Dig My Car, Baby

I hate to admit where I was when this little gag-me moment took place.  Please keep in mind, it was getting late and I hadn't eaten.

McDonalds. I was at the Golden Arches. I know, awful, right? Here it is right after the annual Thanksgiving gorge-fest and I'm fast-food-ing it up.  I blame the smell of freshly fried fries and grease.

Anyway, while in the parking lot at Mickey D's, Cool Dude decided to give me his best "wassup, baby" move.

Now, I need to paint this picture as clearly as possible for y'all:

1. Having not eaten anything, I was somewhere between a fainting princess and a ravenous bi*#$ wolf. 
2. My nose was busy having a love affair with the smell of smoking hot fries coming from inside Mickey D's.
3. On a scale of 1-10, my desire to have a move put on me was a -5.
4. Did I mention we're in the parking lot of McDonalds? Yeah. A little grease and a little flirt? Not ideal. I just want my bad-for-me food, you know?

Cool Dude had the wassup head move down pat.  No words, just the bob and a semi-smile.  I smiled back, not wanting to be rude (although, I strongly suspect the corners of my mouth turned up because I was one step closer to the fries).

He then stood there, chomping his gum, posing by his fancy BMW with tinted windows. He had kind-of a "look at me, baby, aren't I sexy with my 007 car" vibe.

Well, let's see where the sexy ranks, shall we: His pants were so far down that the pockets had to be near his knees.  He had his hat turned backwards with the bill flipped up, and the brightest pi**-yellow shoes I have ever seen. I bet you they glow in the dark...glow in the dark pi** shoes. It's like he missed the mark and hit his toes.

After the pose, he slowly got in his car, put the driver's window down, turned the stereo to sonic boom, and ripped out of there.

Not sure what the heck all that posing was about...or if he was just showing off...or if he expected me to swoon, but the next song that played on the radio was so ironic, I had to laugh. Pretty much sums it all up for me.

Here's the part that really sums it up (Back When by Tim McGraw):

...We got too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when...

~written by Stan Lynch, Stephony Smith and Jeff Stevens; performed by Tim McGraw.


I hear you, Tim--I miss back when, too, even if it's a back when I never knew.