Late today was our annual
This year, my mom could go, which was wonderful. And she had her moments...which I'm not at liberty to share...but really want to.
There were some near misses:
* Mom, needing my help, unwittingly brought me too close to the fish station. Not a good place for my nose and gag reflex. When the unmistakable scent of fish guts burned the tip of my screaming nostrils, I felt it. It always begins the same: a wave flows up my throat, sending a quiver to my chin and a curl to the bottom lip, ending with a rather remarkable sound effect and, I would imagine, an unforgettable sight. Luckily, I hauled it from the fish and managed to stop the effect somewhere between chin quiver and lip curl.
* I asked my dad if cut green beans were the same as sliced green beans. Dad laughed. Loudly. Shopper Lady started laughing. I felt like an idiot. Did I miss the green bean category day in kindergarten or something?
* Near disaster: Heading for the crazy long checkout lines, I just had to spot some Holiday DVDs. So, while walking, I craned my neck to scan them because...well...I don't know why. Curiosity? Stupidity? *thinking* Yeah, it had to be stupidity. Anyway, when I turned back around, I was less than a half step from slamming into one of those displays in the middle aisle of the store. I kind of stutter-stepped around it, but didn't go far enough and had to kind of hug it. I wanted to disapparate. So, there I was, kind-of frozen, hugging a round display thing. Lord help me. On the plus side, I didn't knock it over--been there, done that already anyway.
Now, for the humiliating moment of the day. While trying to slip away to purchase, um, a package of, ahem, the feminine sort (re: for the monthly visitor), Dad, of course, caught me.
Dad: "Where ya goin'?"
Me: "Oh, just down there. Be back."
Dad: "Gotcha. You might want my help, though."
Dad: "Well, things like toilet paper and those women things are price traps. If you don't check those unit prices carefully, they'll nail you. Actually, let me just come show you what I'm talking about."
Me, trying to scurry away: "What? No. That's okay, really."
Dad: "It's good information to have for your future buys. Plus, women don't look at that stuff--they just grab and buy. I can probably save you a couple bucks."
He started kind of following me down the aisle, before he stopped, turned, and said rather loudly: "Hon, we're just going to be down there with the female pads and stuff. Daughter needs my help."
Me, exclaiming at the same time he's saying what he's saying: "No! No. Shhh. Aw...you know...really?"
Dad, the light dawning on him: "Oh, oops. Sorry about that."
Two men were standing right there by the milk. In his defense, I don't think he really saw the two guys and no one else was in that part of the store. Still, could he not show me the whole unit price thing (which I'm pretty sure he did already some years ago...that I kinda forgot over time) over some Bounty towels or Kleenex or something? I'm darn sure not going to forget now, I can tell you that.
All was quiet as we headed down the aisle...until Dad started his Cheshire cat laughing. Terrific.
All in all, it was a minor humiliation compared to years past. Next chance for catastrophic embarrassment: The
On the plus side:
1. Dale Jr. ended the NASCAR season 7th in points! He had an awesome year, especially with it being his first season with Steve. Those wins may have escaped his grasp this season, but I think it just means they're storing up for next season. Proud to be a Dale Jr. fan. Go Dale! (Awesome Chase finale, too. Tony Stewart's run was incredible. Epic final race).
2. Cowboys won in OT over the Redskins. Phew!
3. College football (minus names for fear of jinxing): Geaux.