Friday, April 8, 2011

Drive-by Snarks

Snarks--Those nasty little backhanded comments shot over the net and into your face when you least expect them. Sometimes they're coated with a dusting of brown sugar; other times they are smacking in your face like bug guts on a windshield.

Being single predisposes us to snarks from a certain kind of married and/or relationship person. You know the kind I'm talking about--they are akin to the now grown-up bullies we knew in high school.

Behold the snarks:

The I'm-Too-Busy-For-Business-Married-Woman: "I completely appreciate that you may not understand what all this means, but I have a toddler, an infant, and a husband to take care of."  Um, I simply requested a business document.

The Make-Fun-Of-Older-Singles-Younger-Woman: "You must watch a lot of Bridget Jones." Yes, I love watching the plights of our favorite 30-something singleton but, good grief, I don't sit around and watch it on a loop.  My comeback? "No, but I have watched a helluva lot of Buffy." Very effective comeback. Note to single women: When faced with a "you must watch" snark, select a strong, wouldn't-want-to-mess-with, kick-a** heroine.

The Single-Attention-Seeking-Woman: "I can get any man, anytime, anyplace. Take it from me, just use your back. It's about time, don't you think?"  She undoubtedly gets the men, although keeping them is an entirely different matter.

The Happily-Ever-After-And-Now-Out-To-Make-All-Single-People-Suffer-Woman: "I'm so glad I'm not single anymore. Being with someone is like finally feeling alive, like I can breathe at last." Uh-huh. Can't you just hear the dang cartoon birds tweeting all around her while tying ribbons in her hair? Ugh. In my world, those birds aren't tying bows...they're dive-bombing.


  1. haha. I love you, sweets. Been a while since we touched base-hope all is well. I'm thinking of you! Single sisters unite! haha.

  2. loool! i share your sentiments.

  3. The woman who needs a man in her life to be able to breathe is pathetic!

  4. haha the "i can get any guy i want" people never seem to be with someone for long, i've noticed.

  5. My sister was one of those "get any man she wants" girls, but then she went from one disasterous relationship to another. Finally now it seems that she has found "A good one".

    Attracting the men is nothing to brag about. It's keeping one that is the real accomplishment. And that will happen when it's TIME.

  6. Yeah, catching men is nothing. We're easy! :)

  7. Yeah . . . I've known women like that. They're now divorced and unhappy.

  8. Really, what is the big deal about being in a relationship?? I don't get it. Having someone to cuddle with is nice, yes, but that's about it. If I wanted someone to keep, I'd get a cat.

  9. i hate that you have to live with that. i just hate people. i hate them.

  10. I have a small surprise for you... Check out my blog :)

  11. Most of the time these women only give me the impression that it's just their way of feeling better about their own lives. Misery likes company, so if we feel bad about ourselves they feel better about themselves. Women can be so catty...

  12. For these women, what they're really saying is: "I envy you." The grass is always greener on the other side!

  13. Tell them to kiss your hymen, Miss Virgin. That would put them in their place!

  14. The grass is always greener, I guess. To be honest, I get jealous of my single friends often. It's all subjective. As for snarks? That's all they are. Don't let them bug you! =]

  15. This may not surprise you, but I appreciate this post more than any of your others. They're always good, but I really get it (as in, I don't get it, if you know what I mean).

    Do you also hear from the snarker who accuses you of being "too picky." (Sure, if "too picky" means not settling for a psycho, alcoholic, narcissist or idiot. Yeah, I'm too picky.)

    Big hugs!

  16. Ugh! I totally relate to this! Sometimes I just want to slap those people that do that! A of times though, they are my own friends!

  17. Looovvve the Buffy comeback! More often than not, snarky people are really the ones who need to "get a life". I mean, who asked these a$$e$ for their opinion anyway?? The sad truth is that snarky people are seriously jealous of women like you. You're a strong, intelligent, independent woman who truly knows her own heart.

    I assure you that none of these biotches will ever have the love and respect of friends and family that you do! What can be better than that?

    Keep on keepin' it real, girl!
    ~Mrs B

  18. Good tips...anyone who comes up with these snarks def. deserve a snark to be thrown back at them...

  19. OT: Thank, Oilfield. ;)

    Jewels: Much love right back at you! Must echo: Single sisters unite!! :)

    Kitkat: :) Thanks.

    Eva: Pretty much.

    Aubree: Very true.

    Alittlesprite: Thank you, and I'm so glad your sister has found a good guy. :) It really does come down to timing.

    David: lol So I hear. :)

    JDay: It's really sad.

    Estefanny: LOL--yeah, a puppy or kitten makes for fantastic LOYAL companionship. lol

    Lex: Aww, you are such a sweetheart! Well, for whatever reason, some people just don't know how to be nice. I actually feel sorry for them. :(

    Starlight: Aww, thank you! I will head over there tonight! Thank you!!

    Beliza: Agree completely. It's sad. And, yes, women can be so incredibly catty. I'll never understand it. I mean, we're all in the same boat, right? Shouldn't we support each other?

    Ms. Caboo: Maybe that is what they mean. I dunno. The grass does always appear greener, that's for sure. Every choice in life comes with its own set of obstacles--nothing is perfect. Reckon you can only live in a way that feels right for you.

    GB: *Blushes* You never hesitate to make me blush. And, um, yeah, that would totally put them in their place...and a state of shock. lol

    Stephanie: Promise not to let them get to me. After a while, they just become amusing and sad. So, I share them here. lol

    Robyn: lol Thank you! I totally understand what you are saying. And YES! I have heard the whole "your expectations are too high" thing. Gosh, since when did wanting trust, honestly, and loyalty equal "aiming too high?" How pathetic is that?! Reckon I'll keep aiming too high, then.

    Yvonne: I hear you. Sometimes they are friends, which can really hurt. It's amazing how quickly they forget what it's like to be single.

    Mrs. B: Much love to you! Thank you so much! I feel really sorry for the snark-throwers. I just don't get why people feel the need.

    caterpillar: lol Sometimes I reckon they do. lol Thank you for stopping by. :) I look forward to visiting your blog as well.

  20. You handled those rude assholes brilliantly, Frisky love.~

    Next time say the same things and just add "and you're also ugly" at the end every time. ;-)