Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Why Wednesday #5: Why Love When You Can Have Passion?

My answer is to throw a question right back: Why can't you have both?

I knew a man--we'll call him Mr. Try Hard, and, boy, did he try hard--who once told me that passion is better than love.  According to him, love is messy, while passion is pure emotion, without any of the negatives.  Mr. Try Hard worked overtime to convince me, he even went so far as to say he would "love me during." Good to know. Duly noted. But, um, what about before? Heck, what about after? His response: "I feel the passion for you now, and once we have one night, we'll want will carry on."

Then something clicked in my brain: Ah, okay, so it comes back to lust. Passion=lust. Lust=passion. But Passion/Lust + Love = -1.  Got it.

Lust is great, intoxicating really...but why can't you lust the one you love? Since when did love become a four letter word? I guess I don't understand why lust/passion and love have to be mutually exclusive. 

I want them both. Is there something so wrong with that? My friends laugh, saying the two are never a package deal; either you choose love and a future or you choose lust and a moment. Rubbish. From what I have witnessed, I can honestly say that people who say such things are either: A. Afraid to love; B. Settle; C. Have less than honorable intentions; or D. Not interested in love, just lust.

To each his/her own--I understand there are varying circumstances affecting everyone's decision when it comes to the big L-O-V-E.  For me, I believe both can coexist. Just imagine the possibilities when lust and love do come together...would that really be so bad? Maybe it's worth the wait after all? Just something to think about.


  1. NOT mutually exclusive! Yes, everything's more fun when it's taboo. But you CAN have both. And you SHOULDN'T settle. More power to you for knowing you deserve better.

  2. Yes you can have both! I both love and lust after my husband even after being together for 9 years. :-)

  3. Rebekah & Kelly--I'm so glad to see confirmation that it does exist; that you can have both. :)

  4. OK, LOVE coexists wth Lust when if you want it to. Sometimes you can get so comfortable with the one you love that you lose sight of the Lust part. Sometimes you need to rekindle the lust aspects. (Most guys suck at this, therfore the no Lust/love combo thoughts)And, everyone settles in some aspect or another. Trick is to not settle with anything more than what you're comfortable with. -J