Arlene & Terry: Well, those little matches decided to create a big ’ole fire. Terry, Arlene, and the older kiddos make it out safely. But, where is maybe-devil baby? Oh no. The house just blew up. Not to worry. Maybe-devil baby is safe and sound…and so is the creepy baby doll. Apparently, the little one was already outside, sitting on the lawn with his dolly. Yeah. Arlene scoops baby Mikey into her arms. Mikey looks over his mom’s shoulder and sees a woman smiling at him. He giggles and grins while the mysterious woman waves at him. When Arlene turns to see who has her baby so entertained, the woman was gone.
Note: Now that we have a vanishing mystery woman in the mix, can we attribute all the weirdness to her? Maybe it’s not Arlene’s crazy ex or the baby after all.
Sookie & Eric, Part I: Oh my! It’s on! We have heaving making out and the shedding of clothes here, folks. On the couch they go! Eric begins kissing her body as he, ahem, heads down…and in storms Bill in full-on fang mode. Bill, you are trying my last hormone! King Bill attempts to start a vampire showdown, but it doesn’t last long: Eric whips him pretty bad. The Viking vamp was about to stake Bill, but Sookie tells him Bill is his King. Eric falls to his knees and apologizes to a bewildered King Bill. The king arrests his former superior and throws him in a cell with Pam.
Pam & Eric: “It smells like death in here,” said Eric. “It’s me,” whimpered poor rotting Pam. Eric commands her to remove the blankets covering her increasingly rotting face. She tried to tell her maker what a little power hungry punk Bill is and that the old Eric hated him. Eric didn’t want to hear it; he doesn’t want to be who he was before losing his memory.
Sookie & Bill: Sookie begs Bill to release Eric, but, naturally, he refuses, the stubborn mule. They proceeded to exchange low blows: “My entire existence does not revolve around who or what is between your legs.” Ouch, Bill, really nice. Sookie refused to leave without Eric. This prompted Bill to remove Sookie and order his men to arrest her should she ever show up on his premises again. Jealous jerk.
Andy & Holly: Well, Andy’s still jumpier than a drunken cricket, but he does manage to make a play for Holly. It wasn’t the smoothest play, considering Holly’s house was severely damaged in the fire. But, I reckon it worked, since she conceded to a burger date at Merlotte’s.
Alcide & Debbie: Dang, Alcide is in a shirt. Anyway, Debbie has decided to join the Shreveport pack, much to Al’s chagrin. Marcus tells him they need a strong figure like him in the pack, especially during these troubled times. Debbie convinces Al to join her at the pack meeting later that night. She feels this is crucial to her recovery. Before, all she had was Alcide, and when she lost him, she lost everything…like her mind.
Note: How long before Debbie goes crazy? Honestly, she just strikes me as being on the ragged edge.
Sam & Tommy: While Sam dealt with the fallout of the fire (he owns the property), he called his still troubled brother to help manage things at Merlotte’s. Tommy reluctantly agrees. Before heading out, he had a little hate fest with himself and began violently hitting his head. This had quite the result: It turns him into Sam! Hello, Skinwalker!
Sookie , Tommy-Sam, & Maxine: Oh, no, I do NOT like Tommy! Tommy-Sam just fired Sookie! Not cool. He sure seems to be enjoying his faux role as big brother Sam. Strutting around the joint like he owns it, Tommy-Sam got a rather rude awakening when he ran into Maxine. She proceeded to tell him what a good-for-nothing Tommy was for leaving her; she called Tommy stupid and said he is dead to her. This appeared to have devastated Tommy.
Tommy-Sam & Luna: Dear heavens, Luna slept with Tommy-Sam. This is so not good. She seemed a little surprised by the sex—it was like they were strangers. Well, duh. Tommy-Sam started feeling super sick and cruelly (in a bad way) tossed Luna out of his house, even throwing her dress in her face. After some harsh parting words, Luna stormed out. Soon after her exit, Tommy-Sam shifts back to annoying-Tommy and…ew…pukes. Sam later returned to find his brother unconscious with icky internal-organ-looking puke next to him.
Note: Way to go, ya little brat! Just screw up my new favorite couple! Ugh, can Tommy please leave the show now? I’m really, really tired of him.
Sookie & Jason: Sook went looking for Jason and found him handcuffed to the bed. He told her he’s afraid he’s going to turn into a werepanther after being bitten. Sookie said she will stay with him, but Jason is terrified of hurting her. Later that night, while Sookie popped inside to get him a fresh beer, Jason took off. Naturally, Sookie went after him, shotgun in hand. Why do I have a feeling she’s going to run into someone other than Jason?
Lafayette, Jesus, and the Grandfather: Gramps isn’t too keen to help Jesus. Before he will help, he requests a sacrifice. While out in the night, Lafayette wonders why they don’t just grab a rabbit and go back. Jesus explains that the sacrifice has to come to them, and it did…in the form of a rattlesnake. Have I mentioned how much snakes bother me?
The grandfather’s pregnant girlfriend or wife or whatever locks the door while Gramps cuts his arm over the fire. He says this is the same magic Marnie is using; she is dangerous and wants possession at all costs. He then had the snake bite Jesus and told Lafayette to save him. Lafayette is clueless until a strange spirit man named Tio Luca possesses him. Tio speaks a spell that heals Jesus. Once over, Tio leaves Lafayette’s body. It doesn’t appear Lafayette has any memory of what happened.
Marnie & Antonia: Marnie was scratch happy in her cell as she continued to try and convince Antonia to possess her. Once again, she mentally time travels to the year 1610. This time, she sees Antonia being fed upon and eventually raped by Luis, the Louisiana sheriff who told of her abilities at the end of last week’s episode. While burning on the stake, Antonia forces the vampires into the sun. When Marnie returns to present day, Antonia appears to her in her cell, eerily whispers her name, and possesses her…for real this time. Marnie is now Antonia.
While watching her on the monitor, Luis instantly knows Antonia has returned. He foolishly goes to confront her, but she’s far too strong for him. She forces him to retract his fangs and fall to his knees. We have a powerful witch, here…and she’s on the loose.
Eric & Bill: Bill recommended the true death for Eric, to which Nan agreed. In the moments before King Bill was to kill Eric, our hot Viking asked the King for a few favors: release Pam, and tell Sookie he was born the night she found him, that he can face death knowing what it means to love, and thank you. He also said he hopes Bill and Sookie find their way back to each other after he’s gone because she deserves happiness.
Tara & Naomi: Naomi shows up on Lafayette’s doorstep looking for Toni/Tara. Tara comes clean on everything. Though Naomi is understandably ticked, they make up and make out. Later that night, they go to Merlotte’s for some dinner. Tara seems a little uncomfortable when Jessica waits on their table. I’m guessing she didn’t want to expose her girlfriend to the Bon Temps weirdness quite so suddenly. Little did she know it was about to get a lot worse. Jess, all bubbly and happy to finally be a server, begins taking their order when she sprouts fangs and takes off. After dinner, while out in the parking lot, Naomi thinks she likes Tara better than Toni after all. They share a flirtatious moment when Pam shows up to seek revenge on Tara in a big way. Hello, fangs, rotting skin, and lightning fast speed! Welcome to Bon Temps, Naomi!
Jason & Jessica: Jess abruptly left Merlotte’s because she sensed Jason’s fear (that vamp blood forms a powerful bond). Jess is worried about Jason being out at night alone. He tells her about the whole werepanther deal before feeling dizzy and sick to his stomach. Jess helps him regain his strength and tells him to focus on a happy place…which he does…staring at her breasts. Oh, dear, does Jason have a crush? Reminiscing on the night she turned, Jess vowed to stay by his side and not let him go through it on his own.
After a while, Jason realizes he’s not going to turn. He asked Jess if she would go back to being human. According to Jess, she wouldn’t go back. Even though there are things she misses, like sunlight, she’s strong and fast and nobody can hurt her. Jason admits growing up with Sook was difficult; he always wondered why she was chosen to be special and not him. Surprised and moved, Jessica points out his success as a quarterback, as a ladies man, and then shyly tells him to look at himself...he couldn’t be anything but special. Uh-oh. We have a connection here! They began the uncomfortable babbling song and dance with Jason reminding her (and himself, I would think) that Hoyt’s his best friend. They both agree not to share any of this with Hoyt.
Note: I LOVE Jessica and Hoyt together, but I must admit I’m really liking the connection between Jason and Jess. Oooh, I’m confused! Hoyt and Jess are one of my favorite couples!
Sookie, Alcide, & Debbie: While out looking for Jason, Sookie runs into Al and Debbie, who are on their way to a pack meeting. Alcide is still in a shirt. Just sayin’.
Sook asks if a bite can turn a human into a werepanther. Debbie says it can’t happen unless a parent was pure blood panther. Al adds that it’s hereditary, not a virus you can catch, and then asks what’s wrong. Sookie , looking relieved, says everything’s fine and she can handle things from here. Al watches her leave and even looks like he wants to go after her. Debbie recognizes this, gets a tad ticked, and says, “I think Sookie’s saying she can take care of her own business.”
Note: Alcide cares for Sookie and I think it goes deeper than friendship. Maybe it’s a subconscious longing. Once again, how soon before Debbie cracks? And might it be the bond between Al and Sookie that sends her over the edge?
Bill: Alone, on his porch, standing in the moonlight, Bill looks sad and lost. The next scene explains why.
Sookie & Eric, Part II: Still unable to locate Jason, Sookie finds something much more enticing: Eric. Eric tells her the King set him free. Those were the last words they spoke. They lost themselves in each other’s arms…and made love right there in the moonlight.
Note: I would like to personally thank the production crew of True Blood for the female friendly camera angles.