Monday, April 18, 2011


Well, after Friday’s Taxes And Singles post, I figured I better clarify a few things for any follower-friends (and new follower-friends) who may question my outlook on the single life. 

On Friday’s post, I received this comment from Anonymous:

Normally, I don't post anonymously, but I don't want your fan base yelling at me.

I love your blog. I honestly do. But it makes me so sad when I read posts like this. The premise of your blog, most of the time, is being a virgin and being proud of the fact that you're not just giving it up for free.

But the rest of the time? You just come across as one of those bitter, bitter single women. I'm sorry you don't have someone in your life right now. I'm sorry that other people in the world do. But just because you're single, I don't think the people who read your blog who are dating/engaged/married/whatever should have to feel badly about that fact.

Bitterness just isn't an attractive quality. The tax form isn't out to get you, or anyone else who's single. It's a one-size-fits-all form.

Let me say right up front: I am not bitter in any way, shape, or form; if for some reason you feel I am bitter, then I am truly sorry you feel that way—it’s not who I am.  I’m just a character like my mama—I joke about being single (like the tax form stuff) and being a virgin (like the cherry juice incident on New Year’s Eve). 

I’m not writing these posts with a horrible outlook on the world or foaming at the mouth from some deep-rooted hatred of being single. Heck, I write with a smile, not a scowl. Maybe it's an issue of my sense of humor not translating on occasion or for some people.

Of course I know the tax form isn’t out to get me like some pencil-sketch-monster from the Power Puff Girls (yeah, I was bored one night—cartoon network can be highly informative).  I reckon you can only know so much about a person through words on a blog, so it’s hard to tell if they’re serious or not. I get that. In person, I would have said the same, but with an added sprinkle of Texas drawl and a smirk to boot—y’all would get me then…hopefully. ;) 

Open Admission to Bitterness: The only thing I’m bitter about is Valentine’s Day, and that’s only because of crappy past V-Day’s (like getting stood-up when the guy found out I was a good girl—that stuff hurts, you know?).  Deep down, I know full well that one good V-Day will erase all those ickster feelings. Does that scream of bitterness to anyone? 'Cause it sure doesn’t to me.

To the Married/Engaged/Relationship Couples: I’m really sorry this commenter, who I assume may be in a relationship, felt sad when reading that post or other ones like it. I never want anyone who is in a relationship or married or engaged to feel sad because I’m single. It’s certainly not my intention. Hell, I’m not sad, so don’t you be, ya hear? ;)

I write about being a virgin…a single virgin. It’s all I know. I don’t know the other side of the coin—I don’t know what it’s like to be married or in love…I haven’t been there yet.  I reckon it's not so different from what the single characters did on Friends or Sex and the City...well, except that I'm a virgin in the single dating world. Good times.  Anyone who is happy with someone else is like sunshine to me because it solidifies my belief in finding the real thing out in this big old world.

The only time I call out a married/relationship/engaged person is if they blast me for my choices or do the whole belittling thing…and I do so because, well, they’re being downright cruel. So, yeah, I’ll post about those instances…but, again, I’m not crying in my milk.

I guess what I’m saying is this: For anyone who may think I spend most of my time cursing couples, while sitting in the corner of my room, crying my eyes out because I’m still single…you’re mistaken. I’m smiling my way through life, just like my mama taught me.

Will I shed a tear or two? Yes, I’m human.

Will I feel sad from time to time? Yes, I’m human.

Do I have days where I wish for someone special in my life? Yes, I’m human.

Will I ever hate on happy couples because they have something I want? Never, I’m human.

My hope runs deep—I wouldn’t be who I am and on this path if it didn’t.  I believe in something extraordinary—I believe in love. And if for some reason it never comes my way…I’ll still be smiling. 


  1. I can't believe someone would think that you are bitter. Sheesh.

  2. Excellently worded. I tend to go through long spells in Singletonville before another relationship comes along. 99.9% of the time, I'm happy. And like everyone, I have my moments. I'm not really jealous of my married friends because at this point, half of them are divorced and miserable. I find that your humor translates very well. Possiby because mine is similar to yours . . . or so it seems. ;o)

  3. Um, you don't HAVE to have someone in your life in "that" way. It makes ME sad that someone thinks you do. Your blog is your blog, and you happen to be a single virgin... you write about your experiences- there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

    Your Anonymous did not come across as malicious, she/he sounded genuinely concerned but sometimes that kind of concern is misplaced. I think your Anonymous meant well, but everybody knows your sense of humor. This person apparently had a moment of vulnerability in her own life, transposed that onto you without meaning to. It happens to the best of people all the time.

    I am single. I have been single for 10 years. Do I like V-Day? No. I am bitter about that but at the same time, it is what it is. Roll with the punches that life gives you. I've never felt that you criticized couples, ever.

  4. You my dear, are a breath of fresh air, an interesting read, adorable, and not bitter!

  5. "anonymous" obviously doesn't know you very well, by the sounds of it. Or maybe he/she just doesn't get your original blend of Texas humor. In any case, I applaud you my dear for not wavering from what you want and believe in. =^.^=

  6. OT: Thanks. :)

    J.Day: :) Agreed. Yes, I think we have very similar senses of humor. :)

    Fuzzy Bottoms: Thank you--that means a lot. :) And I agree, I do think he/she was genuinely concerned--I hope now he/she won't feel sad and know where I'm coming from.

    Carole: :) You are a sweetheart, thank you so very much. :)

    chocolate angel: Thank you. :) I figured I needed to address things in order to avoid any confusion, worry, or sadness. I don't want anyone to feel bad. :)

  7. i've never thought of you as bitter, probably most of the rest of us haven't either. sometimes sarcasm/ humor doesn't translate well when typed (or in texts..been there!) but i don't think there will be any doubt after this post :)

  8. Maybe you need to put one of those inane warnings that you find in other walks of life. You know, "Coffee is hot", "Don't stick hand in operating mower deck", etc.

  9. Just for my own clarification, even though I am married, I just wanted to say that I wasn't offended by your last blog entry. Personally I don't get the impression that you're attacking couples with your blog entries.

    I like coming here and reading your updates with all the humor you infuse into your writing. So don't change a thing, ever. :)

  10. Thank you for being you. I can only hope that I can have an attitude like yours. Like everyone else, I never thought you were bitter. I've always thought you had the best sense of humor.

  11. Brava, my friend! As usual, you handled that with grace, humor and dignity. You are one of the sweetest people I know and if "anonymous" doesn't get your sense of humor or your point of view, well.... I won't say what I'd like to so that this is still fit to print.

    Keep fighting the good fight, darlin'. You're one in a million!

    ~Mrs B

  12. Um. Totally off topic... PP Girls rock!

    I too, am a closet Cartoon Network fan. ;)

  13. Well said sweets. I believe that anyone who truly reads your posts or has been a follower for a long time knows your sense of humor, knows your kind heart, and knows that you are not one who is bitter, resentful, or hateful in any way shape or form. I hope that you have stopped letting their comment upset you. I personally don't put much stock in anyone who hides behind being anonymous anyway. Anyone with something to say, who means well and isn't malicious, will put their name to it. That is just me though. I love you, sweets. Keep being you because you ROCK! (In leather pants might I add...I still laugh thinking about that date story!)

  14. It's obvious anonymous doesnt have a sense of humor. I cnt believe someone would feel you're bitter :/

  15. That's a shame that Anon is reading you the wrong way, Frisky. They're missing what a lovely and optimistic person you are under, what I think is a brilliantly dry, sense of humour.

    You kick ass, darlin'. *hugs*

  16. I never got the impression you were bitter!

  17. You are a talented writer. I enjoy reading your blog and the humor your sprinkle it with from time to time. I didn't get the bitter "vibe" from your last post or from your blog. I guess it's all in the interpretation of the reader. Chin up doll!

  18. You don't come across as bitter. I think singledom has a stigma around it since Bridget Jones introduced the concept to the world.

  19. Aubree: :) Thank you, darlin'! Yeah, humor is a fickle thing sometimes when someone can't hear your voice or see your expression.

    George: Okay, that's hilarious. You never fail to bring the smiles.

    David: I'm really glad you said that--I would never want anyone in a relationship to feel badly for any reason. Promise I won't change. :)

    Average Girl: :) Thank you. *Hugs*

    Lex: Thank you, sweetie. I think you already face life with humor. You've got quite a strength about you--never change. :)

    Mrs. B: Thanks for that. *Hugs* I'll keep on keepin' on. :)

    Julianna: LOL Yeah, you know, it's a cute show! LOL Cartoon Network is super fun, isn't it? lol

    Jewels: Thank you, darllin'--you know how much I appreciate it. LOL--The leather pants have to go down in hilarious date hell history.

    kitkat: I'm glad you get my humor. :) Humor is such an individual thing, really--there are so many unique variations. Kinda cool, really.

    Kat: You are a sweetheart, thank you. *Hugs right back*

    Eva: I'm really glad! :)

    Yvonne: Thank you so much! You're right--it's all reader interpretation. I hope he/she won't feel sad now, and hopefully understand my humor a little better. :)

  20. Jenner: I'm glad. :) Yeah, you have an excellent point there!

  21. I guess humour is not the same for everone. I for my part don't feel like you're bitter at all. Do I feel a bit of underlying sadness sometimes? Maybe. But that's something I can relate to.
    As you so rightly say: You're human. And so is everyone reading your blog. It's sad to have to justify that to anyone...

  22. I think you’ve unwittingly become a symbol, perceived as a single woman who doesn’t need a man to validate her existence, and every time you make a ‘bitter’ post, it shatters those comfortable labels.

  23. Aw...sometimes people read into what we say the way they want to. That's just how the world works. Even in your valentine's guest post you wrote for me, I never thought you sounded bitter, but that's because I've gotten to know the facets of you and appreciate them. Perhaps this person is a new follower and hasn't gotten to know all the sides of you. Regardless, you never have to explain, justify, defend or otherwise anything that you have to say. Even if you are bitter,you have the freedom to share that here. And we'll always come and see what you have to say.

    I think we've all had our experiences with people who leave comments that impact us in one way or other. Doesn't mean anything about you. It's just an opinion. xo

  24. Beliza: :) Sometimes I do feel sad. I figure everybody does from time to time. It's part of life.

    Drake: Wow. That thought never crossed my mind. Really interesting take on it. :)

    Rita: Thank you, sweetie--I know I didn't have to explain or justify anything, but I really didn't want anyone to feel sad because they think I'm all bitter when I'm the farthest thing from it.

  25. You rock, FV!! I love your blog just like all the rest, and can endorse that you're not the least bit bitter or upset sounding. In fact, you make the rest of us single souls feel just a little bit better.. :D :D
    Loved it when you said "Anyone who is happy with someone else is like sunshine to me because it solidifies my belief in finding the real thing out in this big old world." because that is so true.
    Love and Hugs!! :) :)

    My blog address has changed, so find me now @Conquering the World

  26. I know I've only been following you for a week or two but I absolutely love you! I share the same outlook on life as you do and I'm another single virgin. Keep Smiling :D

  27. PencilGirl: Aww, thank you so much for that, sweetie! To make people smile or feel better--that's what life is all about. *Hugs*

    Jax: Well, if you aren't the sweetest person! Thank you so much! It's not an easy path, but it is a hopeful one. :) Like you said, keep smiling--that's what you have to do. :) *Hugs*

  28. I love this post.... it's the perfect example of how to stay strong and brillant when faced with someone raining on your parade..

  29. Star Lyte Princess: Thank you so much for your kind words! *Hugs*