Valentine's Day? Ooh, yeah, can't wait for the manufactured faux-holiday that tosses singles the middle finger. It's such a Christmas wannabe. Barf.

* St. Patrick's Day? Not bad. I mean, I like luck and four leaf clovers and leprechauns (the cute kind...not the creepy kind). Still, it doesn't have the same magical feeling (could change if leprechauns flew around, sprinkling gold a la the Quidditch World Cup).  ;)

* Easter? Bunnies and baskets and lots of pastel colors and Cadbury Eggs. Ooh, I quite like this one. ;)

So, in conclusion, Cadbury Eggs make all things better. 

Truth Is: One of the best things about the holidays is indulging. Eat without guilt.  Drink soda without guilt. Snack without guilt. Exercise? Nah, not the routine stuff, anyway. I stick with fun, like dancing (believe me, it works you like there's no tomorrow...but it's FUN).

Truth Is: The guilt-free indulging lasts through the Bowl games. Why, you ask? Um, because Mama said so, and you know she's always right. Who am I to question Mom? *sipping Dr. Pepper*

Truth Is: My local Christmas music station stopped playing holiday tunes immediately after Christmas. Now, I know this seems pretty par for the course.  However, in years past they played carols straight through New Year's.  People loved it. 

They didn't this year. Butts.

It's okay, though, because I have my Bing-a-ling White Christmas CD...


...I have been blasting The Zac Brown Band as well. Love them.

Truth Is: Drum roll, please--During both the Christmas Eve Cowboys' loss and the Christmas Day Mavs' loss, I did NOT swear once, not even a partial swear. So proud. Of course, I did have soda on standby and promptly turned to it whenever I felt the urge to drop a few colorful metaphors.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

No, It Doesn't Mean Love

Saddest day of the year: December 26th. I miss Christmas. What can I say? I'm a holiday person and I feel really sad when it ends. But it was a wonderful, wonderful Christmas that I wish I could rewind! I hope everyone had the best Christmas imaginable!

I have so much to share--including a truly mortifying me moment on Christmas day. *shakes head*

But, for now, I just wanted to check in and, well, basically gripe.  I'm sorry in advance.

Gripe #1: Romo injured.

I know I run hot and cold when it comes to Romo, but an injury to his hand could have been avoided.  Cowboys lost what turned out to be a meaningless Christmas Eve game. Not great, but not long as his hand is okay, which they *think* it will be. The big showdown will be this weekend in New York. Winner takes all. Puke.

Gripe #2:  Idiot people who claim to know basketball, but don't.

Mavs. Sigh. Lost. Bad. Two nights in a row. Very bad.  Here's the thing: they are not the same team as last year's championship group; they have new players now. Everyone who knows basketball understands it will take time for the team to mesh, and without any real preseason, it's going to take a while.

Still, immediately following the Christmas loss to Miami, you see a headline calling the Mavericks' championship a fluke, a claim which, according to the "sports writer," was substantiated by the way the Heat defeated the Mavs in the first game of the season.

Honestly, how asinine do you have to be? The Miami Heat have the same team they had last year, so of course they're going to be good; the Mavs are, essentially, a new team and will need time to come together as a group.

As for calling their championship a fluke: Go on, say it if it makes you feel better.  Mavs' fans will just sit back and smile...with our Championship team, trophy, and banner. 

Gripe #3: Saying Merry Christmas does not mean "I Love You."

...nor does it mean any of the following:

* I want to have your baby

* Will you marry me?

* I have a crush on you

* You are my soul mate.

Merry Christmas simply means...wait for it...MERRY CHRISTMAS, Happy Holidays, Joy to the world, and all those good holly jolly, peace on earth things.

Oh, and to the men (believe me, there are a few) who think if they say Merry Christmas the women will somehow take it to mean you love them, want to marry them, and want them to have your baby...please, get over yourselves.

Okay, done griping now.

Sorry for that.

Feel much better though.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas Fun Facts Friday!

Well, here we have our last set of Christmas Fun Facts before Santa boards his sleigh to bring presents and cheer tomorrow night!

1. The feast of St. Nicholas Day is celebrated on December 6th.

2. Candles were placed on trees before electric lights were invented. Um, I'd be afraid of the fire hazard!

3. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer almost had a different name! In fact, Rollo and Reginald topped the list before Robert L. May decided on Rudolph. Hmm. Rollo/Reginald the Red-Nosed Reindeer just doesn't have the same ring to it.

4. What we know as 'Twas the Night Before Christmas has a very different title.  The original poem is titled An Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas or, simply, A Visit from St. Nicholas. 

5. When the screenplay for Elf first emerged in 1993, Jim Carrey was cast in the lead!

6. On December 24th, 1926, the first ever singing jingle premiered on the radio.  What was the commercial for? Wheaties!

7.  Thomas Edison's business assistant, Edward Johnson, is credited with inventing the first string of Christmas tree lights in 1882.

8.  It is tradition in Sweden for the oldest daughter to dress in white, wear a crown of lighted candles, and awaken her parents by singing Santa Lucia

9. Christmas tree angels were introduced in the 1850s.

10. In Italy, children place shoes by the door before Epiphany and the next morning they awaken to find presents!

11. In Greek culture, kissing under the mistletoe was interpreted as a promise to marry your mate.

And finally...

12. What sports-loving blogger will likely have to resort to one of the following to keep from swearing when her Cowboys battle the Eagles on Christmas Eve and Mavericks face-off against the Heat on Christmas Day: a.) shoving her mouth with cookies, b.) placing a strip of tape over her mouth, c.) sticking a bow on mouth, or d.) all of the above?  Yep, that would be me, The Frisky Virgin. Should be interesting.

Happy Holidays, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah and...


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Truth Is Thursday! Christmas-style!

Truth Is: Twinkle lights hate me. I was trying to string some over the mantle last night and they kept falling off. We're talking Groundhog Day stuff here. Finally did conquer them. *no twinkle lights were harmed in the process*

Truth Is: I'm convinced there are certain people in this world who thrive on drama. Give them a peaceful, stress-free life and they'll be in hell until they can stir up some drama.

Truth Is: I have all my wrapping done...BEFORE Christmas Eve. Just kiss me under the mistletoe and call me Snowy Elf because this is quite an accomplishment for me.

Truth Is: Mom is always saying, "When you bring a hairy leg around..." Yep. Hairy Leg = her way of describing boyfriends. Please, future Man, don't be offended.  Have I mentioned we're a family of characters?

Truth Is: Um, finally told Dad about the broken hose-thing.  He had to try really hard to keep from laughing.

Dad: "Why wouldn't you tell me?"

Me: "Well, after the broken train with oozing battery gunk and the ridiculously loud buzzing broken ornament, I didn't think you'd be too thrilled at a broken vacuum-hose-thing."

Dad, unable to hide the smirk: "Where are the pieces?"

Me: "Follow me. They're just there." I picked them up and coyly held one piece in each hand.

Dad, now fully grinning: "It's fixable. Not a problem. Now, watch here, so you know how to fix it the next time you break it."

Ugh. He knows me so well.

Dad, fixing the hose thing: "It's easy. All you do is screw it in."

Ah. Well. Therein lies the problem. The last thing I would have thought to do was screw it.

I didn't say this out loud.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Holiday Wishes for an Asshat

Some men are like the abominable snowman in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer--mean, arrogant, and slightly stupid...until you play on said stupidity and yank out all of their teeth.  Only then will they finally see how far up their own anus they've been.

Consider the following my cosmic attempt at tooth extraction of a truly first class asshat.  And, since it's Christmas, this shall be done in fine holiday style, complete with iconic movie references. 

Holiday Wishes for an Asshat:

While in NYC, I wish for you to hit on a Rockette, who will see through your inflated ego and promptly high-kick your butt to 34th street, where you will ask Santa for a pair of balls.

After a good stare-down, Santa sarcastically does the "Ho-Ho-Ho," before shoving you down a nearby slide, which will deliver you to a grand, empty home in Chicago...empty apart from an eight-year-old boy.

Convinced you're a burglar, the boy will put one heck of a hurting on you, equipped with burning door handles, blow torches, and flying paint cans, one of which will knock you unconscious.

When you awaken, you find yourself under a chair in the form of a cat with a string of Christmas lights in your mouth. The ghost of Christmas future indicates a future as pitiful as this, should you continue your jackassy ways.  And just to make sure you get the point, the homeowner plugs in the lights and POUF! Your fried kitty self is dumped with the chair next to the gutter where Cousin Eddie emptied the full shi*!er. 

What a sad, smelly way to go.

Sweaty and panicked, you wake up and vow to hang up your asshat forever. 

The end. 

The beginning.

So, if you have a fellow asshat in your life (male or female), do them a favor by wishing them a cosmic tooth extraction. 'Tis the season, after all. 


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Nothing Like A Little Frosting

Well, so much for catching up on blogs over the weekend. Slowly, but surely, I’ll catch up. Hate when I fall behind on reading.

When Mom and I get going on a topic, we tend to resemble Lucy and Ethel (of I Love Lucy).  This weekend was no exception.

During the holidays, Mom’s kitchen most closely resembles what you would envision Mrs. Santa’s cooking domain to look like: cookies, candies, cakes, and, on this particular weekend, cupcakes.

There were only a few cupcakes left (Dad inhaled them, very bad) when Mom said to grab one while I could.

The cupcake had the cutest Frosty the Snowman ornament adorning the icing. Except it wasn’t an ornament. Oh, no.  It was a ring. Now, this might not seem like much, but with literally everyone, everywhere getting engaged, it’s a little…ironic. 

This is where Lucy and Ethel took over.

Me: “It’s a ring.”

Mom: “Fine catch.”

Me, not missing a beat: “Isn’t it beautiful,” I said, slipping it on my left ring finger. “So lucky.”

Mom: “There are many benefits to marrying a snowman.  He’ll never forget your birthday.”

Me: “Hell, he’ll think my birthday is everyday—could be beneficial in the present department—and I’ll never appear to age.”  Pause. “If he ticks me off, all I have to do is take off the hat and hide it.”

Mom: “Or stick him in a greenhouse.”

Me: “I’ll always have an ‘in’ with Santa.”

Mom: “The best part?  He goes away at least nine months out of the year. Honey, it’s a dream marriage.”

Laughter-snorts followed.

Behold my lovely ring—note the delicate blue and pink plastic. Bit narcissistic that he had to have his face on said ring, but, you know, you make concessions. ;)

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Christmas Fun Facts Friday...On Saturday!

Here's the next batch of Christmas Fun Facts that appear on my television holiday music station!

1. The first Hot Wheels appeared in 1968. Car Models included the Corvette, Mustang, and Firebird.

2. BMX bikes were the hottest selling gifts in 1982.

3. "Toy" comes from the old English word for "tool."

4. Who was almost cast in the role of Ralphie's potty-mouthed father in A Christmas Story? Jack Nicholson!

5. In Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, Rudolph has his antlers through the winter. In reality, only the females keep their antlers in the winter.

6.  The National Christmas Tree Association has given a tree to every president since 1966.

7.  Early Christmas trees were actually hung upside down from the ceiling! Um, can you imagine the mess?

8.  Jingle Bells a Thanksgiving song?! Apparently so! The iconic Christmas song was originally written to celebrate Thanksgiving in 1857.

9.  Italians start Christmas on December 17th.  A date they refer to as Novena.

10. Hyvaa Joulua means "Merry Christmas" in Finnish!

11.  Did you know there was a ban on Christmas in England? Many people celebrated Christmas in secret until the ban was repealed in 1660.

12. Japan once banned Hula Hoops because they thought the hip rotating was indecent. 

Hope you enjoyed this batch! More to come!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Truth Is Thursday...On Friday.

Truth Is: Stress was the main ingredient this week. It's like everything lands on your shoulders all at once.

Truth Is: Last weekend was traditional decorating time with the family! I took care of the family room, while Mom was in the kitchen setting up a wrapping station and Dad was hanging stuff around her (like fun Christmas signs and wreaths).  All was fairly quiet, apart from the occasional giggle or Mom telling Dad where to hang stuff.  Next thing I know, both Mom and Dad start singing like two holly jolly Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas. We're talking duet.  It was the most adorable thing--I only wish I could have recorded it. 

Truth Is: Fate is trying to put me on Santa's Naughty List indefinitely. You know how I can kind-of, sort-of have a potty mouth while watching sports. Lord help me I try, but when those referees cut loose, so does my mouth.

Christmas Day...the holiest day of the year...and the Dallas Mavericks will play the Miami Heat.  Really? Christmas Day? Really? Have you ANY idea how badly I'm going to have to bite my tongue? Sigh. Having said that, GO MAVS!!!! SO happy to have them back!

Truth Is: Ah, well, while helping my parents decorate I sort-of had one mishap after the other.

1. The little train set that sits by the fireplace EVERY year might be ruined because I forgot to remove the battery. Yeah. When I removed it from the box, a blue goop oozed into my hand.

Brought it to Dad to fix.

Me to Dad: "Bet you never thought you'd still be tinkering with batteries and toys..."

Dad, with a chuckle: "Not at this stage in the game."

Me, a little embarrassed: "Well, it has to be kind-of...refreshing."

Dad began belly laughing.

2. Removed a little musical ornament that plays It's A Small World, pressed the button, song.  But, I did get an incredibly loud, non-stop buzzing sound.

Brought it to Dad to fix.

Me: "Um, it won't stop buzzing."

Dad just looked at me. He was still working on trying to get the battery out of the train. Mom eventually shoved something up under the bottom of it and stopped the thing from making any sound...possibly forever.

3. While trying to vacuum the area around the tree, the hose thing detached from the suck-part in, it broke. Um, I hid it.  Dad doesn't know yet. Thank God they have two.

Well, my eyes are beginning to glaze over--I'll catch up on blog reading over the weekend. I apologize if there are any mistakes in this post, but I'm seriously zombie-like...even though I really do hate zombies.

Oh, and I'll post the Christmas fun facts tomorrow. :) 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Happiness Survey!

Jay had this survey on his blog and his answers were so much fun to read, he said we could do the same. So, here we go!

What makes you happy?

* Christmas makes me sublimely happy. Christmas music, movies, shows, decorations, food…everything.

* My parents, who mean the world to me.

* Football, NASCAR, Basketball, Baseball, etc.

* Soda. Yeah, I know. Bad for me makes me happy.

* Dreams.

What was your childhood like? Honestly, I couldn’t ask for a better childhood. It was a childhood full of love, laughter, and so many traditions. I miss it everyday.

What was your first crush like? Mind-numbing.  It’s actually funny to think back on it now—how every little look held a hidden message or how every “and, the, huh, uh, and um” he uttered just had to mean something.

Did you ever have a celebrity crush? What was that like? Troy Aikman was my big crush in the 90s. Well, and The Right Kind of Love singer, Jeremy Jordan.  Honestly, especially with Troy, the crush filled a void…it kept me company. I guess, while others had boyfriends, I had an unrealistic crush—the best kind, really, because they can’t hurt you—which is why I’ll be hanging on to my Bing Crosby crush for eternity. ;)

Do you like sports? Um, do we remember how I was during the Mavericks’ run for the Championship? Need I say more?

Have you ever done sports? Yeah, no. I watch, not play.

What music do you like? Everything, really. From Indie and instrumental to R&B and country, I listen to it all.  I love American Standards (Big Band) as well—it’s something I grew up with and hold very close to my heart.

What instruments do you play? Yeah, none, unless you count tapping out songs with your nails on the keyboard when boredom sets in? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Did you like school?  I didn't like how cruel kids could be growing up.  As I got older, it became more about grades than anything else, especially in college and beyond. People didn’t call me Hermione for nothing. I was obsessed with getting A’s. To this day, I have dreams (nightmares?) that I’ve forgotten to study for an exam. I’m very glad to awaken from those dreams, I tell you.
What is your favorite color and why? Pink! I have no idea why, but I just love it!

Do you like where you are living? Yes, it’s a great little town.
If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would it be? Ooh, that’s tough. I would say Diagon Alley or maybe Santa’s village. ;)

What was your favorite book growing up and what is your favorite now? Growing up, I loved the classics like Charlotte’s Web, Anne of Greene Gables, and The Boxcar Children. I also loved the Nancy Drew books and Babysitter’s Club series. Today, I love the True Blood series.  Until I find a new book love, my present day favorite must go to the Harry Potter series. 
What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything else? Not sure there is an answer, but if I had to guess, I would say: do the best you can, be the best person you can, remember The Golden Rule, have faith, be true to yourself, love and cherish your family…oh, and count your blessings instead of sheep. ;)

Do you know where your towel is? Um, huh? I feel stupid. Am I missing something with this one? Anyone know what this means? Uh, it’s hanging in the bathroom. I feel off the charts on the stupid meter right now.  Do they mean the kind you whoosh around during a football game??? 

Monday, December 12, 2011


I wanted to share one of my new very favorite songs with you. It’s so beautiful and speaks to those who may feel left out of the reindeer games (had to work some holiday in here somehow) or who may be viewed as just a little different from the rest.

The song was also recently featured on Bones—thought it fit the love between Booth and Bones perfectly.   

Hope you like it as much as I do.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Christmas Fun Facts Friday

On this television Christmas music channel I listen to, they post random holiday facts. They are so interesting and fun and, well, jolly, that I thought y'all might like them too. So, from now through Christmas, I thought I would post as many as I can for you. :)

Here we go! 

1. Evergreen, holly, ivy, and mistletoe are important plants in the Yule celebration, which symbolizes everlasting life.

2. The children of Poland receive presents twice during the holiday season. (might not want to tell the little ones this fun might not hear the end of it). 

3. Woolworth's five-and-dime is credited with originating the whole wonderful idea of giving a Christmas bonus to employees. (I knew I loved Woolworth's!)

4. What are the top Christmas tree producing states? Oregon, Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and California!

5. The real St. Nicholas was a bishop in the town of Myra during the 4th century. He became known for his supreme generosity, his love of children, and protecting and helping those in need. He also had a reputation for secret gift-giving. Hello, Santa!

6. Gene Autry was the first to record Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

7. Early versions of candy canes were actually straight. Later, they were bent to resemble a shepherd's staff.

8. The Christmas classic White Christmas has over 500 recorded versions in many different languages.

9. In 2009, the traditional Neiman Marcus Christmas book listed a giant motorized cupcake for $25,000.

10. When Santa first delivered Mr. Potato Head toys in 1952, they were simply plastic parts that could be stuck inside real potatoes.

11. The Charlie Brown Christmas special has been televised EVERY year since 1965.

12. The Pet Rock made creator Gary Dahl millions when it became a hugely popular gift in 1975.

Have a holly jolly weekend!!! (I need to cut back on the sugar!)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Truth Is Thursday!

Truth Is: The Christmas cookie monster attack has started. Wal-Mart had these cookie trays on sale…have mercy, they are so good.

Truth Is: We need a playoff system in college football. Just sayin.’ Geaux.

Truth Is: I yanked 3 hairs from my head, thinking they were gray. Turns out they were just really, really blonde.  You would think I would stop and check after the first faux gray, but no. Sometimes my brilliance astonishes me. :/

Truth Is: Why is it in less than six months, two beauty products I’ve ordered arrived damaged? I thought things never arrive annihilated twice in the same year…kinda like lightning never strikes twice in the same place. The body wash I ordered exploded in transit, so when I opened it up—SQUISH, SQUIRT, OOZE.  It’s like it had Montezuma’s revenge. Earlier this summer, I ordered pressed powder and it showed up completely crumbled. I opened the box and wondered why it was dusty--yeah, because it wasn’t dust, genius...which I found out upon opening the compact. POUF. A cloud of powder particles went everywhere.

Truth Is: So, I’ve been getting an unusually large amount of “find your soul mate, sign up today” e-mails.  Just sign up for a free trial and find your soul mate! As if it’s that easy for everybody. Suppose the increase in volume makes sense during the holidays, with New Year’s Eve and Vomit Day right around the corner.

However, I don’t appreciate the following: Are you lonely? See 50 photos of singles in your area, from Senior People Meet. 

Truth Is: There was an ad running across the top of my e-mail today. “Why Men Pull Away. 10 Ugly Mistakes Women Make that Ruin Any Chances of a Relationship.” Seriously? I know women aren’t perfect, but men aren’t either and I’m sure they also make those 10 ugly mistakes that ruin any chances of a relationship.  Just sayin’.

Truth Is: I think I used all of my creative juices on the superhero me post because my brain has been unable to produce anything remotely interesting the rest of the week. (Hmm, could be due to cookie coma, though).

Monday, December 5, 2011

Superhero Me!

So, here we go! Lex has given us a challenge: to create, write, and draw a superhero version of ourselves. Using your super power suggestions, I crafted my superhero self! And, um, after the Cowboys’ unbelievable loss (our coach basically iced our own kicker…and it worked.), I had to work out the tension and got a little carried away with this superhero challenge. *blushes* 

The Frisky Virgin, superhero-style

Code Name: The Frisky Virgin

Description: From the deepest, darkest corners of night to the blindingly bright rays of day, she moves, unnoticed by human eyes, watching, listening, and waiting. Delusional dizziness is doomed! Ignorance be gone! Douche-bags beware! Liar-liar pants on fire she shall declare!

Super Powers:

  • The brutal truth she speaks will penetrate your brain and replace the stupid with common sense and accountability. (Might have been useful for the Cowboys coach yesterday…icing your own kicker…just when you think you’ve seen it all).

  • Can move about unnoticed, completely invisible to human eyes (yeah, this is so a real power of mine)

  • Her palms mysteriously soaked the power of the Patronus and Petrificus Totalus charms from the pages of Harry Potter.  Together, they bind wrongdoers in an impenetrable web of freezing light and wispy blue jays (TFV’s Patronus). (Dang, I wish!)

  • By virtue of her own virtue, TFV is able to save women from giving it up to a lying douche-bag (and vice versa—save men from falling for a vicious, ill-intentioned, sight-setting, money-grubbing witch…’cause those do exist and they always seem to win…not anymore!).  (Kinda want a theme song now).

  • Irresistible to men when she chooses to be visible. (*snort* wish this were true).

Bonus abilities: Fly, super speed, and super strength. (really, who doesn’t want these?)


*Bejeweled “V” on her belt: glows and vibrates [hey, if phones can be set to vibrate, so can my bejeweled“V”] to alert her of someone needing assistance; can also detach and be used as a smart-weapon (really, couldn’t this be some character on True Blood, minus the obvious cheesy bits?) 

Thank you, Lex! This was so much fun!!!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Lion King Cuteness, Blog Award, & Kiss It.

Kiss It: We have some randomness this Friday, mainly because my brain has declared an early weekend due to its state of pi** off.  A certain HE made a cameo and proceeded to, yet again, show just how incredibly screwed up he is about things, namely how to treat others. The funny thing is, I'm not convinced he even gets what he does or says. I'm not mad or hurt on a personal level, just ticked on a human-to-human level. There's a way of treating people, you know, and it doesn't involve impersonating the Riddler.  I know this is all cryptic, but, like I said, the brain has left its pink slip for the day. 

Lion King Cuteness: Mom told me Dad asked her if they had the DVD The Lion King.  She didn't think they had it, so Dad hopped on over to Target and came home with the DVD. 

Once home, Mom told me she had to ask him about his interest in the DVD:

Mom: "Honey, why did you get The Lion King?"

Dad, a little coy: "'Cause I like the music."

Isn't that cute? This is a man who likes war movies, action films, and comedy-type things, like Wedding Crashers and Stripes, yet here he is buying a Disney movie. Too darn cute.

Blog Award: I received a wonderful award from the super adorably kind Purple.Mist! Thank you so much, sweetie, and huge congrats on finishing your exams!!!

Now, I'm supposed to pass this pretty award to 15 bloggers, but you know I'm ridiculously bad about that.   So, with it being the holidays and all, EVERYONE snatch it up and enjoy.

Extra Random Fun: Here's what y'all have suggested so far for my superhero alter ego super powers...

With invisibility already in check...

Lost.In.Idaho: Super honesty (no sugar coating--brutal bluntness only).

J.Day: Knock sense into people (I'm thinking this could work with the super honesty--like the result of brutal bluntness is common sense.)

LOLA: Harry & Hermione powers. (So, here, I'm thinking about taking Expecto Patronum and Petrificus Totalus and combining them into one super spell).

Loving your suggestions!!!  If y'all have any others, bring 'em on!!!

So, this weekend, aside from sweating over sports, I'll be working up my superhero identity--very fun. Great idea, Lex!!!

Have a great weekend!!!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Truth Is Thursday!

 Truth Is: Mom always says the best things, like this one: “Now I know it’s the holidays when I’m eating chocolate chip cookies and drinking soda.”

And this one came after Dad wanted to talk about sad news stuff and Mom interrupted, simply saying: “I want to curl up in my own little euphoric world and pretend.”

Truth Is: This time of year especially, I tend to think there is so much more to this world than we can see with our eyes. (A little whimsical, I know, but where’s the fun in reality all the time?)

Truth Is: The brightened, surprised looks on the faces of elderly couples when I smile at them should make me happy, but really it makes me want to cry; it’s like they don’t get those smiles very often. My dad confirmed this when he once helped an elderly veteran and the gentleman’s chin started quivering. Simple things mean the world.

Truth Is: The Dallas Cowboys sit atop the NFC East!!! BFF is practically giddy (this is saying a great deal, considering he’s a grumpy Grinch this time of year and usually cheers for the Abominable Snowman in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer).

Truth Is: I get to create a superhero alter-ego, thanks to Lex. And I get to draw me as a superhero! So excited! Not sure what powers I’ll have yet. I’m open to suggestions—what kind-of powers should I have? I like the power of invisibility, but, as otherworldly as it may seem, I’m pretty sure I already have that one…and I don’t even need a cloak. :/ I’m aiming for Monday to reveal my secret superhero identity because, you know, we all have one and Monday's usually suck.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

007 Daniel Craig Doesn't Mince Words

Photo Sony Pictures

Last night, I came across an article where Daniel Craig (00-sexy, uh, 7) unleashed on the Kardashian bunch. 

Here's part of what he had to say in an interview with GQ magazine:

"It's a career. What can I tell you?" he said. "It is a career; I'm not being cynical. And why wouldn't you? Look at the Kardashians, they're worth millions. Millions! I don't think they were that badly off to begin with, but now look at them. You see that and you think, 'What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a f*!$ing idiot on television and then you'll pay me millions?'"

Now, I don't begrudge anybody anything, but I just don't understand the Kardashians.  The first time I heard of Kim Kardashian was when her sex tape made the news. As for her sisters, I only heard of them when one married a basketball player and the other became pregnant with her boyfriend's baby. I didn't even know they had a brother until I saw a commercial for the most recent season of Dancing With The Stars

Craig is right about how one can make millions on television today, but it's not limited to the Kardashians.  When I look at the types of shows proffered for our entertainment, most of what I see involves bad behavior and/or exploitation. 

You have drunken messes, swearing rants, cruelty, extravagant snobs, delusional egos, and promiscuity, while the unique, different, or hurting are portrayed in a supposed positive light, when really it's just a subtle way of making fun.

What's happened? Since when did severely bad behavior become the jewel in the crown? To me, when you reward bad behavior, you encourage it. Stop rewarding it, and you send a much stronger message about right and wrong and basic human decency. 

Bottom Line: I don't get it. Oh, I get the whole money aspect, but...I don't get it. Who would want to act the way some of these people act? Who would want to treat others so poorly? And why? I don't get it. I really just don't get it. And, apparently, neither does 007.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Dig My Car, Baby

I hate to admit where I was when this little gag-me moment took place.  Please keep in mind, it was getting late and I hadn't eaten.

McDonalds. I was at the Golden Arches. I know, awful, right? Here it is right after the annual Thanksgiving gorge-fest and I'm fast-food-ing it up.  I blame the smell of freshly fried fries and grease.

Anyway, while in the parking lot at Mickey D's, Cool Dude decided to give me his best "wassup, baby" move.

Now, I need to paint this picture as clearly as possible for y'all:

1. Having not eaten anything, I was somewhere between a fainting princess and a ravenous bi*#$ wolf. 
2. My nose was busy having a love affair with the smell of smoking hot fries coming from inside Mickey D's.
3. On a scale of 1-10, my desire to have a move put on me was a -5.
4. Did I mention we're in the parking lot of McDonalds? Yeah. A little grease and a little flirt? Not ideal. I just want my bad-for-me food, you know?

Cool Dude had the wassup head move down pat.  No words, just the bob and a semi-smile.  I smiled back, not wanting to be rude (although, I strongly suspect the corners of my mouth turned up because I was one step closer to the fries).

He then stood there, chomping his gum, posing by his fancy BMW with tinted windows. He had kind-of a "look at me, baby, aren't I sexy with my 007 car" vibe.

Well, let's see where the sexy ranks, shall we: His pants were so far down that the pockets had to be near his knees.  He had his hat turned backwards with the bill flipped up, and the brightest pi**-yellow shoes I have ever seen. I bet you they glow in the dark...glow in the dark pi** shoes. It's like he missed the mark and hit his toes.

After the pose, he slowly got in his car, put the driver's window down, turned the stereo to sonic boom, and ripped out of there.

Not sure what the heck all that posing was about...or if he was just showing off...or if he expected me to swoon, but the next song that played on the radio was so ironic, I had to laugh. Pretty much sums it all up for me.

Here's the part that really sums it up (Back When by Tim McGraw):

...We got too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when...

~written by Stan Lynch, Stephony Smith and Jeff Stevens; performed by Tim McGraw.

I hear you, Tim--I miss back when, too, even if it's a back when I never knew. 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Truth Is Thursday, Thanksgiving Themed!

First and foremost, I hope EVERYONE is having a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

Truth is: COWBOYS WON! Whoop-Whoop!!! Turkey Day with a Cowboys win makes digesting much easier.

Truth is: After the game, CBS did a little tribute to all who work behind the scenes. They show pictures of everyone and their families while playing a song. It’s really nice.  Anyway, this year, they played Keith Urban’s Without You, which he wrote for his wife, Nicole Kidman.  I LOVE that song—who doesn’t want a man who loves like that?! I’ll post the video below.

Truth is: This morning, the Christmas music station I listen to did something that even made my mom’s jaw drop. 

In between songs, the DJ started talking about random stuff and then mentioned something about wish lists. I thought she was going to talk about the top toys kids are asking for this season, like they normally do. I couldn’t have been more wrong.  

DJ Lady: “…I’ll let you know what single people  are wishing for this holiday season.”

Really? We now have single-people specific wish lists for Santa? And here I always thought wish lists were specific to the individual, regardless of social status.

Couldn’t stick around and find out what topped the single person’s wish list, but I bet whatever it was didn’t match my wish list, since my #1 is sports related.  So…there…you sorta not nice DJ Lady person. *sticking tongue out*

Truth is: I really, really want to ride a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. 

Truth is: My mom’s kitchen smells so good…and the fridge with all the leftovers is the best smelling fridge this side of the moon.

Truth is: Will not be Black Friday shopping.  Will be sitting in front of television for football.  Must be ready for football.  Watching football right now, actually. I do love football.  Can I possibly type football any more times?  Probably. ;)

Truth is:  Think I over-stuffed my tummy.  It’s tradition to over-stuff on Thanksgiving. Definitely lived up to said tradition. 


Here’s the video I mentioned above:

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Annual Thanksgiving Grocery Trip

I know I'm way behind on reading. Ugh, I feel so bad when I fall behind. I will be working through blogs, I promise.

Late today was our annual Griswold Family Thanksgiving Grocery Trip. Every year you can usually count on at least one completely humiliating instance...and this year didn't disappoint.

This year, my mom could go, which was wonderful.  And she had her moments...which I'm not at liberty to share...but really want to. 

There were some near misses:

* Mom, needing my help, unwittingly brought me too close to the fish station. Not a good place for my nose and gag reflex. When the unmistakable scent of fish guts burned the tip of my screaming nostrils, I felt it.  It always begins the same: a wave flows up my throat, sending a quiver to my chin and a curl to the bottom lip, ending with a rather remarkable sound effect and, I would imagine, an unforgettable sight. Luckily, I hauled it from the fish and managed to stop the effect somewhere between chin quiver and lip curl.

* I asked my dad if cut green beans were the same as sliced green beans. Dad laughed. Loudly.  Shopper Lady started laughing.  I felt like an idiot.  Did I miss the green bean category day in kindergarten or something?

* Near disaster: Heading for the crazy long checkout lines, I just had to spot some Holiday DVDs. So, while walking, I craned my neck to scan them because...well...I don't know why. Curiosity? Stupidity? *thinking* Yeah, it had to be stupidity. Anyway, when I turned back around, I was less than a half step from slamming into one of those displays in the middle aisle of the store. I kind of stutter-stepped around it, but didn't go far enough and had to kind of hug it. I wanted to disapparate. So, there I was, kind-of frozen, hugging a round display thing. Lord help me. On the plus side, I didn't knock it over--been there, done that already anyway.

Now, for the humiliating moment of the day. While trying to slip away to purchase, um, a package of, ahem, the feminine sort (re: for the monthly visitor), Dad, of course, caught me.

Dad: "Where ya goin'?"

Me: "Oh, just down there. Be back."

Dad: "Gotcha. You might want my help, though."

Me: "Huh?"

Dad: "Well, things like toilet paper and those women things are price traps. If you don't check those unit prices carefully, they'll nail you. Actually, let me just come show you what I'm talking about."

Me, trying to scurry away: "What? No. That's okay, really."

Dad: "It's good information to have for your future buys. Plus, women don't look at that stuff--they just grab and buy. I can probably save you a couple bucks."

He started kind of following me down the aisle, before he stopped, turned, and said rather loudly: "Hon, we're just going to be down there with the female pads and stuff.  Daughter needs my help."

Me, exclaiming at the same time he's saying what he's saying: "No! No. Shhh. know...really?"

Dad, the light dawning on him: "Oh, oops. Sorry about that."

Two men were standing right there by the milk. In his defense, I don't think he really saw the two guys and no one else was in that part of the store. Still, could he not show me the whole unit price thing (which I'm pretty sure he did already some years ago...that I kinda forgot over time) over some Bounty towels or Kleenex or something? I'm darn sure not going to forget now, I can tell you that.

All was quiet as we headed down the aisle...until Dad started his Cheshire cat laughing. Terrific.

All in all, it was a minor humiliation compared to years past. Next chance for catastrophic embarrassment: The Griswold Family Christmas Shopping Trip.

On the plus side:

1. Dale Jr. ended the NASCAR season 7th in points! He had an awesome year, especially with it being his first season with Steve.  Those wins may have escaped his grasp this season, but I think it just means they're storing up for next season.  Proud to be a Dale Jr. fan. Go Dale! (Awesome Chase finale, too. Tony Stewart's run was incredible. Epic final race).

2. Cowboys won in OT over the Redskins. Phew!

3. College football (minus names for fear of jinxing): Geaux.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Truth Is Thursday!

Truth is: There was a picture of this older guy on the back of some magazine and I thought it was Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing)…but it wasn’t…because I was looking at it upside down. Turned the right way, he clearly wasn’t J.R.  So, upside down he’s J.R.; right-side-up, not so much. I’m so interesting right now, huh? 

Truth is: I heard the Mariah Carey hit, All I Want For Christmas Is You on the radio…but it wasn’t the same...there was another voice joining her on the track…

My first thought was that the DJ had accidentally started another track over hers, but that couldn’t be since they were singing the same lyrics. No, it was clearly a duet. I had no idea who it was, but my reaction went something like this: “STOP!!! MY EARS! MY EARS!”

After the song ended, I uncovered my ears, and the DJ solved the mystery: “That’s the new Christmas single by Justin Bieber with Mariah Carey…”


Look, I’m sure he’s a great kid, but…well…it was just wrong.  I think it didn’t work because Mariah’s voice is just so much bigger than his. Reckon I just like the original. She's a legend--it's her song.

Truth is: Dad was in a cranky mood the other night. Unfortunately, it was the only time I could talk about Mom’s Christmas present with him without her trying to eavesdrop.

Cranky-pants + Christmas presents = borderline Donald Duck moment (his favorite Disney character).

So, he kept trying to change the subject, which I let him do a time or two before tactfully bringing the topic back around to Christmas.  By tactfully, I mean I said something very blunt like, “Okay, back to Christmas,” in a much too happy voice.  After about the third time, I finally got the semi-Donald Duck moment. 

Dad, red face and cranky: “I’m trying to talk about historical things here and you just want to talk about Christmas and it’s not even Thanksgiving.”

Admittedly, I was a little bouncy. It’s the Christmas vibe. I tend to get a little merry.

Me, my mind a complete blank as to how to un-cranky him: “Don’t snap at me! I’m being adorable here!”

Dad turned to look at me and his cranky, frown-y face broke into a huge grin.

Me, slightly embarrassed: “Well, maybe it’s more like adorkable.”

Dad, laughing: “No, it’s adorable.”

We talked about Mom’s Christmas present and he was a total teddy bear the whole time.

Truth is: Pretty sure it’s more like adorkable. :/

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Friendly Faces?

You know that line in Something’s Gotta Give about versions of the truth?  Jack’s character says, “I have always told you some version of the truth,” to which Diane’s character wryly responds, “The truth doesn’t have versions.”

She’s right. But it seems there are different versions of friends because, let’s face it, an awful lot of people have no idea what it means to be a real friend. 

Now, I understand friendships sometimes drift apart over the years due to distance, marriage, and/or children. Those things happen.  And I know people aren’t perfect—even true friends can make mistakes or say things they don’t mean. Again, those things happen. I’m not talking about changes in circumstances getting in the way of friendships; I’m talking about people who were never really your friend to begin with.  

I used to think friends meant being there in good and bad times, being supportive when they’re weak, helping them rise when they fall, and celebrating when they succeed.  I used to always think there was only one kind of friend.  Boy, was I as na├»ve as a little lamb trusting a slightly bigger lamb with unusually big fangs, gray pointy ears, and poorly fitted wool. 

It seems like the friend thing is getting worse. I hear it all the time: “She just stopped being my friend when I got a boyfriend;” “She says really cruel things to me, then turns around and brags about something in her life;” “He says he values my friendship, but only calls to flirt, then disappears for weeks.”

So, I’ve put together a short list of “friends” to avoid:  

  1. Fair weather friend: These “friends” wear their masks very well. They give every indication of being a real friend until the bottom drops out, things get rough, and then they zippity-do-da right on outta there.  Ultimate Friend Fail: No better than a fair weather football fan—not loyal, unreliable. 

  1. Foul weather friend: Polar opposite of fair weather.  When something makes you happy or fate hands you a golden egg, this “friend” goes M.I.A.  They are unconditional friends so long as your life, in their view, is less than stellar, but when your life finally decides to get good, they split.  Ultimate Friend Fail: They rejoice in your sorrow or failure; can’t be happy for you; total evil queen or king in manner of Maleficent.

  1. Footstool friend: Like bacteria in human form, these charming sorts will be true as tar until you unwittingly help them reach a premeditated goal, at which point they will dump you and move to the next.  You are a means to their ends. You are only friend material if you know people, have something they want, or can get them to a particular place in life, whether professional or personal.  Ultimate Fried Fail: It’s all about them, the materialistic-Cruella de Vil-mongers.

  1. Fire-stoking friend: The one who likes to stir up trouble.  This friend seems to cause strife between you and your other friends, family, and sometimes your boyfriend or significant other. Ultimate Friend Fail: The Siamese cats from Lady & the Tramp. ’Nuff said.

  1. Fur-stroking friend: These types are in desperate need of an ego boost. Whether it’s a guy needing a little flirt after being rejected elsewhere or a girl wanting to show off about this or that, these friends keep you on speed dial for a quick “I am so great and wonderful” moment.  Ultimate Friend Fail: You are simply their mirror, mirror on the wall. 
Conclusion: If confronted by any of the True, real friends are hard to find, but when they do come along, it's special--they're almost a once in a lifetime kind-of-thing. 

Um, one more conclusion: People just kind-of suck sometimes.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Attack of the Moth

It was night of BBQ, football, family and fun.  After stuffing our faces, we settled in to watch the game.  My mom worked on her Christmas blanket, taking breaks to shout at the refs, while my dad tinkered with his netbook, grumbling about the offense.

Even the kitchen work seemed more enjoyable.  That is, until I attempted to throw some icky packaging away and found that the garbage bag was too full.  No biggie. 

Next up: a new garbage bag.

Spinning (I like twirling) across the kitchen and into the mudroom, I flipped on the light, started tugging out a garbage bag, and...

FLAP! FLAP! FLAP! Zoooooooooooom! SLAM!

Freaking Mothra started attacking me in my neck, head, ear, and back.

It must have been a sight: me, doing my best imitation of a demented screech owl, with arms flailing, and hair whipping about in waves, while hunching my body over like Quasimodo, all in an attempt to avoid the BIGGEST BUG EVER.

No joke, this thing was like the size of a freaking bird. In fact, at first, I almost thought it was a bird. I tried to usher it out the door, but it kept attacking me. Aren’t they supposed to hibernate or something? Have you ever had a moth stick itself in your ear?  So not fun.

I finally escaped the mud room, turned off the light, and closed the door.  I then did what any single gal in her right mind would do...

Go back in armed with hairspray, shoe, and paper towel? Nah. We save that gear for very special wasps and bees.

Call for boyfriend? Well, since I don't have one of those, no.

Call for Dad? Ding, ding, ding, ding! Yep! Heck, he was there, watching the game, and just messing around with his netbook; he could take a minute to save his daughter from a monster.

I'm not sure how he got rid of it, but I can tell you he made no noise (very unlike my spastic dance) and it took literally two seconds.

Me: "You already got it?"

Dad: "Yeah, no problem."

Me: "Did it attack you?"

Dad: "Sure did. Landed right here on my neck."

Me, shuddering: "Didn't you, I don't know, freak out?"

Dad, smirking: "No.  It's a moth."

Okay, that didn't make me feel too stupid or anything

Me: "THAT was not a moth.  That was like Mothra's long lost baby or something."

Dad, laughing: "I've seen 'em bigger."

I couldn't reply.  Bigger?!  As in, what, Daddy Mothra?  King size Mothra? Super size Mothra?

Really. Don’t. Like. Bugs.

On the plus side:

*Cowboys won BIG against the impressive Bills. Hurray!

*Dale Jr. had a blah day, but it seemed all the Hendrick cars struggled. One race left and only 3 points separate Carl Edwards and Tony Stewart for the Championship. Should be a good one!

*I’m thinking there won’t be an NBA season…sucks…but it means the Mavericks remain the champions for another season (looking on the bright side can be so much fun sometimes).

Happy Monday!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Truth Is Thursday!

Truth is: HE (Hypocrite Evermore) is so not an honest, truthful man.  Knew it.  Hoped otherwise.  I really need to stop believing in the best in people (not sure that's entirely possible though.  I'm such a Pollyanna sometimes.). 

Truth is: Kyle Busch is in trouble (said in singsong voice)! After his antics at Texas, his sponsors want him out of the last Nationwide race of the season and there is some indication he may not be driving in the final two Sprint Cup races.  One very talented driver with a very bad attitude and, now, an uncertain future. Side note: I'm proud to be a Dale Jr. fan.

Truth is: I found an all Christmas music station on the radio! It made me want to go outside, plop down, and make a snow angel...but there's no snow...only dirt...and a dirt angel just doesn't have the same whimsy, does it?

Truth is: One of the first songs I heard was Frosty the Snowman and it reminded me of how much I always wanted to build a snowman, put a vintage top hat on his head, and see if he would say, "Happy Birthday!" What? You never wanted to try that? No? Oh, um, yeah, I guess I probably never actually really wanted to try that either. *blushes*

Truth is: This whole Penn State scandal makes me sick to my stomach. Appalling. Please keep the victims in your thoughts and prayers.

Truth is:  Ever see the jumbo boxes of dishwasher detergent? You know, the ones that are Hulk-heavy? Yeah, those. Well, I have one of those under my sink.  Not the brightest move. Last night, I filled the little door thingy, closed it, then attempted to pour a small amount in the top area for a pre-wash. I'm not sure what part of "small" my muscles didn't understand because they totally spazzed and proceeded to drop the Godzilla box of detergent, spilling an unholy amount all over the dishwasher door. Terrific. Had to clean that up before starting dishes because running the dishwasher with too much soap ends in a mess. Um, I found that out the hard way. Good times.

Truth is: Tomorrow, the last ever Harry Potter DVD will be available. *tears* Can't wait to curl up by my lonesome, watch the movie, and cry like an idiot.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Lights = Aliens...Sort of.

Well, this was a fantabulous sports weekend.

College Football: Very big game this past weekend. My daddy has a team, my mama has a team, and I grew up loving both with everything in me, but I refuse to jinx by saying too much, so I'll just say this one word...Geaux.

Cowboys: Won!

Dale Jr: 7th at Texas! Thank you, Texas!  (Bonus: Kyle Busch, because of his propensity to throw temper tantrums, wrecked Hornaday under caution in the truck race Friday night, which forced NASCAR to suspend him for the entire race weekend at Texas.  Again, Thank you, Texas! Great driver, but his attitude leaves a lot to be desired...shame, really.).

Me, Mom, Dad, & Aliens:

Post-game activities with my family usually involve talking (or ranting) about the game, reminding each other to breathe, and just relaxing.  This weekend was a little different.

Me, walking into the kitchen and finding my mom peering out the window: "Mom?"

Mom: "Honey, there's a weird light moving outside the kitchen."

Me, a little alarmed and a lot confused: "What do you mean there's a weird light?"

Mom: "The light is bright, a little blueish, and it's moving around the driveway."

Me, cleaning up a bit: "Maybe it's someone with a flashlight?"

Mom: "No, honey, the light isn't low or round like a flashlight. It's midair and it looks like a weird shape...Oh My God, I'm being abducted by aliens," she said with a sigh.  "And here I thought those alien abductions were a little bit fake."

Me, realizing I needed to look at this light: "No, Mom, you're not being abducted by aliens. There must be a reasonable explanation."

Mom: "There is a reasonable explanation--I'm about to meet E.T. Oooh, what if they're not E.T. aliens and they're more like those slimy, smelly, mean ones from Independence Day?"

Me: "Well, then I guess you go all Will Smith on their stinky butts."

Moving to take a look outside, I immediately saw the cause of the mysterious lights.

**I should probably note that my mom is night blind

Me, grinning: "Mom, I think I can safely say you are not going to be abducted by aliens.  It's Dad. He has lights on his head."

Mom: "You're saying your father is growing lights from his head?"

Me: "In a way..."

The back door flew open and in walks my Dad sporting his headband of lights.

Dad: "These are so cool.  I don't have to put the porch lights on, I can finally see under the sink, and, look, it flips from bright to red!" He started flipping the switches to go from bright to red with a big goofy grin on his face.

Me, laughing: "And this would be your alien, Mom."

Mom, shaking her head: "Honey, you have no idea."

Moral of the story: Next time you see a floating light, it might be a man who has discovered the next it-thing in light-up head gear. 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Truth Is Thursday!

Truth is: I'm bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. There's nothing so dull as a brain that wants to yawn...and yawn and yawn.

Truth is:  Was so elated Dale Jr. finished 7th last weekend. He drove like a bat outta h-e-l-l.  He definitely delivered a treat.  Perfect timing for Halloween.  The Cowboys on the other hand were in the mood to trick. In fact, I'm not entirely sure they even showed up to play. Oh! Maybe they intentionally lost that game in a miserable way in order to "trick" their future opponents into thinking they aren't a threat. Yeah, uh-huh, that's the theory I'm sticking to.

Truth is: The Halloween Ghost Hunters live event was fun, as always.  It made me want to visit a graveyard or some other abandoned creepy place in the middle of the night and try to talk to any wandering spirits.  Might cure the yawning brain of boredom.

Truth is: Really tired of how marriage is treated like some random thing you try on for size, like a dress or pair of shoes. 

Truth is: The whole "without my phone I cannot live" mentality bugs me. Can't make a decision? Ask your phone.  Wonder what color works best on you? Ask your phone.  Need to start your car from afar? Just have your phone do it.  Very disturbing.  Want to lock or unlock your house on a whim?  No problem, just have your phone do it. Even more disturbing.  Oh, and while you're at it, just scan checks and do all your personal banking...on your phone. Scarier than a group of zombies surrounding you in the middle of an empty parking lot at 2 a.m. Hmm. Maybe not. I get how it can be useful, but it's just not for me. I'm a little more old-fashioned than that, I guess. Big surprise, huh?

Truth is: I watched the new episode of the Walking Dead and wound up dreaming about running from those ugly, skin-rotting, flesh eating creeps all night. But what really made the dream a nightmare was when a relatively stylish zombie tried to eat my cranberry Totally Turnlock Marc Jacobs Mag bag handbag. Stupid smelly bit*!. 

Truth is: The Christmas music has started and I couldn't be happier! It's all I listen to from Halloween to Christmas.  Love all the Christmas commercials and movies, too! I'm determined to create a little Christmas magic of my own this year. I just don't know what or how exactly...but I'm not discouraged, no-oh-no. 

Monday, October 31, 2011

An Owl-O-Ween Tale

There once was a tiny baby owl.  He had no family, no home, and no name.  He spent his days hiding, shivering and scared, in the base of a large oak tree, which stood behind a pretty yellow house where Mrs. Mama, Mr. Daddy, and Little Darling lived. 

The little owlet waited all day to smell the yummy food Mrs. Mama cooks, hear the hearty laugh of Mr. Daddy, and watch Little Darling giggle and play with her dolls.

The baby owl spent most evenings simply watching the small family, but what he loved most was story time. Mrs. Mama spent every night reading to Little Darling about a wonderful, magical world where owls are messengers, friends, and heroes. This place is called Hogwarts. 

Night after night, the owlet curled up to Little Darling’s window and listened to stories of three-headed dogs, giant, moving chess sets, and fantastic broom games.  Sometimes, Little Darling would play music from Hogwarts--the tune was haunting, beautiful, and spoke to him unlike anything else.

Finally, this Halloween night, he realized what he must do.

“I must go to Hogwarts,” said the little owl, his angelic voice strong and decided.  “That must be where I belong.”  He stomped his little foot and turned to leave, but something stopped him.  A small pain in his tummy made him turn to look at Little Darling one last time.   

“My Little Darling! Time to get ready for trick or treating!” he heard Mrs. Mama say in a singsong voice.

The owlet knew she wouldn’t be able to go trick or treating this Halloween, for Little Darling had not been well. But Mrs. Mama made sure to get her a surprise costume and let her hand out candy at the door. 

“Okay, Mama,” she said sweetly before scooping her teddy bear into her arms and singing the sweetest song the baby owl had ever heard.

It had the strangest impact on him, however: he cried.

“Why do I cry?” he wondered, wiping the tears from his worried amber eyes.  “I will miss this little family, but this is not my family.” He sniffled a bit, hopped off the window, took one last longing look at the house, and left to find Hogwarts. 

Since he was too young to fly, the owlet stayed masked within the shadows, not wishing to confront a scary fox or hungry hawk. 

“Owlet, owlet, where do you travel?” A gray squirrel had jumped out from a nearby bush.

“I’m going home to Hogwarts.”

Laughing, the squirrel choked, “There is no Hogwarts, you silly little owl!”

“There is so, and I’m going to find it,” said the owlet, marching on. 

Soon, swooshing sounds filled the air and a moving shadow flew around the owlet.

“Now, where might a tiny little owl be heading all alone on Halloween night?” said the big bat, smiling devilishly.

Frightened, the owlet muttered, “T-to Hogwarts. My home.”

“Impossible.  There is no Hogwarts.  You don’t have a home, owlet, and you never will.”

“Y-yes I do! I will! Once I find Hogwarts!”

“Poor little pitiful one,” said the bat, shaking his head, baring his fangs.  “I shall not drink your blood, young one.  You are too sad to drink.”

The owlet scurried off into the night.  He knew not where he was or where he was going, but he believed more than anything he would find Hogwarts, his home...his family.  As tears fell faster and harder, the owlet began to hum the Hogwarts melody. 

Then, from somewhere in the distance, he heard it…that familiar tune, the one he hums to keep himself company. 

“Hogwarts!” he cried, running as fast as his little feet would go. 

As the music grew louder, he could see hanging candles, a small plush house elf, and a large cutout figure of a boy with black hair, glasses, and a lightning-bolt shaped scar.

He hopped up the steps, fluttered his wings, and feverishly tapped his beak against the door until it opened.

“Why, hello there! How did you get here?”

When the owlet looked up to greet who he thought was a professor, he stumbled and nearly fell backwards down the steps: it was Mrs. Mama!

“What is it Mama?” Little Darling rounded the corner and she was dressed as a snowy white owl.  “Oh, Mama, it’s a baby owl! Can we keep him? Can we, Mama? Please?” begged Little Darling.

“I don’t think owls can be pets, Little Darling,” said Mrs. Mama gently.

The owlet began hopping up and down and hurried to cuddle against Mrs. Mama’s ankle.

“Oh, please, Mama, please! Besides, he wouldn’t be a pet. He’d be family.”

At these words, the little owl turned his glistening eyes to Little Darling. 

“He does appear to need a home…and some food,” said Mrs. Mama, with a wink and a grin. 

“Oh, thank you, thank you!” said Little Darling, scooping the owlet into her arms, softly cradling him as he happily snuggled against her. “Shh, it’s okay now, my Love Bug.  You’re home.”

And that is how Love Bug the owlet found a name, a home, and, most importantly, a family, for love doesn’t exist in some imaginary world far, far away…it’s a magic that lives all around us, if only we choose to see it.  

*Just a little story I wrote on Halloween and wanted to share. I sure get nervous sharing my little stories like this one, but I thought it would be something fun. I hope you enjoyed it.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Truth Is Thursday!

Truth is: I'm really, really late in posting this today. *hides head*

Truth is: Quality is falling by the wayside and it's ticking me off. My parents remember appliances lasting 20-25 years. Today, you're lucky to get 4 or 5 years out of them.

Truth is: I'm watching the Rangers...and drinking soda. Well, they just go hand-in-hand, don't they? Kind-of like peanuts...and popcorn. Rangers are up 4-3.

Truth is: I'm perplexed. There are people who seem so obsessed with plastic surgery and the latest youth-saving techniques, all in an effort to look pretty. But, doesn't true beauty come from within? So, wouldn't it make more sense to be a good person and let that inner beauty shine through? Because I can't imagine any amount of products and procedures can make someone pretty if they're ugly inside.

Truth is: I'm really looking forward to the Ghost Hunters Live Halloween special! The team will visit some super spooky place and try to contact ghosts. See, I hate gory, scary movies, but I do love Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures. Reckon I just like ghostly stuff.

Truth is: Tim Tebow, resident NFL virgin, made his debut as the starting Denver QB this weekend...and he won. I'm really very, very happy for him. He's taken a lot of heat from critics and I just hope he will prove them wrong.

Truth is: I'm really, really, REALLY hoping Dale Jr. can come away with a win this weekend. Last weekend just didn't seem fair to him.  Go Dale!

Truth is: Christmas is around the corner and I haven't even a slight clue on what to get anyone. Usually, I have some semblance of an idea in place by now and this year I don't. To make matters worse, I saw the first Christmas commercial of the season (Glade Holiday scented candles, to be exact). Now, I love anything and everything Christmas, but when I'm on the verge of present-crazy, it's unnerving.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

One Lovely Blog Award & Fun Facts!

That Twenty Something Virgin was sweet enough to pass me this award and I couldn’t be happier. She’s adorable, witty, and an absolute sweetheart.  Thank you so much for this award, darlin’!

There’s so much to answer with this one, so let’s get started!


  1. Link back to the person who gave you the award (see above)
  2. Complete form below
  3. Tell 7 random things about yourself
  4. Nominate 15 bloggers


* Name your favorite color: Pink is my signature color. (Thank you to Steel Magnolias for this line).  

* Name your favorite song: When You Wish Upon A Star—my mama used to sing this to me when I was little.

* Name your favorite dessert: Chocolate Cream Pie

* What pisses you off? Mean people

* When you are upset, you:  Clean, then curl up, watch a fun movie, and eat cereal.

* Your favorite pet: My puppy from when I was little. Miss him so much.

* Black or White?  Black—it’s elegant, flattering, and so versatile.

* Everyday Attitude: Cautiously optimistic with a gallon of hope, a sprinkle of cynicism, and a dusting of pessimism.

* Your best feature: Reckon my heart.

* Guilty pleasure: Watching Dance With Me or Cocktail while indulging in chocolate milk and Captain Crunch (or chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream).

7 Random Things About Myself:

  1. Much like with clowns, I have a completely irrational fear of zombies.  The whole concept gives me the creeps.  And, yet, I watch that show The Walking Dead because of my True Blood withdrawals. 

  1. I usually like to cuddle up in a blanket, even when it’s warm out.

  1. Um, I have a secret desire to ballroom dance *hides head* Think it would really bring out the sexy.

  1. Oh, I love organizing things! It’s thrilling to see something that needs organizing because then I can unleash my skills.

  1. I’m totally looking forward to the last ever Harry Potter DVD.

  1. I’m totally not looking forward to the LAST EVER Harry Potter DVD.

  1. The trailer to the new Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn, Part I, looks good and I look forward to seeing it…but so help me if it breaks any of the records smashed by Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II.  I just don’t think the Twilight Saga comes anywhere close to Harry Potter.

Nominate 15 (and I added a couple to that):