Monday, December 20, 2010

My Ovaries Are Deadly Weapons...Apparently.

Wake-up: Huh? Is it already morning? Given the sun in my eyes, I'm assuming it is. Ick. Bad night. Little sleep. Crap dreams: Death Eaters (yes, of the Harry Potter variety) were after me; I didn't have a wand, so I threatened to smite them with my ovaries. Indeed. I told them my ovaries "...bite and are pissed at still being there, alone, unfertilized." I was saying this while flying backwards on a broom.

Truly, deeply troubling.

What's more troubling is how I intended to "smite" them with said ovaries.  Cringe. Mustn't think on it.

Should have known this would be a rough one from the second my toes touched the floor. Been moving furniture about my room--not an easy task when single, but I was determined. Moved my desk out and over about 1/2 inch. My newly painted big toe naturally found it. Hurt like hell. Chipped nail, very red, and, ah, of course it would start swelling a bit. Terrific. Now have Quasimodo toe.

Shower: While shaving, my razor apparently needed to shave my left middle fingernail. Fantastic. Now have strangely misshapen fingernail in manner of Phantom of the Opera's mask.

Quasimodo toe and Phantom bird finger. There are no words.

Lunch: No soda. Excellent. Replaced with water...boring, but healthy. Grilled chicken Caesar salad...and chocolate covered Christmas cookies.

Afternoon: Hmm, interesting news. According to Mutual Acquaintance, Mr. Bo Tangles is a little annoyed I didn't give in. In fact, according to Mutual Acquaintance, he said, "I couldn't get in."  Ewwy. Am now an inanimate a car with the keys locked inside. Yes, just the kind of man I'm looking for! Right.

Evening: Must wrap presents. Seriously. I love doing the bows, but the actual wrapping-paper-part is so not my thing.

My Dallas Mavericks are making me nervous...PLEASE WIN!!!!! OH GOD HELP ME...MARION MISSED A FREE THROW!!!!!

19.4 seconds remaining...12.9 seconds...Dirk makes his free throws...6.9 seconds...5.9...Dirk made his shots...OVER! MAVS WIN!!!! Great game!!! 'Nother tough road game coming up.


Overall, the most intriguing part of my day was recalling my dream--me, on a broom, locked and loaded with my smite-able ovaries. Maybe I could be a new superhero...Ovary Girl! Maybe not.


  1. what is up with ovaries today? George posted something about a woman's ovaries being weapons too! haha.

    I love Harry Potter but if they start using ovaries as weapons while battling Lord Voldemort in the last installment of the movie...well then I quit! haha

    Sorry you had a rough day but some Christmas music and wrapping will cheer you up! :-)

  2. Wow. I've had to weird dreams, but never once have my ovaries been involved. LOL Of course, I don't believe I've ever had Death Eaters after me, and I've never flown on a broom. But you'd probably look at me funny if I ever wrote about some my weirder dreams. LOL

    And Bo Tangles - NASTY. I can't believe he said that. Well, I can, actually, after what you've written about him. But still, that's just so WRONG. *shudders* Ewwwy is right.

  3. Ha! Ovary Girl -sounds catchy! lol Oh and Bo Tangles is an idiot. I NEVER tire of saying that! lol

  4. LoL. You're not the only one with wierd dreams, believe me. I could write a very, very long post about wierd dreams :)

    I agree with Yvonne - Mr. Bo Tangles is indeed and idiot. Why are you still dating him?

  5. I think that you ladies are a little tough on Bo, he's obviously quite taken with you. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he could be Mr. Right. I mean he says all the right things - "I couldn't get in", doesn't that make you ladies just want to jump his bones?

  6. Ah the bitterness of a boy who didn't get any. Tell him to Piss off..oh..and he'll NEVER get NEAR your ovaries!

  7. Ahhh, the ovaries dreams...the good old days. ;)

  8. LOL this made me very happy! Well not that you have various body parts that look like disfigured characters from books and musicals, but that you compared them to that hahahahaha

    and might i just say, that's the best dream i've ever heard. your ovaries are so bad ass ;D