Friday, April 15, 2011

Taxes and Singles

Taxes are usually a pain for everyone, but there are a few things on those bothersome forms that may feel like a bee sting in the eye for singles.

1. Check the Box: Just what singles need--a yearly reminder that nothing has changed and you're still single. I'm talking about the dreaded "single" box. 

2. Spouse's Information: Get past the box, face the "if filing jointly, please enter your spouse's name here." Why don't they just put, if you're married or part of a happy, little sunshine-y couple, brag about it here? Really, it's like one of those plus one invitations when you don't have a stupid plus one. Sidebar: Can your plus one be a handbag? If so, I have lots of plus one options...ones that will carry all my stuff and match my outfit.

3. Phantom Signature Box: Once you work through the math and tax tables, you're ready to sign and send. BUT just as you sign your name, you have to face the Phantom Signature Box, otherwise known as the spouse's signature box. It's such a joy to see your lonely little signature right above a cold, empty box. For once, I wouldn't mind seeing something underneath me.  Maybe next year they can add little florescent flashing lights, just for the heck of it.

Oh, and I'm not even going to get into tax breaks, or lack thereof.  I move that they create a form solely for singles--no spouse info. boxes, no phantom signature boxes, and no checking of the "single" box.

Taxes. Foe of mankind, sarcastic enemy to singles.


  1. but if you had a spouse, you wouldn't be here being the best blogger in the world :D

  2. Taxes suck, no matter what...but they're a necessary evil!

  3. while i agree with lex, that is lame. being inept, my dad fills out tax stuff for me. BUT on my jury duty summons i got last week, it has all that spouse information and the singles box.

    and think, if they made one exclusively for singles, they could take off all that extra space and make a shorter form! saving the trees!

  4. Kind of along the same lines, I hate those parking spots at stores for "woman (sometimes it says parent) and child." Yet another reminder I don't have a kid and don't fit into the married with 3.5 kids and a dog cookie cutter mold we're told from birth we should all be when we grow up.

  5. Taxes were created by the Devil. I'm quite sure of it. lol

    And I hate that "singles" box. I don't care what form it's on.

  6. The only good thing about filing taxes and those annoying forms is that I got my refund already!!! :) Hey, I have to find the silver lining wherever I can chica! :)

  7. hahaha thankgod i dont work(yet) so no taxes for me :p
    hopefully i'll be able to tick married when i start getting taxed lol

  8. The whole world is out to get you.

  9. Normally, I don't post anonymously, but I don't want your fan base yelling at me.

    I love your blog. I honestly do. But it makes me so sad when I read posts like this. The premise of your blog, most of the time, is being a virgin and being proud of the fact that you're not just giving it up for free.

    But the rest of the time? You just come across as one of those bitter, bitter single women. I'm sorry you don't have someone in your life right now. I'm sorry that other people in the world do. But just because you're single, I don't think the people who read your blog who are dating/engaged/married/whatever should have to feel badly about that fact.

    Bitterness just isn't an attractive quality. The tax form isn't out to get you, or anyone else who's single. It's a one-size-fits-all form.

  10. I am so with you! I just filed last weekend (I know I procrastinate) and was pretty ticked at all the "spouses occupation" "Spouses income" UM...didn't I just click SINGLE! So evil!

  11. When my wife and I file, I never get the feeling that we're sunshine-y and bragging about our status. Actually, the fact that we're married only causes more grief when we check off the appropriate boxes on the return form. I find myself thinking: Oh jeez, how are they going to use this to tax us even more?

    See, it's not just singles who view this time of year negatively. We all get screwed in the end -- and not in the good, virgin-ending way, either. :)

    Hang in there!

  12. I don't mind being a single and marking the "single" box, it has it's pros and cons. Plus I don't have to share any money I may get with anyone that would spend it on something silly (well sillier than I would).

  13. I look at it as a badge of honor--being single is being able to take care of yourself and do what the heck you want! Yes, it's great to have someone, but it's also great to be single and make every decision based on what you want to do. I've been single so long, I don't even look at the boxes for the spouse. I can't say it bothers me at all. But I think they should expand it to "Kinda seeing someone" "Been with one person for years, but just livin' together", and "hell no! I just got divorced!"

  14. Lex: Aww, you are a sweetheart!

    Eva: Yep, totally agree!

    OT: :)

    Aubree: lol Saving the trees! I like it!

    Barsola: Oooh, I didn't know they had spaces like those! Yikes! Yeah, I can see where those would be annoying.

    J. Day: lol I hear you!

    Yvonne: Silver linings are a very good thing. :)

    kitkat: I hope for you, too. The single box is like a bug--annoying and needing squashing.

    Drake: Nah, not in the least. The single box, maybe, but then it's after every single person on the planet! ;)

    Anon: Thank you for liking my blog--I really appreciate it. I am sorry you feel that way about posts like this one. Maybe my sense of humor doesn't translate well, but I can assure you, bitterness is the farthest thing from my heart, mind, and soul. If I were bitter, I wouldn't cry at weddings, or romantic films, or feel pure joy when someone (whether I know them or not) finds love. And I certainly wouldn't believe in love as deeply as I do.

    These posts aren't meant to be bitter...they're just my way of joking around about Singletonville. Nothin' more, nothin' less.

    Jewels: LOL! Evil tax forms!

    David: I'm just jokin' around about the sunshine-y stuff--my mom and I were laughing about all the things that might go through a single person's mind. lol And, yeah, we all get screwed in the end...just not in the good way.;)

    Nicole: LOL--I like that!

    Ms. Caboo: "But I think they should expand it to 'Kinda seeing someone' 'Been with one person for years, but just livin' together', and 'hell no! I just got divorced!'"

    I'm still laughing!!! FANTASTIC idea!!! LOL

  15. My ass is still hurting from my tangle with Uncle Sam this past week. Thieving f*kcer.

  16. Kat: You NEVER fail to make my sides split from laughter!!