Monday, July 25, 2011

The Good Old Crush


Do you ever miss having a crush? In junior high and high school, crushes seemed like the most complicated things in the world.  The inevitable “do you think he likes me?” question took on a life of its own with tentacles that grabbed at each brain cell and prevented you from ever thinking clearly again—and certainly not about math. 

In class, you’d get lost staring at the lone off-color florescent light.  You analyzed every little thing he said, eager to find one small sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he liked you.  Helping you open your locker meant he cared.  Walking to you to class meant he liked you.  Giving you his pen because yours ran out of ink meant he kind-of really liked you.  And making sure he saw you before homeroom meant you were heading for young love.  Hey, we were young and had stars in our eyes.

From Monday through Wednesday, you hoped he would ask you out (because everyone knew a guy didn’t usually ask you out for Friday or Saturday past Wednesday).  You dreamed of how he would ask you out, pictured your first date, and fantasized about the first kiss.  Walking down the hall hand-in-hand was as big a deal as world peace.  And, of course, visions of the “I love you” moment were soon to follow. 

Then Wednesday comes and goes with no call, no note, and no date.  A little sad, you gathered yourself up and looked forward to next week, then the next week after that, and the week after that.  Little did you know the weeks would pass as quietly and regularly as the seasons.  You were a good girl.  But, the passing weeks didn’t really matter because you had hope—it kept you going.

It was commonplace for girls to talk on the phone for hours and analyze the dreaded "does he like me" question.  My friends found the dwelling part both necessary and an annoying obsession, like watching a movie and having to say the lines before they happen.  I was their sounding board and I never minded--to me, they weren't obsessing...they were hoping. 

For me, it was the wondering that kept me company.  I guess it filled a void in a way. It was like picturing how you would have your life be, if you could—like you’re writing a story and you’re the main character.  

The only baggage you had involved deciding on what to wear, wanting a boyfriend, going on a date, or getting asked to a dance.  And those little flavored roller-ball lip glosses made you feel like the sexiest girl in school.  I had the strawberry flavored one.  

Life was simple, even though it felt impossibly complex.  Back then, the boys hoped for sex.  As you get older, men expect it, and soon.  

Sometimes, I just miss the simplicity of a crush that goes absolutely nowhere.  


21 comments:

  1. You are right, life was simple back then.

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  2. I miss those types of "crushes" as well. And you're right, there's something about "the simplicity of a crush that goes absolutely nowhere." :)

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  3. I miss the giddyness that came with a crush. Those were the good times. I miss the innocence of the notes where you just checked "yes", "no", or "just friends" and then went about your day. What I wouldn't give for it to be that simple again.

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  4. The fantasy is usually better than reality, Miss Virgin. Do you have any crushes these days?

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  5. I was one of the rare few who didn't experience this. All the boys I went to school with thought I was too weird because I had more interest in my 4-H projects than going out and partying.

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  6. This is interesting to hear it from the female perspective. We had the nervousness of asking you and were generally pretty sure that you girls would say "No". It wasn't easy from our end either. Such a little deal as I look back at it now. Nicely written.

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  7. I miss those crushes, too! Great post.

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  8. OT: It really was.

    Yvonne: :) Honestly, crushes today just don't hold the same innocent charm.

    Jewels: Oh, the giddiness was so much fun--you felt like you were walking on air. I so miss the simplicity of those days.

    GB: That is certainly true. Unfortunately, I don't have any crushes these days. :(

    chocolateangel: I never went out and partied either. Still, those sweet little crushes were nice to have, even if they never went anywhere.

    George: Thank you. :) It's funny, isn't it? The boys were nervous about asking and the girls were anxious to be asked.

    Eva: :) Thank you so much.

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  9. What George said. And we had to wait till you were alone unless we dared face several giggling friends of the girl at once.

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  10. I had a crush on my teacher......as did every other girl in the school! Oh he was yummy. As for the boys, they were just TOO simple! :)

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  11. Drake: I imagine that could be intimidating, especially at that age.

    Carole: LOL--well, that made me laugh!

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  12. ahh whenever i didn't have a crush i always wanted another one, til i had one and didn't get liked back. although finally it paid off, as you know :)

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  13. 20 Something Virgin: It did finally pay off and I couldn't be happier for you. *Hugs*

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  14. I really LOVE this post, Frisky. It's so human and real. I also love a good crush, even these days.
    Be well.
    xoRobyn

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  15. I'm sure you would have such crushes these days also. A crush is very delirious. I like it that way- to remain only a crush. Once it takes a turn to anything at higher level, it becomes nasty.

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  16. Robyn: Thank you so much! I miss having a crush. Haven't had one in a long time.

    Runawaybride: It's been so long since I had a good old-fashioned crush! Hopefully, one is around the corner somewhere. :)

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  17. Things move so quickly now that I don't think most young people have crushes. Maybe nerds who are too shy to say anything do, but not the average person. This "microwave society" takes the fun out of everything now.

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  18. Thank, Q: You know, I never thought of that, but you make an excellent point. How sad is that?! Part of the fun and freedom of being a teen was having those innocent crushes.

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  19. Adorable. Thanks for the uplifting post!

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  20. Sigh, I miss those days too. I remember spending hours lying on my bed staring at the ceiling thinking about a girl I knew. It may be hard to believe but sex didn't even factor into it, it was just a great overbearing feeling of joy.

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  21. Sigh I miss those days, spending hours staring at the ceiling on my bed day dreaming of a girl I had a big crush on...it seems like such an impossible thing to every feel again =(

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