Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Tagged: Fact or Fiction

J.Day has tagged me with a fun game!

Rules: You must list 5 things about yourself; 4 of them must be fiction, 1 must be true. Fellow bloggers will try and guess which one is true. Then, I pass this on to 4 bloggers.  

I'm going to mix it up, as well.  

2 of the following will be FACT; 3 will be FICTION.

1. Up Close & Personal With Troy Aikman: I once met Troy Aikman (he was retired from the game at this point). Of course, when I say "met," I mean I was in the same vicinity.  He sat only a couple of rows down from where I was sitting with a friend and my dad.  

During the break, I ended up directly behind him in a very long line.  I felt so teeny tiny looking up at the back of his head. I kept thinking, "Wow. This was our quarterback! He helped win us super bowls!" He, um, smelled good, too.  And, no, I didn't take the time to sniff him...not really, anyway.  I mean, he was right there, barely an inch in front of me, I couldn't avoid his scent people! 

Well, like an idiot, I dropped my money. When I bent over to pick up the money, the guy behind me tried to push me out of line. What happened next was nothing short of horrifyingly humiliating. 

There I was, stumbling forward, trying to stand back up and maintain my place in line, when I lost my balance and wound up with part of my face and forehead on Troy Aikman's buttocks. 

He slowly turned and asked if  everything was "okay back there." He had a good laugh over it all. So not the way I wished to meet the Hall of Fame quarterback.

What's worse? My friend later swore it wasn't really Troy Aikman; my dad, on the other hand, was certain it was him. All I know is my face decided to cuddle with a man's butt cheeks...a man that could have been the beloved Cowboys' quarterback.

2.  Pilot Seagull: While walking on Fisherman's Wharf with my mom and dad on a trip to California, a seagull decided to dive bomb a massive dump directly on my head. I walked around the rest of the day with sticky-shi**y hair.

3.  Peter Piper Picked A Pecan Pie: Picture an extremely small restaurant --maybe 20 tables; at the back of the place, near the cash register, there was a large glass enclosed area where they sold pies and cakes. The room was so quiet. As I started to leave, I noticed a rather tasty pecan pie calling to me from inside the glass display.  I turned, and said, "Oh, look at that pecan piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." Missing an embarrassingly obvious step, I flew down, and crashed into the glass counter. It didn't break, nor did I, but the whole place was trying to keep from laughing, some more than others. I bought the pie out of sheer humiliation. 

4.The Flagpole: Late for class one day after gym, I was too busy talking with a friend and slammed headfirst into a metal flagpole. The impact made that classic "BONG" sound. I fell backwards on my butt, pressing my palm against my head, laughing and crying all at the same time.

5.  Eye Don't Like You: I don't care for people near my eyes, doctor or not. So, when dear Doc tried to put drops in my eyes for the first time, we had a little problem. 

Every single time he got near my eye, some automatic reflex just took over my body: I jerked my head sideways, took my fist, and punched his arm away from me. This happened two more times, with drops going down the side of my face, my ear, and in my hair, before Doc decided he would count to 3. Huh! I'm too smart for that! I knew full well he was going to drop those poisonous drops on 1 or 2.  Sure enough, on 2, he aimed, I fist punched and my leg kicked into his little table-tray thingy, making a God-awful noise, and sending a few of his tools crashing to the floor. 

Staying calm, Doc said, "Well, you're a feisty one, aren't you? We're going to have to try this a different way then." 

He moved all things away from my legs, then wisely moved behind me, so I couldn't see him. He still had a tough time getting those drops in, but he finally succeeded. After all was said and done, he said he never saw someone with quicker reflexes and superior peripheral vision...he also said he needed some aspirin and a vacation. 

Tag, you're it:  I tried to pick people who haven't been tagged with this one, but I may have missed someone.  I just really think they will come up with some awesome stories, both fact and fiction!

chocolate angel; Gorilla Bananas; Oilfield Trash; Rawknrobyn;

Bloggers: Okay, now it's up to y'all! Which TWO are FACT??? I'll post the answers late tonight. :) 

P.S. If there are any typos, please forgive me--very tired eyes today. 


  1. How about Troy and the flagpole?

  2. I want to say Troy and the eye doc are fact, there is enough info there. BUT. I'm going to go with number two and the flagpole!

  3. LOL! You are an awesome story teller! ;-)
    I'd have to go with the pecan pie story, and the flagpole. I love the Troy Aikman story, though, and always liked him as a big ol' hunk of quarterback (this coming from a Bears fan, nontheless, lol!)

    And thanks for tagging me! Hadn't my turn yet. I'll see what I can come up with in the next couple of days :-)

  4. All your stories are about humiliation, I get the feeling you’re quite the masochist.

    I pick one and five purely on the basis that they are the longest and most detailed.

  5. Frisky, we are gonna get together one day, and I'm gonna teach the art of swaggah.~ ;-)

    I'm going with 1 and 5.

  6. I'm going with 1 and 5 for Drake's reasons...the detail in them got me. You probably did that to throw us off...but I'm going to bite. :-)

    I'm so glad you did this. I saw that J.Day tagged you so I didn't...but I really wanted to see you do this!

  7. Oh, you tell a great story. Thanks so much for tagging me - I think. You're sweet. I appreciate it. I just don't know if I can rise to the standards you've set. All of these are believable, but I'm also voting for the first and the last ones. So many of us will be envious of you if #1 is true. The eye doc mentioning needing a vacation sealed the last one for me.

  8. I am saying that #'s 1 and 4 are true.

  9. I would also normally choose the longer stories . . . but then I figure you're smart enough to know that's what people would pick, and for that very reason, so you purposely made those stories longer to throw us off.

    My picks are "Pecan Pie" and "The Flagpole" as being Fact -- 3 & 4.

    The rest are Fiction, or embellishments on true stories that either happened to you or someone you know.

  10. I'm going to just go with what might've happened to me in real life. So I'm guessing the Pecan Pie and the Eye Doctor.

    I do agree that the others must be something that's an exaggeration of real life, or happened to someone you know. Too real!