Monday, November 28, 2011

Dig My Car, Baby

I hate to admit where I was when this little gag-me moment took place.  Please keep in mind, it was getting late and I hadn't eaten.

McDonalds. I was at the Golden Arches. I know, awful, right? Here it is right after the annual Thanksgiving gorge-fest and I'm fast-food-ing it up.  I blame the smell of freshly fried fries and grease.

Anyway, while in the parking lot at Mickey D's, Cool Dude decided to give me his best "wassup, baby" move.

Now, I need to paint this picture as clearly as possible for y'all:

1. Having not eaten anything, I was somewhere between a fainting princess and a ravenous bi*#$ wolf. 
2. My nose was busy having a love affair with the smell of smoking hot fries coming from inside Mickey D's.
3. On a scale of 1-10, my desire to have a move put on me was a -5.
4. Did I mention we're in the parking lot of McDonalds? Yeah. A little grease and a little flirt? Not ideal. I just want my bad-for-me food, you know?

Cool Dude had the wassup head move down pat.  No words, just the bob and a semi-smile.  I smiled back, not wanting to be rude (although, I strongly suspect the corners of my mouth turned up because I was one step closer to the fries).

He then stood there, chomping his gum, posing by his fancy BMW with tinted windows. He had kind-of a "look at me, baby, aren't I sexy with my 007 car" vibe.

Well, let's see where the sexy ranks, shall we: His pants were so far down that the pockets had to be near his knees.  He had his hat turned backwards with the bill flipped up, and the brightest pi**-yellow shoes I have ever seen. I bet you they glow in the dark...glow in the dark pi** shoes. It's like he missed the mark and hit his toes.

After the pose, he slowly got in his car, put the driver's window down, turned the stereo to sonic boom, and ripped out of there.

Not sure what the heck all that posing was about...or if he was just showing off...or if he expected me to swoon, but the next song that played on the radio was so ironic, I had to laugh. Pretty much sums it all up for me.

Here's the part that really sums it up (Back When by Tim McGraw):

...We got too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when...

~written by Stan Lynch, Stephony Smith and Jeff Stevens; performed by Tim McGraw.

I hear you, Tim--I miss back when, too, even if it's a back when I never knew. 


  1. Fancy car...

    Smug attitude...

    Jacked up stereo...

    Back in my day, when a man was overcompensating for 'other shortcomings' he'd just drive a big truck....

    *sigh* Kids these days...

  2. I so love that song. :)

    But I have to tell ya, there has always been "that" guy and always will be. Further proof that guys really have no idea what we find attractive.

  3. LMAO Getting "wassup'ed" at McD's. Wow.

    I've never understood the style of wearing one's jeans so low that basically your butt is never actually IN the jeans. What, then, is the purpose of said jeans? Would the same purpose be served if jean makers just made jeans with the butt cut out (like chaps)? I mean, they're not using that part of the pants anyway.

    And that's one of my favorite Tim McGraw songs. :o)

  4. You really shouldn't have smiled back. You only encouraged him to do it again to someone else, and he's only making a fool out of himself.

  5. Hmmmm....let's see here...saggy britches, douchebag hat, and funky shoes. I'd have to say those french fries were by and far wayyyy more sexy!!

  6. Lost. in. Idaho: I would've like the truck better, truth be told. (although the choice of attire totally ruins it).

    Julianna: Me too! Great song!

    You're so right--none of it appealed to me in the least.

    J.Day: It was a first to have the wassup move at McDonald's. lol

    Oh, good point! Just cut out the bum area, since it's completely useless. I'm not a fan of the style. Cover your butt, it's that simple.

    Me too--when that song played, I started laughing. Couldn't have been better timing.

    Chanel: Probably true. Think I mainly smiled for the fries. Of course, he doesn't know that. Honestly, there's probably nothing that could stop him. He seemed to have perfected his shtick.

    CatAndTheCoffeeCup: Oh, they were! Waaay sexier! And the fries didn't need all the antics to impress the girl. :)

  7. I would have been far more suspicious of where and how he got his hands on such a vehicle. Either daddy gave it to him and he's therefore an entitled douchebag poser, or else . . .

    Either way, you're safer with the bad junk food rather than the bad junk boy.

  8. Oh my special. Some men just really don't get it! Who thinks that the best place to pick up women is in a McDonald's parking lot and more over who is old enough to drive and still wears their pants that low and their hats backwards with the brim bent up (because really that is the clincher).

    Oh sweetness...only you!

  9. I never understood how a loud stereo was supposed to make me swoon? Oh, you like your music loud. You know what that makes me think? When I tell you to pick your stuff off the floor you won't her me cuz you're deaf from the loud music!

  10. Did his Daddy know he had his car out? lol..

  11. David: Oooh, excellent point. Hmm, either way, it's not good, is it?

    "Either way, you're safer with the bad junk food rather than the bad junk boy." lol--Perfectly said!

    Jewels: Literally had me belly laughing when you wrote, "So Special." LOL Oh, the bent up brim was just so wrong. Add it to the rest and it was just a bid old mess.

    :/ Afraid so. All I wanted was my fast food.

    Barsola: LOL-Good point! Nicely said!

  12. Alittlesprite: LOL Gotta wonder. Although, I'm afraid he might have been old enough to know better, scary as that might be. lol

  13. Just stopping by to say that I am back. And that I have missed you.

  14. Oh Frisky Virgin.......will his heart ever mend from being broken!

    BC LIONS are now the proud owners of the Grey Cup! They started off slowly, with their young nervous QB, but in the second half they showed them who was the better team! Pictures on my blog.

  15. Miss V, You made me laugh right out loud! The sad part about this a$$hat is that there are girls out there who would totally buy that wanna-be pimp crap. LOL

    Who knows... He's probably really just some geeky nerd who got all dressed up like Li'l Wayne and took daddy's car out for a joy ride!

    I'm totally with you and Tim on this one and I DO remember that time. ;~)


  16. Wow! Sounds like you passed up a good one, there! lol

  17. Ah, Miss Virgin. You were too much of a lady to say "Can I get you a happy meal, Sonny?"

  18. LOL!!!!!!!!!! Those shoes would have had me running the other way!

  19. OT: Oh, YAY! I'm so glad you are back! I've missed you so much! *Hugs*

    Carole: OMG! Congratulations!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you and your team!!!!!!!

    Mrs. B: LOL--You're right, though. Some girls would be so mesmerized by the car that they'd overlook the, um, well, rest of it; they'd probably think he was soooo cool. Ugh.

    Everyday, some headline or news item makes me shake my head and miss back when. Do you find that, too?

    Eva: lol-Oh, yeah, he was a regular prince smarming.

    GB: LOL--That is something Doris Day would say in one of her movies. lol

    Average Girl: LOL-I was like, "what is going on with this guy's feet?!" The glow in the dark pi** shoes were just so bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. On the plus side, he has two night lights wherever he goes. :/