This little blip came from one of my mom's cookbooks and I just had to share it with y'all. I have no idea which cookbook it is from because she typically buys old books just to cut out recipes, modify them, and place them in her sacred personal cooking binder.
Mom, handing me a slip of paper: "For future reference."
On the paper:
How To Preserve A Husband
"Be careful in your selection. Do not choose too young, and take only such varieties as have been reared in a good moral atmosphere. When once decided upon and selected, let that part remain forever settled and give your entire thought to preparation for domestic use. Some insist on keeping them in a domestic pickle while others are constantly getting them into hot water. Even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender, and good by garnishing them with patience, well sweetened by smiles and flavored with kisses. Then wrap well in a mantle of charity, keep warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion, and serve with peaches and cream.
When thus prepared, they will keep for years!"