Friday, March 4, 2011

When Static Meets A Good Hair Day

With winter comes snow, ice, frost, leaky windows, drippy roofs, and the most annoying house guest of all...static electricity.

Drag your feet, touch a light switch, get a shock.

Slide your bum from a nice, comfy La-Z-Boy, lift your laptop, get a shock.

Rest your locks against practically any surface (car, coat, chair, pillow), look like Beetlejuice...oh, and get a shock if ya touch anything.

After a week of hearing nothing but negative stuff out of Singletonville, I decided to fancy-up my Friday with a different look. So, with my hair sleek and super straight, I headed to the store. Now, the static hadn't really bugged me all day (translation: hair looked good, didn't want to disturb it, spritzed water on it to keep it from going Beetle-J on me). However, my tolerance level had reached its maximum.

Up it goes! I pulled out an ouch-less hair band and did a twisty knot atop my head. Usually, I don't worry about the twisty knot-do because it's usually fool proof.

Enter static.

Walking around the store, I noticed a few odd looks aimed at the top of my head. Ignoring them, I kept on course until I heard a child's giggle. Now, I'm not sure the child's laugh was directed at me or not, but it totally sent me into Paranoid Paty mode.

When I got to frozen foods, I very nearly gagged at the God awful reflection staring back at me from the frosty door.

Oh. Dear. God. 

What the frick was going on with my hair?

I looked like Edward Scissorhands' little sister.

My twisty knot was not a twisty knot, but some creature from the depths of ugly, split down the middle, flopping to each side of my head, while stray strands stuck up all over the damn place.

I've never seen anything quite like it. Horrendous doesn't begin to describe it.

Mortified, I headed to the always empty card aisle, yanked the band out of my hair, and madly fluffed my mane.

Bad move.

The static was now worse than ever. There was no fixing this. My once sleek, sexy hair was now freakishly alien.

Needless to say, I was quite happy to get home and put my hair up...properly.

Evil static.


  1. Haha, you are singing my song. My hair has looked ridiculous all week since my school's on winter break this week and I don't give a rat's derriere what I look like. Yeah, no straightener, no mousse, no frizz-ease, nada ... oh, I'm going to pay for my laissez faire attitude (or I guess you could say I already paid ... went out with some friends last night--after dancing around for three hours while chaperoning a dance--and got some mighty strange looks).

  2. I was praying for a picture to pop up at the end of this post so I could see for myself. Trust me I understand. The kids have made a game out of trying to shock people when they least expect it. I get shocked constantly anyway-but when it's done on purpose...insanity. My hair gets frizzy and out of control naturally and doesn't need additional help. Have a great weekend, sweets.

  3. this always happens to me in the winter! oi. not a good look. can't wait for it to finally warm up!

  4. Thank God it's not just me who has this issue! LOL I swear, I pull on a hoodie, and I'm screwed. Everything I touch has shocked me and it's driving me and my hair insane! LOL

  5. As a guy, I can safely say that I have no idea what anyone is talking about in this blog entry. :)

    Honestly, though, I've never heard of this phenomenon before. Is this really a winter-only deal?

  6. My hair doesn't really get static-y but I always get shocked when I touch metal!!

  7. Is it a Texas thing Frisky? I have been suffering from the same thing (minus the hair-do, lol) all week!!! It's insane!

  8. lol i have very short hair so i have no idea how this at all works on ladies.

    Your post made me lmao.

    Thank you Virgin's hair for making it blog fodder and cracking me up.

  9. I think men have the ability to block feelings of inadequacy till later. It’s quite convenient at times like this.

  10. Although you described it well, I really wanted to see a photo!

  11. Static has made me have my hair in a braid for like two weeks now. It's sooo tedious to be really sick of ones own hair. Nothing makes me want to cut it all off like shaking it a little and it all sticks to your face.

  12. I laughed out loud when I read this. That woke up the cat. She rubbed against my leg. Now my yoga pants are sticking to my shins and her fur is standing on end! Gotta love winter static.

  13. I too would have loved to see a picture of the high flying hair-do, but I know that I wouldn't risk taking my own picture these days because I'd be afraid that I'd short out the camera.

    Let's just say that hubby has learned over the last several months to "ground" himself before he kisses me goodnight. And I've had my hair in a ponytail since December.

    I'm a new follower, but I'm actually an old friend who's just moved to a new neighborhood. Well, make that long term friend. Old just sounds so.... old. Stop on by and say howdy if you get a chance.

    Blessings and Peace,
    Mrs B

  14. Aww, I wanted to see the alien hairdo, too.

    My hair doesn't really static much, but I don't enjoy the shocks a bit.

  15. Static is truly oppressive. Sorry you were attacked. I'm guessing it did not look as freaky as you think. In fact, it's kind of the "in" look now. Right?

    PS Thanks for your supportive comments. It's good to be back in bloggyland.

  16. OH WOW. That sounds so awful. Wanna hear a story? It's called Lexie wakes up at 8:30 to use the restroom and clogs the toilet. Lexie decides to flush toilet. Water rushes everywhere. Lexie spends 30 minutes trying to dry the floor. 3 minutes after she finishes mopping up the horribly wet, dirty, nasty floor, someone walks in. Mortified, Lexie sneaks out hoping no one notices wet floor.

    And that's how I spent my first morning back to school.