Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Vomit Day #1: Mistaken Valentine.

So, I thought I'd tell you how a girl who loves love, adores pink, and is a sucker for romance, literally loathes Valentine's Day.  I've never, ever had a good one. Seriously, I have rigid rules for that God forsaken day (another post for another day).

Mistaken Valentine:

Do you remember the flower tables in school? I dreaded them. Every Vomit Day those damn tables would pop up covered with big white buckets full of friggin' flowers.

The worst part? This whole flower-giving shindig went down in the cafeteria IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL. So, every single self-professed "it" kid knew who got a flower, who didn't, who wanted one, who cried (yes, some cried...I didn't...not in public, anyway), etc.

The stress was unreal: Am I going to get a flower? Who might give me a flower? Oh Dear God, will pick-a-nose boy give me a flower?

Well, on this particular day of blithering bile, I had it on good authority that someone was going to give me a flower. Sadly, I was quite excited in spite of myself. Lunchtime arrives, and I'm a little anxious. Could this be my first actually GOOD Valentine's Day?

Of course not.

Boy after boy approached the wicked flower table, purchased a flower, then delivered it to their chosen girl, while an entire lunchroom took note. Finally, a boy I didn't recognize purchased a pink carnation and began walking in my direction. My friends were all nudging me, yanking on my sweater, etc.

Just as he was about to hand me the flower (and, yes, I was in mid-stretch for the stupid thing) I heard a voice in the distance shout, "No! Not her! The girl behind her!"


The boy meekly apologized, then handed the flower to the girl behind me--he literally reached over my head to give it to her.  As he did, a drop of water fell on my forehead. Humiliation personified.

Apparently, he was just the delivery boy...and I was the wrong address.

Needless to say, I didn't get a flower.

I loathe this day with a Medusa-like passion.


  1. We didn't have the flower tables at my school. And I never liked this "holiday" for as long as I can remember. Even after I grew up and got married, I still don't like it.

  2. I share your anti-Vomit day passion. This is a great (but horrible) story. So sorry.
    If it helps any, you have a new follower.

  3. Yikes! I'm sorry! If it makes you feel any better, girls in my school would get balloons and big boxes of candy and enough flowers to make you sick.
    At the school, they sold candy hearts, and delivered them during 2nd period. One time, I was the ONLY girl in my 2nd period to NOT get one. Even in my relationship with Mike, I still don't comletely like Valentine's day. Too many memories...

  4. "I loathe this day with a Medusa-like passion."<--- next time tell us how you really feel. I am with you on this one. Valentines day sucks.

  5. Bleh! I'm sorry! That sucks. I stand united with you on the lethal hate for Vday. If it makes you feel any better, I was 20 years old before I received roses from a guy. TWENTY! Eh! And it wasn't even Vday either! Now I buy myself flowers but still, it would be nice if I received a little something from someone else other than me or my siblings. xoxo

  6. Oh my gosh....I just want to give you a great big mommy hug! That was an awful experience for you.
    I'm a fan of Valentine's day and I've been married for 34 years!

  7. The trick is to ignore it. That's what cool women do on Valentine's Day.

  8. Oh gawd, the stress of V-day! I wear black that day and play the angel of gloom. I hate it!

  9. What a horrible thing to do to kids! flower tables! No wonder you hate the day. I would, too!

  10. I wonder what the principle was thinking when he invented this? “Hmm, if I take the humiliating experience of not being picked for a team in gym class, multiply it by a thousand by allowing the entire school to watch, and then finally combine all that with the awkwardness of valentines day, we’ll have a recipe for severe psychological damage!

  11. We never had this at any of my schools, so I was saved mucho humiliation because I can guarantee I would not have gotten a flower at any time!

  12. Same here, same here. Though I don't really take it as a big deal. :)

  13. I can't say I *hate* the day, per se. But I do find it to be an unbelievably boring holiday. My wife and I never celebrate it.

    But, yikes! So glad I never had to go through this at my school. As a boy, of course, it would have been a different experience, I imagine. My shyness would have prevented me from purchasing a flower, much less giving it to a crush. Psychologically damaging in an entirely different way.

    One of many reasons I'm so happy to be a "grown up" now. :)

    Btw, I'm loving your blog!

  14. I don't remember anything like that at my school. I was probably in the gym playing basketball and didn't notice it.

  15. Thank God we didn't have such days in school... But is getting a/ any flower is important or getting it from the right guy is important..

  16. My freshman year in high school, a boy gave me and his ex-girlfriend carnations. Two days later, they were back together. Not as horrifically as your school, the tables were set up in the cafeteria, but the flowers themselves were delivered to our first block classes on Valentine's Day. Our was an English class, and the ex and I both were in it. In fact, she sat two seats behind me. Ironically, I talked to the guy, like, once more, and she and I are still friends. We were both pretty pissed at him.

  17. Whatever they gave out in schools, I never got one. Even in elementary school, I was nice and made valentines for my whole class. Well, not everyone did that. My bag tended to not be bulging at the end of the day.

  18. We never had flower tables when I was in school, but I did go to a Catholic school and I'm sure the nuns would have assumed that boys randomly handing out flowers to the girls, most certainly would have led to only one thing - rampant de-flowering!

    I've always been pretty ambivilent about V-Day, but I can see why it's one of the most hated holidays of the year. Hubby used to send me flowers on V-Day when I was working, but I think it was more a way of subtly marking his territory. LOL

    Sorry I totally missed your post of 1/19... and thank you, btw! I have a ton of catching up to do! Good to be back though.

    Hang in there my friend,

  19. OMG that's fucking horrible! I'm so sorry that you had to experience that, sweetpea! *hugs you tight you even though you don't know me 'cause that's how I roll*

  20. We had a process that was pretty anonymous. You would buy a flower or a candy gram and it was delivered via the glee club. Yup...they'd come a singing some love song while the "delivery people" handed out the goodies. Since there was no way of knowing who gave them to who my girlfriends and I always got them for each other. It was more a fun thing at our school and less about boys and girls. I never minded it in highschool. Now at 30, I realize it's a very commercial day because those in love don't need a day to remind them...and those that are single (cough cough) certainly don't need a day to remind them that they are either! :-/ Oh well. Such is life.

  21. OOPs I meant to say I'n NOT a fan of VDay and I've been married for 34 yrs!

  22. We didn't have a flower table. But my friends and I all wore black in protest for V day.

    Today, I hate it even more... I just spent 1.5 hours writing V day cards and making little baggies of hersey kisses up for my boy's classroom. 57 of them. And, I haven't even thought of what to do for the after school programs.

    Good thing Almost Hubs took the day off from work... I'm gonna need a foot rub. :)

  23. This page is so pretty:)
    We didn't have the flower table thing at our school. It's not as big a thing over here in Australia. I never really liked the day either. Until I met my hubby. Now we buy each other a gift but we have a rule it can't be more than $5, so it's usually something personal and cute.

    Thanks for stopping by my page, you are most welcome any time :)