Monday, October 3, 2011

Mocking Makeup & Hidden Meanings

My makeup is mocking me.

Okay, maybe it’s not really mocking me, but it is chock full of irony. 

I received this eye shadow set as a complimentary gift for spending money my loyalty. 

Just have a look at the names of the eye shadows: 

You see correctly. 

When I saw it, I had the following reactions:

* Eye roll
* Laugh
* Immediately look for a hidden meaning

  1. We begin with Heaven, a nice whitish-beige hue. Meaning: Obviously it’s saying I’m an unearthly angelic being. *ahem* We’re going with this meaning ’kay?  

  1. Push-Up, a shiny taupe color. Meaning: My choice of dates might improve if I invest in a push-up bra. Bit crude.

  1. Silver Spoon. Meaning: Until I get that push-up bra, I will need said spoon for indulging in copious amounts of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and Captain Crunch cereal.  Jackwipe.  We must improve from here.

  1. Moving to a lovely matte black shadow called Smolder.  Meaning: Ah, well, this is simply telling me I need to work on the sexy.  Fair play.

  1. Ooh, the shimmering, pinkish Satin Sheets is next. Meaning: Start improving on the sexy by getting a pair of pink satin sheets.  My favorite color and encouraging shopping?! This one is a winner.

  1. The crème de la crème, Like A Virgin. Meaning: Well, it’s just stating the obvious, isn’t it? I mean, apart from the “like,” since I actually am a virgin.  Thank you for the unnecessary reminder. I’ll just be a smoldering virgin in my satin sheets, thank you very much.

  1. Honeymoon. Hurray! Meaning: The virgin moves to a golden honeymoon! Quite like this one. Want to stay on this one.

  1. Ever After! Wait, we move from Honeymoon to Ever After! Oh, I do like this! Meaning: Happily Ever After. *swoon & embarrassing girl squeal I will only do in private*

So, my angelic self should invest in a magical bra with man-alluring powers while realizing I must drown my woes with a few thousand silver spoonfuls of ice cream.  Eventually, I will somehow find my inner sex-kitten and smolder underneath some pink satin sheets until he comes along. Then, this little virgin gal will honeymoon her way to happily ever after. Hurray!

Oh no. Slight dilemma. I can’t possibly use this eye shadow set now! Using it would make it all messy, gunk up the words, and possibly, inadvertently jinx the potentially accurate hidden meaning…you know, the one I made up…for myself…yeah. 


  1. Haha awesome! It's so good that you could find hidden meanings in their names!

  2. 'Like a Virgin' isn't supposed to be used by virgins. That would be like adding sugar to honey. What you need is an eye shadow called 'Like a hoochie' to produce an interesting contrast.

  3. Oh my...the names they come up with for make up nowadays!

    Love your 'translation' of them, lol! :-)

  4. Gorilla Bananas and I think alike in this naming of the shadow.

  5. This should just be called the "The Frisky" since nearly that entire set is SO you! :) Too bad you don't do self portraits on this blog, so we can see you all "done up". I bet you would look fab.

  6. "Smoldering virgin in satin sheets"? Stop, you're getting me hot :p

    This was so funny :)

  7. That eye shadow is definitely prophetic! No doubt!

  8. That is great. haha. I love the set...who knows maybe wearing those colors lands you the man of your dreams. :)

    ps...gorilla made me laugh out loud at the "like a hoochie"

  9. Hazel: It was like this automatic thing--I had to find meaning! lol

    GB: LOL--I promise you, I will actively seek an eye color with a name similar to that just to get that contrast! ;)

    chocolateangel: Seriously! I opened up, all excited to see the colors, but the names totally distracted me. lol

    Carole: :) You know, I will have to find a hoochie-esque eye color now.

    David: Isn't it ironic? (oh, cue Alanis Morissette song) When I flipped that thing open, I really coudn't believe my eyes (oh, that's more irony...eyes, eye shadow).

    Aww, thank you so much--you know, I've been thinking about doing more pictures...maybe I will give it a go.

    Jay: *blushes* I'm really very tempted to buy pink satin sheets now, actually. lol

    Eva: I certainly hope so, especially the Honeymoon and Ever After parts. ;)

    Jewels: Hmm, so wearing them could snag the man, huh? Must think on that one. ;)

    GB always makes me laugh out loud! lol

  10. Haha! I love this...and gorilla and I are on the same page! Although I was thinking of something like French Whore.

  11. Hilarious, Frisky! Isn't it interesting that things formerly known as blue, off-white, etc. are now given such fancy-schmancy names. When I buy shoes, the shoes almost always have a name. I own JoAnne and Robin and all sorts of shoe people. I wonder how they feel about being on my stinky feet.


  12. Crazy Girl: LOL--I so have to go find a naughty-named eye shadow now!

    LOLA: LOL-I know! It's crazy! Everything has a cutesy name these days.

  13. Hey ,it is halirous.I love the way you write. You made me smile.

    Follow each other .

  14. izdiher: Thank you so much! That is so sweet of you to say and I'm so happy to have made you smile. :)

    Absolutely! I'll be happily following your blog! :)

  15. Cute palette of colors! I loved all your ironies! hahaha

  16. It's funny how you made your own interpretations, put them together then made up your own story.Haha!

  17. haha everything has such a ridiculous and/ or sexual name nowadays! it's amusing. that's cool you got free stuff though, free is always good.

    and hey, for this picture did you set the box on satin sheets? because those satin sheets look suspiciously like the eyeshadow satin sheets.

  18. Yvonne: :) Thank you! And you're back! Yay!

    with cherry on the freakin' top: :) I kind-of had to right when I saw it. lol

    That 20 Something Virgin: Nope, it's actually the underside of a pink blanket. The top side is fluffy and plush; the underside is satin-y. It's a favorite of mine and I've had it for years. I may have to get some pink satin sheets to go with it, though, especially after receiving those eye shadows. :)

  19. No, U have to use the magic eye shadows for their power to work. So that you can "see" these things come to pass in your life. Put it on while thinking about your future husband and honeymoon. When you have gradually used up your eye shadows that is when your wish will come true.

  20. Leyla: Oh, I really like this idea!!! You absolutely convinced me--I will wear the shadows and make my wish. Thank you so much!!! *Hugs* :)