Thursday, November 4, 2010

Stereotype #10: Virgins Make Bad Girlfriends

This is one of my absolute favorite stereotypes. (Kindly note the sarcasm)

There are two basic tiers to this theory:

Tier One: Immaturity

This perplexing little gem of a stereotype-tier originates from "man's belief" (sources remain unnamed...Kyle The Prick) that virgins have less relationship experience to draw from since they don't "give it up."  Therefore, virgins are increasingly unable to maturely handle common relationship issues/roadblocks. Hence, we are apparently decidedly less mature than girls who have had shall I put this...bone.

**It should be duly noted that Kyle's ex-girlfriend handled their break-up like a truly mature, experienced woman...wonder if he's gotten around to repainting his car.

Fact: Because many virgins intend to remain pure, for want of a better word, until they find love and/or marriage, it is likely fewer men are willing to give it a go with us. This, admittedly, results in less relationship experience. Does that mean we are ill-equipped to handle adversity in a relationship? Absolutely not.

Let me tell you, contrary to semi-popular opinion, it takes an enormous amount of strength, energy, self-preservation, and just plain thick skin to walk down the virgin road. That, my dear naysayers, is called maturity...and it starts pretty early, especially considering how young  people are having sex these days.

You don't walk the virgin road and wear a badge of giggling, idiotic, school-girl. You learn very early to hold your head high, no matter how many times someone tries to punch you in the stomach...and they will...and it hurts. You grow from the gain mature.

By my senior year in high school, girls were coming to me for all sorts of advice, despite the fact I hadn't "been there, done that." I saw things very clearly with regard to other people's relationships.  Perhaps it's a consolation prize of having to surviving all that comes with the "virgin" label.

Tier Two: No Sex (Duh!)

Well, who would guess this one, right? Eventually, according to some, men will grow tired of said virgin because...drum roll, please...they aren't getting laid! Just kick me in the gut and color me happy! I could never have guessed this one is a zillion years! Ugh.  (Again, note sarcasm)

Fact: Some men will cut and run after so much time. Others will quite literally leave rubber (aw, heck, pun intended...why not?) to get away from a virgin the second he finds out the truth. These men are NOT worth your time or tears.

Then there are those who remain by your side....for YOU...for who YOU are as a person. If a man can see a future with YOU, it shouldn't matter if you are a virgin or if you have slept with over half the county. It's about the's about love. 

Bottom line: There is a lot more to a relationship than sex. Oh, it's important, don't get me wrong, but it's not everything. Virgins just start from the bottom and work up--we delicately, gently, caress each relationship block, softly putting them together to build the rock hard foundation we need before we become one with  our bodies. Just consider it a nice long period of constant, non-stop foreplay for the soul, mind, and body. 

Stereotype #10: SLAYED.


  1. Listen darlin..... who the hell cares what others think. There opinion means nadda. In the end, we have to be proud of the road we take in life. This is the road you have chosen, am personally exceedingly proud of you for sticking to what you believe in, for what it is worth. In all honesty, there are men out there who actually do love you for who you are and not what you are willing to do to keep that love around you, my better half is a prime example. Personally, for me, sex is not the intimate part of our relationship, holding hands is, cuddling is, sharing our dreams together, being in the moment with our thoughts and emotions, those are the things that bind us in our relationship. Sex is just the icing. Everything else is the cake. I really honestly believe that the right man is out there when you are actually ready for him. Keep going your path sweetie, it's the perfect one for you!

  2. Yep, I agree. Just flip the bird at those who don't understand. How would they know what a virgin knows, since they've all be "deflowered" many moons ago?

  3. Hee hee.flip the bird. Virgins make the best girlfriends (and I'm making this up by the way) because you know that the person you're with is with you because he loves you. Not because he thinks you're gonna give it up at any moment so you have more to give him. Oh please. I don't mean to be offensive but sometimes,boys are dumb. Period. I think you are an inspiration to all of us Frisky and you just keep being amazing!

  4. You must make better girlfriends because you know who you are, where your values lie, and what you want out of a relationship. You are upfront and don't pretend to be something else just so that he'll like you. You are who you are, a strong, capable, sexy, flirty, and sexual being...with or without the sex.

  5. Best slay ever. (Get it? Like best "LAY" ever? You made a pun...) I really hope there are some 17-year-old girls who are crazy in first love reading this.

    But really. Are you seriously leaving us hanging on The One That Wasn't? Shame!

  6. Whoever started this myth was obviously in IDIOT. Probably got their heart broken by a virgin or something. I find it interesting however that kids in school mocked you then came running for advice. Hypocrites are everywhere.

  7. Completely agree with all of these. (Though, I don't think all guys are like that. I tend to ignore male stereotypes just as much as I ignore female stereotypes--there are exceptions on both sides.)

    I agree that being a virgin makes you have to mature very quickly. When I was walking the Virgin Road, it was so hard to hold my head up and tell myself to stick to my beliefs and my guns. It's especially hard when you do meet those guys (or girls) that cast you off as only "friend" material because you won't "give it up." That's just low and wrong and it is sickening that our society has fallen to that level...

    Er, anyway, I'm starting to ramble again. :X
    I think you get I'm agreeing with you, so I'll stop now. :)

  8. I think this is great, and if I could go back and do it all over again, I'd have the same philosophy as you. I have a friend who is 35 and is waiting for marriage. Her philosophy that she shares with her boyfriends: "Don't you like knowing that nobody will have had this except you?" I think that's brilliant!
    Great post!

  9. I read this all with my eyebrow lifted. Was still expecting some bits of reality in it. This is so not true, you should edit the post and caps that 'slayed' in a 72 font size.

    It's probably exactly reversed: Virgins make best girl/boyfriends. I mean those that are virgins by choice. Because you get to see all the good and the bad around you and by the time you find that special someone, you have it all figured out.

    My best friend and the person I go to when in need to rant about the boyfriend, is a virgin. And he gives the best advice ever, he's incredible. Not kidding.

  10. InnocentlyGreen: I'm so glad you stopped by my blog. I have very much enjoyed reading your thoughts.

    I'm so glad you said what you did here--friends come to me for all sorts of relationship advice, despite the fact that I'm not "worldly," so to speak. It's true about being able to see things ridiculously clearly. I'm hoping (and do believe) that you're right about virgins seeing a great deal through others--the good and the bad--and that will help when we find our special someone.