Monday, November 14, 2011

Attack of the Moth

It was night of BBQ, football, family and fun.  After stuffing our faces, we settled in to watch the game.  My mom worked on her Christmas blanket, taking breaks to shout at the refs, while my dad tinkered with his netbook, grumbling about the offense.

Even the kitchen work seemed more enjoyable.  That is, until I attempted to throw some icky packaging away and found that the garbage bag was too full.  No biggie. 

Next up: a new garbage bag.

Spinning (I like twirling) across the kitchen and into the mudroom, I flipped on the light, started tugging out a garbage bag, and...

FLAP! FLAP! FLAP! Zoooooooooooom! SLAM!

Freaking Mothra started attacking me in my neck, head, ear, and back.

It must have been a sight: me, doing my best imitation of a demented screech owl, with arms flailing, and hair whipping about in waves, while hunching my body over like Quasimodo, all in an attempt to avoid the BIGGEST BUG EVER.

No joke, this thing was like the size of a freaking bird. In fact, at first, I almost thought it was a bird. I tried to usher it out the door, but it kept attacking me. Aren’t they supposed to hibernate or something? Have you ever had a moth stick itself in your ear?  So not fun.

I finally escaped the mud room, turned off the light, and closed the door.  I then did what any single gal in her right mind would do...

Go back in armed with hairspray, shoe, and paper towel? Nah. We save that gear for very special wasps and bees.

Call for boyfriend? Well, since I don't have one of those, no.

Call for Dad? Ding, ding, ding, ding! Yep! Heck, he was there, watching the game, and just messing around with his netbook; he could take a minute to save his daughter from a monster.


I'm not sure how he got rid of it, but I can tell you he made no noise (very unlike my spastic dance) and it took literally two seconds.

Me: "You already got it?"

Dad: "Yeah, no problem."

Me: "Did it attack you?"

Dad: "Sure did. Landed right here on my neck."

Me, shuddering: "Didn't you, I don't know, freak out?"

Dad, smirking: "No.  It's a moth."

Okay, that didn't make me feel too stupid or anything

Me: "THAT was not a moth.  That was like Mothra's long lost baby or something."

Dad, laughing: "I've seen 'em bigger."

I couldn't reply.  Bigger?!  As in, what, Daddy Mothra?  King size Mothra? Super size Mothra?

Really. Don’t. Like. Bugs.

On the plus side:

*Cowboys won BIG against the impressive Bills. Hurray!

*Dale Jr. had a blah day, but it seemed all the Hendrick cars struggled. One race left and only 3 points separate Carl Edwards and Tony Stewart for the Championship. Should be a good one!

*I’m thinking there won’t be an NBA season…sucks…but it means the Mavericks remain the champions for another season (looking on the bright side can be so much fun sometimes).

Happy Monday!

24 comments:

  1. There is nothing okay with Mothra, her offspring or any bug that large. That is what Daddy's are there for though...glad he could come to the rescue.

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  2. Ah Miss Virgin, I would have eaten that stupid moth for you! Would that have made you feel sick?

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  3. What is up with all the huge moths this year? My sister has been finding them on a regular basis in her yard up in Michigan...

    Glad to see the Chase actually going down to the wire for once! Should be a humdinger of a race next weekend :-)

    How 'bout them Cowboys! ;-)

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  4. It sure does not look good for an NBA season, but I'm okay with your Mavericks hanging on to the title an extra year as a result!

    brrrr....I don't like bugs and moths either!

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  5. I would LOVED to have seen that dance you did in the garage!

    I don't follow the NBA, what are they locked out about now? Money? If it's money shoot me in the head right now. No better shoot them.

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  6. Jewels: I hate bugs. This thing was gigantic. Way too big. It was a monster.

    GB: This might have been the one time I wouldn't have had a gag reflex had you been here to rid the house of the attacking flying dino moth. :)

    Cat: I'm glad to hear others are finding them. Scared the living crud out of me...and it literally attacked! The race is going to be thrilling! :) My Cowboys are waking up! :)

    Eva: It's a shame we'll have a lost season, though. But, yeah, the Mavs keeping the title for another year is pretty cool. :)

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  7. Jay: Um, I'm glad nobody saw my spastic dance. lol Yep, locked out and, yep, about money, among other things. When you step back and look at the whole situation, it does look really bad, particularly when it involves millions and millions of dollars. :/ It's upsetting A LOT of fans, big time.

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  8. LOL! Impressive isn't exactly what I would call the Bills right now. But Dallas did win big, I give you that.

    And they do say everything's bigger in Texas. I guess that includes the bugs! So glad I live where it gets cold enough we don't have to deal with them for at least 6 months out of the year. We only get moths no bigger than your pinky here.

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  9. Um. Four Words.

    Silence.

    Of.

    The.

    Lambs.

    'nuff said.

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  10. David: Trust me, moths are everywhere in every temperature (or so it seems) and in every size. Just ask my Dad. lol And I swear they follow me. Aww, the Bills have been so much better this season than seasons past! I think it was a great confidence booster for the 'Boys. :) They needed a game like that, I think.

    Julianna: Oh, did you have to say that?! lol Now, I'm all creeping out! Ick. Ewy.

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  11. Lol dads always act so cool in these sorta situations!

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  12. I don't want flying creatures in my house. One time my sister had a bat in her house. They tried to catch it but it disappeared AND THEY NEVER FOUND IT. It's been years. I'm still waiting for it to show up again.

    Love,
    Lola

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  13. Hahaha you're so funny!
    But it's ok, I would have freaked out too. I remember when there was a gigantic moth in my living room (it was like a butterfly, but uglier) and I started screaming for my mom to get rid of it before it starts flying all over the place.
    Bugs are scaryyyy.

    Hope you're having a good week :)

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  14. I walked down into my basement yesterday morning with a load of laundry, and when I was walking back up the stairs found the most hideous hairy multiple-legged creature sitting on the wall I shrieked!

    It is now dead. Thank you, Mr. Fly Swatter. I feel like this bug came out of the depths of the ocean--never seen anything like it before!

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  15. For awhile I had to keep a fly swatter in sight because they'd get in via my swamp cooler. I couldn't sleep knowing they'd be flying around my room.

    But I really would have loved seeing that spastic dance of yours. lol

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  16. He didn't hurt the two little girls that ride on Mothra's back did he? Don't be afraid of moths, they don't have teeth. They will lay eggs in your hair and the larva will crawl into your ears and implant in your brain and drive you crazy though. At least that's what someone at works child told me.

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  17. Ew, moths are gross! There's currently one stuck in my lamp downstairs, but the idea of getting it out, probably with my hands, is just really unappealing.
    And don't worry, I would've been doing crazy freak out moves to get it away too.

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  18. This reminds me of when I found the hairy bug in my bed…and when I went to kill it, I found a gigantic spider amongst my clothes on the floor. I then proceeded to throw every bit of clothing out in the hallway to find said evil spider. I recruited friends to help me find and kill them. Hairy bug is still out there….

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  19. A Little Sprite: Oooh, maybe! lol He did seem fairly keen on the neck-ear area. :/

    Hazel: They really do. Never ceases to amaze me. :)

    LOLA: You're kidding! Oh, I'd never sleep again with a bat on the loose. *shivers*

    Purple.Mist: Oh, yeah, this thing was huge! And why do they feel the need to attack? lol

    ms. caboo: Um, yeah, just reading that made me scared. *more shivers* Bad bugs.

    J.Day: I swear this thing was too big for a fly swat. Of course, I didn't think of it either. :/ Oh, the dance...highly humiliating. lol

    George: Nightmares. I will now have nightmares that it left eggs in my hair. Great. I did wash it...and conditioned it...and used a wonderful-smelling serum on it later that night.

    That 20Something Virgin: Oooh, I wouldn't recommend removing it from the lamp. Ick. Maybe a vacuum?? Okay, thanks, because I felt like a complete idiot. :/

    Lex: A missing hairy bug...very bad. Hateful bugs! It's amazing how something so small can be so unnerving and scary.

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  20. One thing about winter here on my Island...the moths die or hibernate or head south or something.....I hate when they congregate on our back porch and burn to death in the light!

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  21. Carole: Do they make that "zap" sound when they get caught in the light? That would freak me out! lol

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  22. Yes and then it's dust everywhere!

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  23. Carole: Yikes! I didn't know it turned them into dust! Doesn't surprise me though considering how huge those things are! :/

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