Tuesday, November 30, 2010

"My Doctor Is A Woman. Damn it."

Slowly, but surely, I'm catching up on blogs. My mom went to the doctor for a routine test. About an hour after my mom arrived at the doctor's office, my phone rings.

Me: "Hello?"

Mom: "Hi, honey! I'm at the doctor's office. You know, you're right, they really do smell...doctor's offices. Anyway, they did the test and we are waiting on some preliminary results."

Me, trying to keep the worry out of my voice: "How do they think you are doing? Have they said anything at all?"

Mom, gasping: "Well, I didn't have any pain or swelling or anything like that. Pushed all over me. Wasn't thrilled, but was very happy when nothing hurt! They said my symptoms sound pretty basic."

Me, relieved: "Well, that's good news! Basic is good, right?"

Mom: "Yes, but..."

Me, frantic: "But, what?"

Mom: "My doctor is a woman. Damn it."

Me, perplexed: "Um, what?"

Mom: "I was hoping for a single man, kind-of like Keanu Leeves--"

Me: "Reeves."

Mom: "Oh, yes, of course...anyway, you know, from the film Something's Gotta Give? But, no, I get the woman. She's very nice, though."

Me: "You wanted Keanu Reeves. How did Dad take that one?"

Mom: "Oh, sweetie, not for me...although I wouldn't stomp my feet, whine, and run at the prospect of him treating me...might be the only time I'd willingly slip into one of those hideous little gowns, but...no, no, for you."

Me: "For me? What?"

Mom: "Don't you worry, I've got my eyes peeled."

I just couldn't help but laugh. Only my mom goes in for medical stuff and makes it her intention to sniff the place out for a single man for her daughter. After receiving a new medication, my mom left the doctor's office and called to let me know she was unsuccessful at spying a single man. Alas, there weren't any single men that she saw. In fact, I believe her exact words were, "All women. Unbelievable. Not a man in sight. Very unlucky. If I have to go back, you can bet I'm asking!"

I love my mom. Not loving the need for her to try and set me up, but I think that's just Mom 101...it's in their DNA. Comes with the territory. 


  1. I'll take one of those women doctors.

  2. That's actually kind of sweet. I had the same kind of situation today and instead of appreciating it, well it just made me cry. I suppose I should try and look at it from a place of love but instead it just made me feel like a failure.

  3. That is too too cute! I would run and hide if my mom found a man for me...

  4. You're mom sounds adorable, much like yourself!

  5. Sometimes when my mom, or even my grandmother, do stuff like that I laugh. Other times it's aggravating. Sometimes I wind up reacting like Jewels - it can make you more sad than you already are. Even when you know your family only wants you to be happy.

  6. Incredibly sweet! lol Of coure if it was my mom doing that, I would cringe at the thought! lol

  7. That is so funny and totally adorable!