Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Why Wednesday: Why Waste All This Time Being A Virgin?

Her: Why are you wasting all this time?

Me: Are you seriously asking me this?

Her: You're not going to be young forever...why waste all this time when you could be having sex with guys, find out what you like, see what different guys have, you know? It's crazy. There's nothing wrong with screwing around until you find the one. You should just go pick a guy up, get crazy, and start having fun.

Me: Well, thanks for your opinion.  The one I didn't ask for...why do people always do that?

Truth: With every bad date--every nightmare date--every birthday, and every empty New Year's Eve and/or Valentine's Day, the idea of wasted time more than crosses my mind. Sometimes, I cry. There, I said it. I cry. Don't we all from time to time? Anyone who answers 'no' to that question is a flat out liar, by the way.

Thing is, I don't want to have sex just to get it over with and start "having fun." If I starting having sex to avoid wasting time, wouldn't that be another way of wasting time? Laying down with someone just to have sex is, in effect, wasting time--there would be a lack of feeling, love, something deeper.

Conclusion: Maybe I am wasting time, but I'd be wasting time either way--having random sex or not having sex at all. What I want is love. Period.


  1. Well put. I found that New Years and Valentine's are just not my holidays. Half the time, even my birthday isn't that awesome. I cry most of those holidays, because I'm typically all alone.

    Even if your friends don't fully understand why you've chosen to wait, they should still respect that's your decision to do so. Not theirs.

    I waited until I was in my mid-twenties. And I don't go for it with every guy I date. I date them quite awhile before I even consider it. So, needless to say, a very long time can go between . . . you know.

    Keep your chin up. One day, you'll find him and it will be worth it. :o)

  2. And love is what you deserve! He'll turn up eventually. You definitely are NOT wasting your time.

  3. Oh -- and the right guy will sincerely appreciate you waiting for him. And you'll have a special bond with him that none of your friends will have with the people they end up with.

  4. P.S. I've sent an award your way! Go check it out!

  5. I guess the other side of it is "why waste time being a slut?" lol....
    at least a virgin isn't wondering what to do about their STD or their unwanted to the slut that is worrying...

  6. You're not wasting your time. You're being practical and you know what you want and don't want. I waited until I was 30 to have sex. It was all for the right reasons and in the end, well worth it! Who cares what others think or say? Someone will always be angry, disagree, judge, torment, etc. Screw them! -no pun intended of course! lol

  7. Stick to you guns, my friend. Don't let anyone else's idea of what is right or wrong define you. You are an extrememly capable, strong, independent woman and not only is that somewhat rare in our world today, it is awesome!


  8. Maybe you should suggest that she lets you make decisions concerning her life for a year and after she does that for a year, you will do what she thinks you should do. She how quickly she jumps on that deal. I'm thinking it would be a no go.

  9. ahhh...the unwanted advice have to love them. Clearly they know best what will work for you in your own life. All these blogs about the drama that sleeping with the wrong men create...why wouldn't you want that.
    Stick to your guns sweetie!

  10. At the end of the day, the only person who counts in this scenario is you and the only person who has to be happy with the decisions that you make is you, and if you want to wait until you find that unconditional. heart warming, make you quiver to your knees and pulse racing kind of love, then you should, because you deserve that kind of love! xxoo

  11. I'd rather be alone ( and had been for many years before I met Bud) than have sex with a bunch of losers. At least I could respect myself in the morning and not feel like a skank. You're not missing anything when the sex would have only been "okay" at best! why eat the junk food when you can have a gourmet meal that takes a little longer to make? Hang in there!

  12. My response when reading what she had the guts to say to you was: "OHHH HELLLL NO, BITCH."

    I got that ALL the time, so I know what that's like, bud. My favorite now is "Oh, you were both virgins when you got married? That must've been awkward..." WTF!?!?! Are you kidding me? It's more ()$@#*# special than you'll ever know, you damn whore...

    GRRR...Haha. What that girl said to you is making me really, really pissed off. I wish I could've been there with you and smacked her. But then, I suppose that wouldn't have been as mature as how you handled it. *ehem* :P

    Stick to your guns, Frisky. Love will find you. Guarantee it. People like her have fun with their meaningless sex, hollow hearts and STDs...

  13. I think that you are simply great. No matter what your friends say, no matter how much fun it can be, sex is a BIG deal. You have made a commitment to yourself that you will wait until you feel something deeper than lust and I think that it is marvelous that you have not given into the pressure. Keep it up- it will be worth it in the end.

    Professional Freak show in Heels

  14. Love will find you! I just know it...just keep thinking positive (and I know that is can be rough). You deserve to find someone just wonderful who will apreciate you!

  15. Thank you all for your support! I hope you all are right and he's out there somewhere-no idea how I'll ever meet him.

    Jen--I swear, you made me laugh my rear end off.