Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Make Believe Marriage

Not long ago, some bride enthusiasts basically condemned my future happiness because I was the weirdo who didn't have her wedding all planned out, from gown and location to flowers and cake. Like I said, I'm not one to put the cart before the horse. Does this mean I don't want to get married? Nah, I don't think so. Could I have latent doubts about marriage, i.e. trusting someone won't break my heart? Well, come on, who doesn't?

After thinking back on my childhood behavior...Houston, we may have a problem.

Exhibit One, Kindergarten, The Princess Leia Mentality: While all the girls huddled around an oddly comforting plastic kitchen set during recess, I balked at the idea of faux-baking and instead accepted an invite by the boys to be Princess Leia in our Star Wars remake. The little girls all said, "If you go play with them, you can never play here." At the time, I didn't care. I'd rather sit in the little spaceship outlined in desks and pretend I'm leaving a message on R2D2 while running from Darth Vader. 

The potential problem--Rather than play little homemakers with the girls, I found greater happiness playing a stubborn, strong, independent, laser-gun-wielding princess.

The upside--Princess Leia, for all her strength and stubbornness, fell madly in love with Han Solo...and lived happily ever after. I added the last part. *blushes*

And speaking of Han Solo...

Exhibit Two, Kindergarten, Princess Leia Does The Unthinkable: One day, after narrowly escaping Darth Vader, the little boy who played Han Solo asked me to marry him. I said yes. *pause for the inevitable awwwws*  Young love is so sweet...that is until my friend told me during nap that she was really in love with the little boy I was now engaged to.  Oh, and she was sobbing.  I felt awful. So, what did I do? I gave him to her. I literally told him my friend is sad because she loves you and wants to marry you, so you need hold her hand.  Like a typical guy, he jumped spaceship. 

The potential problem--Princess Leia gave up her Han Solo!!! That can't be good. I mean, my mama always said I have the biggest heart she's ever seen, but still....Could I have unwittingly cursed myself by giving away my first faux-groom? Did I bust my own karma?

The upside--Well, I was well-intentioned...I hated seeing my friend sad. That has to count for something, right?

Exhibit Three, Make Believe Superheroes: This may be the most damning of all.  When I was little, I did, in fact, dress up and pretend to marry...Batman, Superman, and James Bond. Yeah. I blame my dad. The first male figures he introduced me to were quarterbacks for the Dallas Cowboys, superhero figures, and 007. The minute I heard, "Bond, James Bond," I was so the smitten kitten. I never pretend-married someone who couldn't fly, melt stuff with their eyeballs, throw a mean spiral, or perform outrageous escapes in a tuxedo. 

The potential problem--Well, hello? Superhero complex, anyone?

The upside--At least I did, you know, pretend to walk down the aisle (we won't mention the rather unique guest list at said wedding or the fact that my groom was in a bat suit and cape). 

Am I strong and stubborn? You bet your chicken fried steak I am.

Would I give my hubby away to someone else? Not on your life.

Do I secretly hold men to an impossible standard? Nah, so long as there's trust and love, he'll be a superhero in my eyes.

Still, it might be kinda fun to, you know, dress up like superheroes and...well...

Meow, Batman.
Han, I'm a slave for you. 
Fly me to the moon, Superman.
I'm your Bond girl.  Shaken, not stirred, 007?


  1. Problem with the Bond scenario: He has sex with ALL the women, and marries none.

    Wait, to a lesser extent, Batman does that too...

    crap. sorry.

  2. love love love this post. I was married man a time in elementary school...maybe I doomed myself to a life of indecision. :O eeek. Then again any time you went down the double slide holding hands with a boy when you reached the were married. I blame my peers for making it so damned easy!

  3. Um. Hello? Who doesn't love Batman?

    He's a billionaire.

    He's handsome, deep voice, mysterious.

    AND he's got GADGETS!

    And really? What girl doesn't want a butler? Al the perks of being catered to, but with no worries about being cheated on. :)

  4. Lost.In.Idaho: Oh, God, you're right! I never even noticed that when I was little--I just really wanted to be a Bond girl or Bat...girl?...whatever. LOL Clearly, I've always been unwittingly attracted to emotionally unavailable men. That cannot be good.

    OT: ;) That makes me happy. :)

    Jewels: LOL--You're so right!!! It was so easy to be "married" and have a "husband" when we were little...I'll bet a sliver of that oh-this-is-so-easy mentality stayed with us until we grew up and really saw just how complicated it is.

    Julianna: Oh, well, the gadgets, I mean, hello?! Absolutely. I want the batmobile. And to know Batman can save the day and me at the same time? Priceless! ;)

  5. Oh my, yes Batman always did melt my butter...

    I loved this post, darlin'.~

  6. i barely even remember the early years of elementary school, but i do remember that i never had a 'boyfriend' or 'husband' or any of that...dang that would've been a cool story!

    and chicken fried steak is delicious!

    and giving away your husband as a kid, i think you were just being a good friend! that's actually really sweet! selfish kid me probably wouldn't have done that!

  7. Kat: lol--Thank you, sweetie! *Hugs*

    That 20 Something Virgin: lol--I do love me some chicken fried steak! I have a feeling you would have given your "husband" away as a child. *hugs*

  8. Hahahaha this was one of the best posts I've ever read. I personally think you should be proud for fleeing the little kid housewife thing and instead playing Princess Leia. I was like that when I was little; instead of playing House with all the girls, I played with Pokemon cards with all the guys (yes, they were cool back then).

  9. Anna: :) Thank you, sweetie! You know, I wouldn't do anything differently--the idea of flipping plastic food over a sticker-covered plastic stove just didn't do it for me. Give me an invisible spaceship any day of the week! lol I'm glad to know there are more girls out there who went against the playing house game. :)

  10. I gotta admit...hanging out with the boys is way more fun! Yes I love my "girlfriends" but the boys wear the capes. What about that Spiderman....he kisses upside down!

  11. Carole: Oh, it's so much more fun! Recess with the girls was boring! I didn't really know about Spidey until later--the upside down kiss definitely does it for me, though. LOL

  12. At least now I know i wasnt the only one with about 5 different girlfriends from TV shows and super heroes.

  13. I was always such a sucker for Superman. *sigh*

  14. Porkstar: I'm actually elated to hear that boys did the same kind of thing! Batman, Superman, and James Bond were my main "boyfriends," as I recall. Oh, and Han Solo. :)

  15. J. Day: Superman was super dreamy. :)

  16. Yeah, flying in the sky with Superman is cool and all, but I LOVE Batman and his sexy cave!!! :)

  17. Yvonne: LOL--I do love the Batman and his gadgets. Oh, I'd get into so much trouble! lol

  18. Loved this post! I can so relate to it. I also used to prefer playing with the boys (a pretend fight was so much more fun than playing with dolls), and I was also proposed to by a friend.
    Huge LOL to the image of Batman in his batsuit at your wedding! LOOOOL

  19. What do you think of blue monsters with eating disorders? *flexes*

  20. I must seriously have something wrong with me, cause I never had a marriage proposal in elementary school--and gee, all these years later, still no proposal! Crap. Maybe I should try a super hero. :)

  21. Frisky, that was a great post! Loved it! I used to dream I was superman, rescuing my family from all kinds of danger and catastrophy! And I played with Lincoln Logs more than I played with dolls. I still met my prince will, too!

  22. I loved Spiderman for years. A geek on one hand and a hero who can kiss upside down on the other. SWOON. A cross between him and Sean Connery as Bond would have my heart forever l suspect.

  23. Beliza: The pretend space wars were so much more fun than cooking with plastic food on a plastic kitchen set. LOL Should I be concerned that I married Batman in his suit and not Bruce Wayne in a tux? LOL ;)

    Drake: COOKIE!!! I love me some blue monsters with eating disorders! LOL And look at those muscles!!!! *Sigh* (Cookie monster was always one of my very favorites, truth be told).

    ms. caboo: LOL--Don't go for the super hero--it could cause a serious mental block for life! lol You have better--you have the real thing. :)

    Eva: :) *blushes* Thank you! Awww, you played Superman!!! So cute!!! I loved Lincoln Logs!!!!

    I sure hope you are right about prince charming. *Hugs*

  24. Number Eleven: Oh, make that a double SWOON--totally agree on a Spidey/Sean Connery combo!

  25. The only proper way a true friend would have handled that situation would be to tell you graciously that you were very sweet to give her Han Solo, but as a friend she couldn't take the love of your life either. The best friend compromise would be that neither of you would have him.

    As for that first one...

    Who in their right mind wants to play homemaker instead of Star Wars????

  26. You are so awesome! I loved Princess Leia too. She was bad a**! Good for you! I love this post.

  27. Batman, Miss Virgin? I think his heart belonged to the Boy Wonder. Bond was a man-ho, but Superman might have been right for you if he could avoid embarrassing you with his x-ray eyes.

  28. Chanel: Oh, she gladly took Han. lol House v. Star Wars--you would think everyone would want to play Star Wars, but I was literally the only girl. :/

    Rita: Princess Leia was SOOOOO bad a**! And thank you,sweetie. *Hugs*

    GB: Hmm, you have a point about Batman, although "my" Batman was circa Michael Keaton, if I recall correctly. lol Bond was definitely a man-ho, which I apparently overlooked as a child. Superman--loyal, superhero, can're right, he's the pick, even with the X-ray eyes. ;)

  29. DaydreamBeliever: Thank you so much! *Hugs*