This whole Brett Favre thing seems to be spiraling, with more and more coming out by the minute. You can bet there is more to come with the Vikings playing the Jets tomorrow night. I hope he didn't do it, but I will not be surprised if he did. How sad is that, really? How sad and pathetic that as a woman living in this day and time, I would not be surprised if a human being touted as a family man, loving husband, and undeniable football icon is shown to have been cheating (or attempting to cheat) all along? When did this happen? When did cheating become something so common, so out there, that it fails to shock anyone anymore?
Yes, I know cheating has been around since the beginning of time, and I know both men and women cheat--I'm not that naive. I've known both men and women who cheat. Here's a little rundown of what I learned from them:
***NOTE: I understand everyone has their own story when it comes to the topic of cheating...I'm just sharin' what I've witnessed***
1. The men felt guilty once they were caught, not before.
2. The women felt guilty immediately after their first encounter.
3. One woman in particular (single) fell in love with the prototypical "unhappily married man who is leaving his wife for her." Do I need to tell you how that ended? Not happily for any of the parties.
4. Single men who cheat are often thought of as "studs" or "players," glorified by their posse.
5. Married men who cheat are often thought of as the victim--the wife isn't treating him right, he's miserable and sad, it's not his fault.
6. Single women who sleep around or cheat are thought of as "whores" or "sluts."
7. Married women who cheat are thought of as the villain...and "whores" or "sluts."
Tiger Woods cheats with a bevy of women; he claims sexual addiction and goes to rehab. I called it from the moment the second mistress surfaced. So many people came out of the woodwork saying things like, "Leave him alone, he needs help!" "As long as he can play golf, what does it matter?" "He is really sorry for what he did, leave him alone." Um, he was sorry...AFTER he was caught!
So, I had to pose the question: "If it had been a married celebrity woman who did all the same things as Tiger and she claimed sexual addiction, what would you say?" The responses were hilariously pathetic: "I think it's tougher for men. Women should know better." "She's a wife and mother...she should be at home with her kids, not screwing around." "She's a slut." "Sex addiction for a woman? Are you kidding? hahahahaha."
Here's the thing: Why are men the victims and women the villains? Why label either party as sluts, whores, studs, or players? Cheating is cheating. What's the need for labels? What's the need to try and justify or excuse cheating?
1. "I was drunk."
2. "It just happened."
First, you make the decision to drink, just like you make the decision to cheat. If you got drunk with some random girl (or guy), that was your CHOICE.
Second, floods just happen, tornadoes just happen, lightening just happens; unzipping and part placement? Yeah, those things don't just happen--they are CHOICES.
If you chose to cheat, so be it--it is your choice to live with, but don't insult the ones you hurt by trying to excuse or even justify your decision (Jesse James? Tiger Woods?)...be accountable and accept the consequences of your actions. In other words, deal with it. I know several women and men (both the cheaters and the cheated-on) who look back on certain situations and say the same: "If only I had been accountable for my actions." "If only he had been accountable." If only...
There, I'm done now. Feelin' better.