Ah, yes, the judgmental virgin. I can't tell you how often I have heard this during my undercover virgin investigations. I find the judgmental stereotype is more prevalent among women than men...and it is one of the most hurtful.
So how are virgins judgmental? According to what I have heard, virgins look down upon those who have sex; they allegedly "shame" sexually active women. When a friend of mine said precisely this, I asked her if I have ever judged her or shamed her in any way. She said, "of course not, but then you're not...are you?" When I revealed that I am, indeed, a virgin, she was stunned. She said, "but...you're, like, cool. You don't make me feel bad about myself."
Plain and simple: My choice is not for everyone; it is not perfect; it is not without disappointment. I would never dare judge someone for their choices simply because they are different from my own. Everyone chooses their own path.
My choice to stay a virgin until love finds me is simply an option, nothing more, nothing less. It's an option that is barely discussed anymore today. There are so many young girls going through high school hell, struggling with when and if to have sex. My hope with this blog is to enlighten people on who virgins truly are, what living this choice is all about, and maybe even reversing some of the stereotypes.
So, I suppose it comes down to this: I have spent my life being judged for my choice. Why on earth would I judge anyone else for theirs?
Stereotype #2: SLAYED (I hope).
WTG, I look forward to future stereotypes getting slayed, non-virgins just say that because maybe they feel bad about their own decisions, and admire you!
ReplyDeleteI'm only still in college and somehow feel I'm the last of my friends to still be a virgin. Reading your blog is like a breath of fresh air, and I love reading what you have to write. Thanks so much for taking the time for posting your thoughts and slaying stereotypes like these! :)
ReplyDeleteDaydreamBeliever: Thank you so much for your kind words. It has taken me a long time to get to this point of being comfortable enough to just lay it all out on the line about this decision.
ReplyDeleteFeeling like the last virgin among your friends: Oh, I know that feeling well. There is nothing wrong with waiting--never forget that. Though they may never tell you, some of your friends probably wish they had waited. I had friends tell me that, and it always, always surprised me. I guess it just goes to show that there is no such thing as a perfect choice--only a choice that is perfect enough for you.
You go, girl! I am a night owl, too!
ReplyDeleteMajorie: Thank you so much! I love staying up all hours!
ReplyDeleteIn my experience it's the sexually active ones who tend to shame people who are not sexually active. It's the people who are most judgmental themselves who think that others are judgmental.
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