Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Virgin: Code Name For Alien.

So, according to Friend, virgins are no different than aliens. You read right. 

Friend: "You know, virgins, especially older ones, are a lot like aliens."

Me: "How do you figure?"

Friend: "Well, they're rarely seen...

Me: "Actually, they're seen everyday. They're not hiding in spaceships, viewing human life from afar. It's just that most people don't know to scream, 'Hey, look, there's a virgin! Run for your lives!'"

Friend, chuckling: "That blows the whole visual I had involving virgins and little green aliens."

Me, smiling, while shaking head: "You're sick, and I don't want to know."

Friend: "Anyway, okay, let me modify things: virgins could be like the aliens on V--pretty damn hot, but scaly creatures underneath."

Me: "Yeah, that's just fantastic. Exactly what virgins need--the idea that we hide scales and gooey grossness under our flesh. Really, just super. --brief pause-- E.T. phone home." (said in my best E.T. voice).

Friend, laughing: "Hey, maybe the government will want to take virgins in for scientific study!"

Me: "It's called a hymen. Hardly a scientific breakthrough."

And so ended the whole virgins-aliens comparison. Good times. Actually, it was pretty dang funny.

Oh, and just one more thing....

Be Good.

Hmm.  I'm hungry.  Think I'll grab some Reese's Pieces and daydream about how exciting Independence Day will be this year.


  1. I got a pretty hard time for being a virgin as long as I was, I imagine it's probably pretty tough the older you get.

    But I don't think you're hiding gooey skin and green scales or anything. And even if you were hiding green scales, Mystique was a pretty hot green scaly chick. (Some people argue she was blue, but she looked green on my TV.)

  2. I lost it at "it's called a hymen". LOL

    I'm not sure HOW anyone can up with the idea that virgins are like aliens. That just seems a wee bit far fetched to me.



  4. That was pretty darn funny actually.

  5. Chanel: It can be difficult, that's for certain. Oooh, Mystique! I'll take that virgin joke/comparison! lol

    J.Day: :) I reckon it came from the fact that we're a little different than the norm. But, yeah, it's more than a little far fetched...still, gotta admit, it was funny as heck. lol

    Drake: Okay, THAT was hilarious.

    OT: :) See, this is why ya gotta have a sense of humor in this old world.

  6. You are too much! I am sure that even if you were hiding scaly gooeyness under your flesh you'd still find somebody who loves you for it! :)

  7. Ha! I wish we could have a chat over a cup of coffee! We could bring our dads along if we ran out of things to say!

  8. "--brief pause-- E.T. phone home"

    Bahahaha this made me laugh, probably because it sounds like something I would do. I love random conversations like that with strange friends.

  9. This has nothing to do with your post, but when I was little my dad let me watch E.T. It was the single most terrifying hour and 55 minutes of my life. For months afterward, I would scream and cry at night. E.T. was in my closet. I remember it so clearly. I looked to my left and there he was. Vivid as day. Pointing at me. *shivers*

  10. Jewels: Thanks for that! lol

    Carole: Aww, that sounds like fun! :)

    Anna: :) I couldn't help myself--I mean, heck, if you're going to compare me to an alien, then, by dang, you are going to get an alien. Random conversations with strange friends are the best. lol

    Lex: Awww, sweetie, I'm sorry! I hope this post didn't conjure up those memories too much! :(

  11. You may be a rare item, but certainly not an alien!
    Check out my blog on Friday....there might be something there of interest to you!

  12. i feel there were some ET jokes at the end but i've never seen ET. 0_0 yeah i haven't seen a lot of common movies.

  13. Bahahahaha! Good for you FV! That was funny! As in everything in life, you have to keep your sense of humor!

  14. You're a quick wit with that hymen line and it was HILARIOUS!

  15. Eva: Oooh! Yay! I can't wait!

    Aubree: LOL--Yep, they were plays on the movie E.T. and Independence Day with Will Smith.

    Yvonne: You really have to! :)

    Barsola: :) Thank you! It just popped into my head. Reckon I'm an expert on virgin humor by now.

  16. That is hysterical, I miss the show V. It's not really the image us virgins want to be giving off but I could see a comparison there...kinda :D