Update & True Blood Tuesday: Let’s Boot and Rally

Update: I’m so, so, so sorry this is a week late! Between my schedule and having the internet go all wonky to the point of finally crapping out, it’s been a heckuva week. BUT, I plan on returning to regular blogging next week, finally! I have so much to tell y’all, and I can’t wait to catch up with everyone’s blogs.

Did y’all see Dale get another top 5 finish yesterday? I’m so loving that he’s having such an amazing season.  Okay, on with the seriously delayed recap.

Season five, episode 5.

Sookie & Alcide: Oh. My. Much kissing, undressing…there goes Al’s belt. He says he’s waited so long for this…and then Sookie barfs on his shoes. LOL Bill and Eric pop into the bedroom—Eric: “Alcide, you sure know how to treat a lady.”

Note: See, this is why I cannot drink—THAT would totally happen to me at THAT moment.

Lafayette: Returning home, Lafayette tries to cleanse his essence. His reflection shows the monster dude instead of himself. He kinda freaks and breaks a lot of his religious figures because they were mocking him. He asks Jesus for a sign…he needs help.

Terry & Patrick: So, their former army buddy tied them up in the basement and asks if anything followed them there.

Jason: Um. He awakens in pajamas on Christmas morning. His father, mother, and little sister, Sookie, were there having breakfast. Jason sees his mother and father with bleeding necks…from vamp bites. We won’t talk about what his mother said. Ew. Ah, it was a dream. Now, he wakes up in present day, in his house, completely nude. His phone rings, and he asks the caller what year it is before heading off to a crime scene. And, hello, bottom. Andy gets the same call (and awakens in the nude as well).

Sookie, Bill, Eric, & Alcide: Bill wants Sook to try and break into Doug’s mind (Al’s coworker, who was there the night Russell was moved). Al doesn’t want them to involve Doug. They begin arguing, and Sook starts belly-laughing because she just hears barking dogs. Sook realizes her life isn’t going to change—this is it...werewolves, vampires, shifters, oh my. A really old vamp wants to suck her blood? “Must be Thursday.” Time to go find Russell—“Onward into jaws of death…boot and rally.”

Tara & Pam: At Fangtasia, Tara looks all sexy. Pam makes her a bartender. Tara says basically she’s Pam’s slave. Unfazed, Pam completely agrees with the slave bit. Tara goes to feed on a girl in public, but Pam swoops in, grabs her by the throat, and orders her to never do that again—there will be no spoiling of Fangtasia. Jess, meanwhile, sees it all go down.

Sookie, Bill, Eric, Alcide: They go to find Doug so Sook can look inside his mind to try and recover memories from the night Russell was released. Sookie sees that the person who released him was a WOMAN! She has a pendant—the same one Nora wears. Don’t think it’s Nora—the pendant could stand for something. Bill instantly thinks it’s Nora, but Eric won’t buy it.

Nora: The freaky vamp in the cell next to hers starts taunting her. She looks in the camera and says we will rise up; warriors of Lilith are coming for Roman. His nights are numbered. Salome watches on television in the Authority control room as they burn Nora with the UV light. Salome wants Bill and Eric informed that they have until dawn to find Russell or they will be terminated.

Note: Props to Salome for walking in those heels over the steps with rather large spaces between them.

Salome & Roman: Roman waxes philosophical about Chancellor Drew. He stares at a vile of blood behind a glass box. Some believe it is that of Lilith; he says it’s a simple symbolic ritual, nothing more. Once again, Salome wants Roman to throw the religious base a bone—control the message.

Terry & Patrick: Patrick thinks their former buddy is insane and causing the fires. The guy says he saw a monster in the flames when another war buddy and his wife died. The fire kind of grabbed them. The fire monster is a fertile being in smoke and fire. Terry thinks back—one of the Iraqi women mourning for her lost loved one remained alive, despite being critically wounded. Terry wanted to save her, but Patrick ordered him to kill her. Before Terry shot her, the woman cursed the troops: The fire monster will kill them and their loved ones.

Jason, Andy, & Sam: Jason and Andy arrive on scene where the two shifters were killed. Jason sees his parents in the faces of the couple. Jason tells Andy that the ladies and guys in the club were all fairies. Andy: “I effed a fairy.” Jason calls them Tinkerball. Lol Andy won’t let it mess things up with Holly and doesn’t want to talk about it with Jason ever again. Andy talks to Sam, who admits being a shifter—and informs him that the couple was also of the shifter variety.

Note: Seems to me that the supernatural beings are the norm on the show now, rather than the mystery.

Tara & Jess: Jess decides to befriend Tara. Tara mixes her a True Blood drink and wants to trade makers. Jess talks to her about being a vampire—the tough aspects, the good, feeling crazy in the beginning, impulses, always hungry, etc. Jess tells her to just wait until she feeds and screws. Jess tries to convince a troubled Tara that the feelings or impulses aren’t bad—they’re awesome. Tara, however, thinks they’re bad. They continue to girl-talk about feeding on a human and how awesome it is.

Note: Have to wonder if this fits with the Sanguinista—will sides have to be chosen? Live forever, young forever, world is wide open to them…hmm…could be interesting.

Sookie, Alcide, Bill, Eric driving in Al’s van: Sook asks Al if they’re ever going to talk about her puking on his shoes. Al: “Nope.” Lol

Sookie reads Doug’s mind, which leads them to an abandoned asylum.

Bill thinks Nora fed Eric and himself up to Russell—that maybe it’s all orchestrated. He calls her a traitor and liar, just like her brother. Fangs come out, and Eric tells him to take it back. Bill receives a call letting them know their auto stakes are activated to kill them by dawn.

Note: Anyone else think weak Russell looked a lot like weak Voldemort circa Goblet of Fire?

Sookie has a headache, has to pee something fierce, and wants to get it over with—her microwave fingers are the only things that seem to work against Russell, so she’s protecting them (they want her to wait outside with Al).

Jason & Andy: Jason finds a wooden/silver bullet. Andy puts it together that there may be a group of humans out to kill supernaturals. Jason, meanwhile, talks about how supes have been getting away with killing humans and making it look natural for years—focused on the vamps. Could he become part of the movement?

Sookie, Eric, Bill, & Al: Sook walks hand-in-hand with Doug through the asylum, trying to recreate the path he took with a Voldemort-esque Russell. Sookie got a little weak for a moment, and Bill asked if she was okay (the only one of the men who did). Soon, they find rats feeding on body parts…which leads to more rats feeding on whole bodies.

Tara & Hoyt: Hoyt looks absolutely ridiculous as a fang-banger. Just sayin’ Anyway, he’s all decked out in his banger finest when he runs into Tara outside of Fangtasia. He offers her his neck to feed, but she turns him down…initially, anyway, given the look she gives him.

Terry & Patrick: Terry continues thinking back. After he killed the woman, they poured gas on the bodies and set them on fire. In the flames, Terry saw the monster start to rise up. Back in present day, Terry confesses to the former war buddy that he saw the monster too. Terry tells him they have to get out of there—they are sitting ducks; it’s what it’s been waiting for. The guy cuts both Terry and Patrick loose, but Patrick just thinks Terry was bluffing, so he knocks out their buddy and ties him to the chair. Terry tried to get through to him, but it didn’t work. Terry ran out. Outside, Terry again tries to tell Patrick that the fire monster was real. Patrick still seems unsure—blame it on the drugs they took that night.

Meanwhile, bad fire creature rises up and takes war buddy as his. Gotta say—the fire monster looked dang freaky!

Lafayette: UM. OKAY. Lafayette awakens to Jesus’ severed head sitting atop his table, trying to talk to him, but his lips are sewn shut. The same head appears to Lafayette’s mama, who seems to understand every grunt and groan.

Sookie, Eric, Bill, Alcide: They’re being watched. Doug runs away and turns into a room with hanging bodies. Doug and one of the dangling bodies start screaming. Eric comes in and stops the screaming. Bill asks where they take the bodies—the hanging guy says down the hall. They turn to find Russell, and Bill asks if Sook is ready. Love how he worries about her.

Sam, Luna, & Emma: Sam checks on Luna and Emma after finding their fellow shifters dead. They’re okay—she hasn’t told him about Emma yet. It appears that Sam and Luna are going to mend their relationship. Luna, terribly upset about her friends, and clearly preoccupied with Emma’s being a were, asks Sam to leave, but he said he’ll check on her tomorrow. They hug—yay, they’re still going to be together.

Sam leaves…and someone screams, “Hey shifter!” Oh no! They shoot Sam!!!!!!!! Luna runs out…NO! She’s shot twice. OH NOOOOOOOO! Luna stares at Sam…and possibly dies. Emma runs outside and calls for her mommy. Sam tells her to run—she changes into a were and runs away, unscathed.

Montage: While Roman talks about mainstreaming, we see Jason crying by his parents’ graves; Sookie, Bill, Eric, and Alcide are looking for Russell; Tara feeds on Hoyt, while Jess feeds on some girl one stall over in the bathroom of Fangtasia. Hoyt tells Tara to stop—Jess hears his plea and breaks down the door to stop Tara. They have a little vampire fight, ending with them holding each other’s neck. Sookie, Bill, Eric, and Alcide finally find Russell…

He has a body now—looks more like himself, though he’s a little pale and still weak. He seems happy Sookie is present.

Alcide is standing in the doorway…Eric taunts Russell a bit—“We’ve come to finish what we’ve started…”

Russell: “Give it your best shot.”

At that moment, Alcide is taken from the doorway.

DANG! That’s how we end—ten minutes short!