Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Christmas Music Hates Me (Yesterday's Merry Fun)

Last Night: Boring day. Still, much to tell in another post, thanks to some rather opinionated friends and family. Spent night enjoying Christmas music on the radio until...I-wish-I-had-someone-at-Christmas tune came on. Fine. Okay. Breathe. Next song is sure to be Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer or Frosty The Snowman.  Hmm.  Don't recognize new song.  Oh My Holy Santa.  You're-my-Christmas-miracle-and-I-love-you-forever song. Hateful.

Immediately shut off cruel radio and turned on Alanis Morisette. This worked until I remembered she is now happily married and expecting her first baby. Singletonville's greatest angry resident is no more...she has crossed to the other side, where grass grows green instead of brown...or at least where there are green patches.

Bit of news coming from Wasn't (last week's conversation): He has a girlfriend. Things have gotten tough, and he calls me. For the first time, we really TALKED. He opened up. I finally got to be the friend I wanted to be with him--giving advice, helping, etc.  STILL, things were said by him...things that tend to muddy the friendship waters.

Bloody hints.

He has a girlfriend and I'm not a home wrecker, never have been, never will be. Sticking to the surface with Wasn't--friend only.

Today, early evening: My brain hurts from thinking. Next post will be revealing. Right now, am tired with headache and in desperate need of a quick nap, Advil, and ice bag.

Sigh, I see they continue to play lovey Christmas songs I've never heard until now. Friendly. Shut off music entirely. No music, no thoughts...apart from BFF's statement made yesterday: "Wasn't wants to be with you. If you were there, his current girlfriend would be out the window. He just needed a warm body." 

Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better.


  1. It sounds like Wasn't wants to have his cake and eat it too. I'm wondering how nice he actually is and how sincerely he cares about you.

  2. You need a great big ginormous, Canadian sized bear hug from me... so: HHHHHHUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGG!

    Tomorrow will be a better day!

  3. I don't know about Wasn't, I do have my doubts. How about listening to some Thanksgiving songs instead? Less thinking that way..

  4. I went to the mall last night and heard Christmas music for the first time this holiday season. I personally like to get through Thanksgiving prior to listening to Christmas music. I completely understand how music can effect your emotions though...I have had to do the same thing.

    I am glad that you can keep things distant and in perspective with Wasn't. I know how hard that is (hence my recent blogs) but if things didn't work out the first time I'm sure there was a reason. I know it's tough to stop caring, especially when you'd love it if they did, but love shouldn't hurt. *at least that is what I keep trying to tell myself*.

    Stay strong, sweetie!

  5. that would DEFINITELY not make me feel better. :(