Monday, September 27, 2010

Oh, So THAT'S Why I'm Different...

Gobsmacked girl: "You've seriously never done that?"

Me: "Seriously, I never have."

Startled girl: "Every girl has done it."

Me: "Maybe not every girl."

Startled girl: "Clearly."

Gobsmacked girl: "So, you have NEVER screamed and fawned over a celebrity? Seriously? Never? Not even when you were little or a preteen or a teenager?"

Me: "No, never, not even when I was little, preteen, or teen."

Gobsmacked girl & Startled girl: "That's so weird. Every girl has gone ape over a celebrity or an athlete."

A guy I used to know told me about a girl (over 25 years of age) he dated who went gaga over Bon Jovi--like date-ruining gaga. 

Here's the deal: Celebrities are people, just like you and me. They go to the bathroom, get gas, get colds & snotty noses, puke, pop zits, and every other embarrassing HUMAN thing. 

Little story: Went to see Whitney Houston in concert back when she could still sing (before the erratic behavior).  We had orchestra seats--we were so close, I could see if she had white powder around her nose (she didn't).  Her opening act was a group called 112.  When they started singing Anywhere, these scantily clad girls next to me started screaming, throwing their hands in the air, and jumping up and down. I was nearly knocked out by a flailing boob. 

While dodging wild arms and narrowly escaping the flying breasts, I subtly grooved to the music, when one of the leads walked across stage, pointed to me, and started singing some, um, suggestive lyrics (the part about she's calling me...that's all I can remember, aside from blushing intensely).  An odd lack of screams caught my attention: the previously attention-seeking girls next to me looked like they were going to crush me; the look in their eyes was borderline mad. I was fairly alarmed.

Moral of the story: Maybe the band member saw me because I was actually listening to the music and appreciating it, rather than screaming my fool head off, trying to get the guys on stage to show me attention.  Maybe, just maybe, some celebrities actually prefer being treated like human beings, rather than fish in a tank that people point and gawk at...just saying. 

Apparently, my lacking need to scream and fawn over celebrities makes me different. Fine by me. Now, that's not to say I wouldn't blush a little or have some sort of hormonal reaction if I ever met Johnny Depp...but those are purely biological reactions to rather effective stimulation. 


  1. Nope. Me neither. I guess there's 2 of us. -J

  2. This one had me cracking up, with the gobsmacked girl and all. I'm not much of a screamer either, I might have some similar hormonal reactions if I saw Russell Crowe, but I wouldn't scream at the man.....and Bon Jovi never did it for me....:)

  3. I was nearly knocked out by a flailing boob.

    I wish my concert experiences were like this :( Instead, I went to the Warped Tour twice and almost got killed in dirty mosh pits. Go figure.

  4. Well I have to say the following: I thought it was beneath me to ever and I mean EVER scream at a celebrity. My opinion, they get paid a whole lot of moula to entertain us so they better be good... that is until..... I was at a restaurant and John Travolta came up and asked me how the food was, I stood up in complete shock and before I could stop myself, I heard my voice scream at the top of my lungs: JOHN TRAVOLTA JOHN TRAVOLTA JOHN TRAVLOLTA! LOL... I think I feel a new blog post coming on! ha ha ha

  5. I really hate to admit this, but if you and I were to meet Johnny Depp for the very first time ever, I would shove you over and out of sight!

    I used to live near Hollywood. So I don't scream and go gaga over every star I see. I met Cher. I met Eric Stoltz. I met Laura Dern. You're right, they're only human. They pick their noses like the rest of us do.

  6. I am SO with you. I'm not like that either! Haha. I had a crush on Jonathan Brandis (seriously!) when I was like 8, but that was as far as I ever gone ape over anyone--celebrity or not.

    Just face it and embrace it--we're not like every other girl! :D

  7. The "knocked out by a flailing boob comment" is priceless xD
    I am not one of those screamers either. I had crushes over celebrities when I was a teenager, but they were always "realistic", meaning that I was always conscient that they were only fantasies and that the actual person behind the image was probably very different from it.
    The sad part is when you almost end up not enjoying the show because of all the screaming.
    Altough it can lead to pretty funny moments too :D

  8. PS: I just stumbled upon your blog and I have to say I really admire how you can just be so open about being a virgin. I am a 29-year-old virgin myself and not specially ashamed of it, but still, I am not one to advertise it either. Stereotypes are hard to fight and some people almost start running from the scary virgin xD
    Keep it up! I will surely stop by again :)