Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Why Wednesday #7: Why Not Have Sex With A Friend You Love?

Because it's not the same kind of love...at least not until, and unless, it becomes more. 

Granted, I would really love for my soul mate to be my best friend--someone who knows me, someone who can read me.  Honestly, I would love for a friendship to turn into happily ever after (Jeez, I'm using this phrase way too much lately--what is that about?). 

The benefits of a friendship becoming more are clear: he knows me, I know him; he knows my quirks or flaws, I know his; there's nothing to hide and no pretending.  It's just us, pure, raw, and real.

Unfortunately, I've had a co-worker tell me it won't happen; he believes any man who wants to be my best friend just wants to get in my pants. Maybe he's right, but I would really hate to think every man feels this way...surely there are some out there in this big old world wishing for the same thing I am.

I like to call it the When Harry Met Sally wish. Who wouldn't want to spend forever with their best friend?

8 comments:

  1. Friends with benifits is never a good idea. And most guys do want to get in your pants, it's in their genes (or jeans HA!) but that doesn't mean that a good friend can't be more, in fact it's often better that way. You can't build a house without a strong foundation. -J

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  2. I could never do that... It would be like kissing my brother.. and my brother was a good friend...Friends w/benefits is definitely not a good thing... Guess its good if one is a user or shallow...

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  3. I always had a lot of guy friends. I was amazed at how many just dropped out of my life when I got married. Kind of heartbreaking, really. Most of them, I think, were the shallow ones, but I think the truly close ones worried about a mad husband.

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  4. Yeah it will change everything, and it will probably be awkward. Stick to your guns and if they ask why again, tell them because you effin want to-thats why lol-

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  5. I've never really understood the "friends with benefits" concept. It just seems weird and kinda pointless. But, then again, I've known some people who swear by the FWB method--they say it's nice to have the companionship. Still, I can't wrap my mind around the idea.

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  6. I can see both sides of this.

    And I truly believe that friendship is the foundation that everyone needs in their relationships or marriages. Because eventually down the road - there won't be romantic feelings and that's when a true, genuine friendship can carry you through until the next romantic phase in your life.

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  7. I had a good guy friend that (true story) I wanted to kiss this other guy..had only ever kissed ONE guy before so I called good guy friend and we made out for 2 hours (it was a teaching thing you see). We had a couple other good make out sessions..but sex with him..no way! Again with the major emotional connection...something things are just better off make outs! I can kinda see the logic, but I'm thinking it would more wreck the friendship...akwardness ensues.
    So glad you are following me now!! :)

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  8. In my personal experience this always gets messy. Because you are already friends and there is already a connection there one of you (typically the female-aka me) confuses this love with a real love or developes this love because I have a problem seperating sex from love...and ths arrangement ends when he doesn't feel the same. I have been able to save those friendships but going backwards is always a bit awkward. I wouldn't suggest it.

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